Living in Mud

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Yeah, sounds weird, doesn't it? I live with my daughter and her son. My daughter is bipolar(extreme moods) and she and I have been round and round over the years and have finally found a happy place. My grandson and I are both the same sign and have a unique connection. He used to be a demented and violent little guy and chose, at one point, to abuse his mom. Now that is behind us and he is very laid back and kind. He has Schizo affective disorder-depressive type. His disorder makes him feel detached from reality and may have delusions or the occasional hallucination. It's not fun for him but, he is on some major meds that help him feel like a human. I have major depression with panic attacks. I have not been able to find much in the way of a medication that helps me. Even tried DNA testing for med and none were any good to me. Yeah, we have all three of us been through the wringer. It takes time to find the right medications that help. I was very much opposed to putting my daughter on any kind of medication but after a lot of horrible situations, I found it to be the only answer. There are good days and bad days. Depression is tough on all three of us. It is like living in the mud some days you can pull yourself out and others you don't feel like doing anything. It is tough for me to see my grandson live with this. It's tough to see my daughter and how many meds she has to be on to help her balance it all. Me, I've been depressed most of my life and it is a normal part of life for me. The PTSD and panic attacks are still apparent at times but, for the most part, I have learned to live with them. I am able to help them both in different ways. My deepest fear and something that upsets me most is what will happen to them when I am gone. I am trying to teach them both different things that will help them in the long run. It's hard to teach my daughter because she has a slight learning disability that makes it hard for her to learn and keep the learning available to her. Winter months are the hardest. We've been through a lot. We do what we can. Picture is courtesy of Google.