Sad Memories in the Dark Hours of Early Morning

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I was watching this movie and some memories started bugging me. Things I'd put away came back to me. I have been married 4 times. The first time was to someone I thought was a real hero. He had come into my life when I stayed with my aunt and cousins to help out after my uncle died in an automobile accident. JN had been helping my aunt and taking the kids out and about sometimes. I put him on quite a pedestal. He turned out to be a wife-beater. He even tried to sell me because I was pregnant and unappealing to him. But, it wasn't until he nearly knocked my infant daughter out of my arms that I finally left him. My second marriage was to a man in prison for burglary. I found my visits with him rather exciting since I was rather shy and socially inept at best. I got pretty deep into it too. Even to the point of taking drugs into the prison for him to sell. Not something I am proud of but something that gave me the adventure I was seeking. We married inside the prison something the warden tried to talk me out of doing. I separated from him before he got out. My third marriage was to a charming, fun-loving guy I had known for years. Exciting being married to him. We traveled a lot and he made me into quite a doll for him. I enjoyed it until I saw what it was doing to my daughter and learned the truth about him. Our marriage had been a sham. He and his brother had had a bet between them that he could change me from the plane jane he had married into the sexy cutie I became. He won and I got even. He had a girlfriend on the side and I still had a key. I went there after we had separated one night when I knew they were gone. I took things I had forgotten to get plus some of her jewelry. Naughty me. My fourth marriage was to a guy I met in our apartment building. Nice guy to begin with. We had a lot in common. Went for drives, and enjoyed our time together. Used to read to one another on Sunday mornings. He'd drink heavily and get nasty with me. He didn't trust me and thought things were that weren't. I'd try to explain the truth of the matter but he would have none of it. There was a rifle pointed at me and fired, embarrassing moments when he would confront me at my work, death threats on the phone, drunken late-night visits, stalking, protective orders, and PTSD. Yeah, I could really pick 'em. I gave up men and romance in August 1996. I finally realized I just can't pick a keeper. The photo is of me when I was married to my third husband in the mid 80's.