I Can't

I agree 100%. We CAN change when we are aware. I was a very different husband when my wife and I first got married than I am now. I changed. What allowed me to do it was understanding certain things, and my desire for my wife to be happy, as well as having the ability to analyze things in a certain way. Even as I age and become more set in my ways, I STILL have the ability to "unset" certain things. "I can." Of course, people who say "I can't change" simply don't want to, because again, it's harder to be something else than it is to stay the same and make excuses for why that's so. Granted, there are things about me personally I won't change. But that's different than saying I can't do it.

@porwest Because, like you said, you CARE. You cared enough to make the effort,

@LooeyVille Right. And that's true of most things in life. In order to say I can you have to want something, and of course, have to be willing to do the necessary things to achieve whatever it is you're after. The second part being the most important part, of course. Even those who say, "I can't," want something, but they aren't willing to do the necessary things to actually make those things happen.

I invest. It's made me a lot of money. I only invested in people who can. It works out. All I can do is feel sorry for the ones who can't, because I know they can, and there's so much money left on the table, I think. Kinda sorta. Not only that, but so many problems in the world could be solved simply by changing the words.

@porwest trust me Some people just can't!?

@porwest Thank you for the clarification. I say anyone can cook but not everyone can cook well. Some people should never go near a kitchen. I’ll admit I say “I can’t” enough times….

An "end all be all" is simply a way of saying, "There is no substitute or alternative. This is the only way." In this particular context, saying, "I can't" is the main purpose and reason for not doing something. But you're right, sometimes fear is a main driver of this. But it's still a copout no matter how you look at it. Many people use the term incorrectly as well. For example, someone might say, "I can't cook." Actually someone can LEARN to cook, so the correct statement is, "I don't cook." But fear of messing up a dish or burning down the kitchen might stop them from trying. lol The bottom line is that most people CAN at least TRY to do things. Granted, this has to be within reason of course. A mute man can't become a lead singer of a band or a man with no legs can't play pro-basketball. But that's beyond the main point of this post, of course. Generally speaking, most people who say, "I can't," actually CAN, they just don't want to, and the easy way out is to simply deny the possibility, and thus... Say, "I can't."

That's just a long winded way of saying, "I can," or, "I am willing." It's still much better than saying, "I can't."