In and Out and In and Out and In and Out

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Man, it was like a Who song!!! I survived the pulmonary function test. For those of you who’ve never had one, the photo is a little bit of what you get: pinched-off nose while you breathe into a machine through your mouth while the technician says, “Breathe in and out, in and out, in and out, take in a deep breath, blowblowblowblowblowblowblowblow!!!” In fact, I told her that she should just get “Squeeze Box” and play the chorus (“She goes in and out and in and out…”) instead of having to say it for four minutes. She’s smart: she didn’t say “breathe normally.” As she said, “I’ve had plenty of people tell me, ‘There’s nothing normal about this!’” So, instead, she said “easy breathing.” At which point I pulled out the phone and played Uriah Heep’s “Easy Living.” The results were great. Thank God! The medicines are working well, and the doctor agreed that having 45 fewer pounds to breathe around doesn’t hurt! The only thing I’m worried about is that we’re moving into an El Niño pattern, and I typically do very poorly in those weather patterns. But I’ll cross that bridge if and when I get to it. Now I get eight days off before another doctor’s appointment!!! Here’s the Who’s “Squeeze Box,” which I actually debated with my mother when I was 15 about it being a “dirty song.”