Is it more important to be honest or kind in difficult situations?

Sometimes you have to be harsh with the truth. However, if you can be kind when dealing with something like what your mother-in-law is experiencing, then yes. Obviously, she'll need offical testing and possible treatment (if she's up for it), but some truths are hard no mater the context. I had to lay it out for George, again, in front of the nutritionist that he needs to focus on trying to eat more if he wants his peg tube to stay out. While I felt like I were scolding a child, I knew that was the right call. George is smart, he's able to make decisions on his own, still, but he's always been a little slow to understand concepts. I'll support the hell out of him. When he's ready to leave this earth, I'll respect his wishes. But, I'll fight like hell to get him the care he needs to stay alive. And, my approach works. Because he asks to clean his tummy. He wants to go pick up meds. He actually got upset over the entire situation, about it taking nearly two weeks to get the meds. So, for me tough love works.

In her case you need to be direct and hope she understands, I asked you before would it not be better if she did not live alone but with a companion?

Telling the truth in love is always the best. You have to let her know you are not saying or doing these things not to be unkind, but it is because you worry about her and her safety.

She needs you to be honest at this time. Many times it depends on the situation.

As you say ideally a combination of both , but in the case of your MIL , you need to be honest. I think the saying is “ you’ve got to be cruel to be kind “ …..you have to be honest which is saying things she won’t want to hear and will upset her , but , it will be better for her in the long run, as her safety is the most important thing.

Occasionally,white lies is kind and useful.But for the situation of your Mother-in-law,you should be honest telling she truth,otherwise her behaviour is possibly dangerous,such as break traffic rules.

While the phrase 'it will get worse before it gets better' comes to mind, hopefully the situation will start to improve soon once you have a concrete diagnosis.

A combination is, of course, the best answer. I understand the assignment here. But of course, I can't help but expand my answer beyond the scope of your question. I am an opinionated windbag and I can't just give you a simple answer. lol Here's the thing. I don't like political correctness. I prefer to be honest, come from the heart (good or bad) and tell things like they are, not how it feels better to be heard. If you're 200 pounds and 5'4", you're fat. No rhyme or reason to sugar coat that. If you're 60 and have worked a lifetime in retail or fast food jobs and haven't climbed the corporate ladder in those companies (in other words, you're not a manager or district manager and you've gone from job to job to job and store to store to store), you are not professionally inclined, an achiever, or career-oriented. It's just the facts. If you live in a shack in the woods...you live in a shack in the woods. "Hey, this is nice," may be a nice thing to say or to hear. But the reality is, "You live in a shack in the woods and it's a crap place to be and if you'd made better choices you'd be somewhere else." lol I could go on with many more examples, but I am sure you get my point. The truth is what it is. The truth. And the further truth is, lies can hurt you more even if the truth hurts really bad sometimes. Sure, one can make the argument that truth can be rude, inconsiderate, or even unkind. But here's the thing. It still doesn't mean it's not true. That being said, one can try to balance things. But there still needs to be a truth within that balance. "Hey, you're fat, but it doesn't make you less of a person, or a failure, or less valuable, and you can change that truth if you want to and work at it." At the end of the day we own the truth or we live the lie. Which is better? I think owning the truth is, because when we KNOW the truth and don't entertain the lie... It makes us all better in the end.