Do I really feel Lonely? I guess I do

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Hi lotties, it's been a long time. I haven't been here for several months, I guess. By the way..... Do you ever feel like you just want to be alone for a long time? Well, that's how I feel for this whole year. And yeah, now I feel lonely because I feel like I don't have much friends. I do have friends, but I think they are busy and I'm not that close to them so that we can have a deep talk or just small talk. I feel like I can't be bound to someone, so I always think I can't have a very close friend to talk about our bad days, good days, someone I can help to or someone who can help me to get through this kind of world. I am afraid people won't like me, or even hate me if I open up about what I have had been through for this several years ago or reveal who I really am. I always ended up feel lonely. Do you ever feel like that way? How to deal with that?