About love and commitment
By DeeDee
@DeeDee05 (60)
July 5, 2022 11:54pm CST
Lately my mom always nag me to get married, but the thing is i don't really keen of that idea. I don't want to get married because:
1. I fear that i will lost my freedom once i got married
2. I don't believe in love, i'm afraid that once i or my spouse lost the spark we will get divorced or worse trapped in the loveless marriage
Now, i wonder what makes all the married or in relationship Lotters here be sure to get married or being in relationship with your significant others? What makes you choose them? What thing they did that moved you?
15 people like this
17 responses
just spend time with one.
@JimBo452020 (42629)
• United Kingdom
6 Jul 22
I never lost my freedom
Actually being in a relationship sharing time and space with someone is better anyway
5 people like this
@DeeDee05 (60)
•
6 Jul 22
and i still dont know how to choose the right one. lol. i always saw it around me, how lovey dovey the couple is at the beginning and then they just breaking up. i guess they are just not mean to be, and it's okay, but if there is children involved it getting hard because they feel the need to stay in relationship.
2 people like this
@JimBo452020 (42629)
• United Kingdom
6 Jul 22
You are not ready to get married.
You will know when you are
Trust me on that
4 people like this
@JimBo452020 (42629)
• United Kingdom
6 Jul 22
@DeeDee05 you just know
25 years now
I think I knew right
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13447)
• United States
8 Jul 22
When you meet the right person for marriage you will know if right.
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13447)
• United States
11 Jul 22
@DeeDee05 I knew I was in love he accepted me as I am. I had health issues then too. My family loved him. He was always between jobs.
Unfortunately he left mecin 20011 to find himself just left.so a bad ending.
Now that I had a stroke a different nursing homeci have to focus on me these days.
@elmer0421 (363)
•
8 Jul 22
I have read researches that about making relationships lasting for both heterosexuals and even for those belonging to LGBTQ and I notice there are commonalities in two researches...They are communication, similarities between two people, being supportive to each other and commitment...Truly, being committed to someone is especially important to a lasting relationship.
And I understand your feeling that your freedom will be lost.Being an INFP, I feel like I need some freedom and some alone time.People are vastly different and we can find someone similar to us when it comes to our beliefs, spending habits etc.That's why it's also pointed out from the research that getting know the person first is also essential...
1 person likes this
@elmer0421 (363)
•
11 Jul 22
@DeeDee05 Yes relationship can be tiring....Staying single can be fun and have an advantage that is doing what you want...
@klimsiaco (32)
•
6 Jul 22
Marriage is a decision and also it depends on the partner. So you really have to choose the best.
2 people like this
@DeeDee05 (60)
•
8 Jul 22
like financial, i can't buy anything i want anymore because i need to consider my partner and my life expense too, we need to save for children's education too and time freedom (?) i don't know what word to express it in english, what i mean is usually if i want to take vacation, i just go in whatever date i want but if i have partner i need to consider his availability too, orfind what place we both like to go. and here in my country if we want to loan money from bank or buy something expensive (house or land) we need to have agreement from the other partner.
@aninditasen (15742)
• Raurkela, India
9 Jul 22
Chosing a life partner according to attitude towards life works well. If both partners view towards life is the same, marriage will work and both will lead a happy life. Differences in opinion may arise but a solution will definitely come out.
1 person likes this
@Hildasalom (937)
• Nairobi, Kenya
6 Jul 22
I find the idea of getting married as a big deal to me and you have to be sure you want to. I have seen how married couples argue alot especially from my parents and I can't imagine getting married.
Another thing is that men think women are supposed to be the ones doing housechores and all that. I just find it absurd!!
1 person likes this
@ihasaquestion (8274)
•
7 Jul 22
If your mom hadn't gotten married, she certainly wouldn't have you and there will be no you asking all these questions right now. I guess there is no direct formula to this. If you are so scared, draw up a marriage contract but that will seem surreal. Being single or attached is a choice. Whichever you choose, just stick with it and make it work.
1 person likes this
@DeeDee05 (60)
•
8 Jul 22
yes, i already have my future planned in my head so eventho i don't have partner or kid i don't suffer. my mother just afraid that i will live and die alone later with no one to take care of me, but for me it better if i live alone than together with someone i can't stand.
1 person likes this
@sharonelton (25013)
• Lichfield, England
6 Jul 22
I'm exactly the opposite. I'm desperate to find a nice husband and get out of my parents house. I want to get a nice house in Cardiff and live there with my nice husband. My mother doesn't seem to think I'll be able to do it for some reason.
1 person likes this
@m_audrey6788 (58485)
• Germany
6 Jul 22
I just feel it and love to be with my husband all the time. A relationship can last long if you respect and accept each other differences. You have a point somehow, when you get married you can`t decide on your own anymore. It must be decided by the two of you to avoid misunderstandings 
1 person likes this
@misunderstood_zombie (8142)
• United States
6 Jul 22
This should be your choice and no one elses.
1 person likes this
@akanetuk (2107)
•
10 Jul 22
There are laws that govern everything, the law of attraction is the one that govern marriage. But most importantly love should rule every marriage.
