Until death do us apart...and beyond...

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Some people are not loners ....they want company ...CONSTANTLY. Others like I turn to online set ups ...for their dose of community, having been disillusioned by real life scenarios. And yet others ...enjoy their own company ... books, music, and all that. I am a hybrid actually of second and third types. So...in India, second marriages are not as popular as in the western world. A woman is expected to live with the same man ....forever........even if he is abusive...or has another family...or drinks...or gambles...or whatever.... Even if she walks out on that guy. ... nobody wants her... usually because she already has kids, and kids mean responsibility...and money outflow. But also because of insecurity that she is brave enough to walk out and that is not a good sign. Is it? LOL The situation gets even worse for those who are well past their prime. Their kids feel ashamed if they seek companionship. The word marriage is unfortunately associated with sex, and the kids now old enough cannot bear the thought their parents enjoying sex.... like them. Well, it is not always about sex. Not every elderly couple is looking for that.... they are looking for somebody with whom they can talk. Somebody who will be around to help them. Kids would be busy in their world, and they would have lost their spouses, or even be folks who never married. What is it that makes us Indians so inconsiderate? The inheritance - likely inheritance? When the surviving parent falls in the bathroom....we are willing to leave them at the mercy of house helps, right? Can they be trusted as much as a spouse? A spouse offers symbiotic relationship. You fall I will be there for you, I fall you be there for me. I tried a million ways to match make for my father. My father did not remarry. And because I was a girl, few would come forward too, because girl is a responsibility. A boy would have been easier to tackle. Perhaps. For a girl, the family has to spare huge sums....dowry, which would not leave much for the incoming bride and her children. So yeah...nothing worked. Now....at 66, I worry ...what if I die of cardiac arrest. Most of our family members have had that route for their death. Dad may still have another 5 to 10 years ahead.... but I could die even in an accident, right? Spend my time worrying...and that makes me feel older with each passing day. Leave it on god they say. But somewhere....there is also this belief ....god helps those who help themselves. Have never taken many obligations as an adult. Magnified the small ones gigantically. But...going forward.........I might have to take help. I hate this situation. I wonder why children don't realize this.