Settle a debate for me! What are Fig Newtons?
By April
@thislittlepennyearns (65695)
Defuniak Springs, Florida
August 7, 2025 1:11am CST
Don’t get me wrong—I know what Fig Newtons are. I’ve been eating those things my whole life. They’ve always been cookies. They live in the cookie aisle. They roll with the Chips Ahoy and the Oreos. We’ve never questioned it. We’ve just accepted their cookie-ness and moved on with our lives.
But tonight... oh tonight, chaos was unleashed. I was watching something—I don’t even remember what, probably because I blacked out from sheer disbelief—but I heard some guy (and yes, I’m calling him out by gender) say that Fig Newtons... are granola bars.
Granola. Bars.
I almost threw my snack across the room. Not because I’m emotionally invested (okay, I am), but because last I checked, a critical ingredient in granola bars is, you know... granola. Which Fig Newtons do not have. Not even a little bit. Not a grain. Not a crumb. Nada.
So I’m turning to the court of public opinion. What say you? Are Fig Newtons cookies—like the rational among us believe—or are you out here living dangerously and calling them granola bars, in which case, I respectfully suggest therapy and maybe a snack intervention.
(Also, if Fig Newtons are granola bars... does that make Oreos sandwiches?? Where does it end??)
6 people like this
7 responses
@1creekgirl (44002)
• United States
9 Aug
This was a hilarious post! But of course Fig Newtons are cookies. That guy is deluded.
1 person likes this
@thislittlepennyearns (65695)
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
7 Aug
I like oreos ok, but there just ok. There are so many better cookies
1 person likes this
@kareng (78590)
• United States
10 Aug
@thislittlepennyearns Yes, it takes a certain mood for Oreos!!
@thislittlepennyearns (65695)
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
10 Aug
@kareng I like them soggy. and with lots of creeme. or the tiny ones. lol
@xstitcher (35106)
• Petaluma, California
9 Aug
Seriously, when I read about the guy saying they were granola bars, I yelled out, "What!?" There is no hint of granola in them. They're cookies--unless you want to get all snooty like the people on the old commercials and say "They're not cookies, they're fruit and cake." Still, not granola bars. 
@thislittlepennyearns (65695)
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
10 Aug
I would take fruit bar before granola. Or energy bar or something. But granola bar is a stretch that I just cant wrap my head around
@thislittlepennyearns (65695)
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
9 Aug
Seeeeeeeee.
He was confused, bless him.
@dgobucks226 (36784)
•
10 Aug
Oreos are not sandwiches in the traditional sense, but they do have a filling tucked between 2 wafers. So, maybe a "sandwich cookie" 
Fig Newtons are a cookie shaped like a rectangle. So, no granola. Now one might compare it to a pastry as you have a filling as some baking is used to make those delicious cookie texture.
Fig Newtons are a cookie shaped like a rectangle. So, no granola. Now one might compare it to a pastry as you have a filling as some baking is used to make those delicious cookie texture.@thislittlepennyearns (65695)
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
11 Aug
Oreos aren't a sandwich though. They are a cookie, but not a sandwich.
@porwest (105434)
• United States
7 Aug
Granola bars? You are right. Now, granted, granola by itself is not a thing. It's a combination of things. But Fig Newtons really don't have that combination of things that makes granola, of course. I'd go with a bite sized cake, if someone wanted to go there and classify them that way. That's fitting. They are soft and chewy and fruit filled, like a cake, or probably more like a pie would be. So, I'd accept bit sized pies too.
But they ARE in the cookie aisle and ARE marketed as cookies, so I think the only logical conclusion is that...they are soft, chewy, fruit filled cookies.
That all said, I can't eat them. I am allergic to fig. If I have a Fig Newton, I will break out in hives.
