Little by little…

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Hi everyone. I’m still alive. It has been months since the last time I was here. Sometimes I think, who would even care whether I show up or not? But then I remember how great I feel whenever I’m on myLot. So yeah, I’ll keep on showing up. Last time I posted, I mentioned that I had lost a family member. I was hurting too much to even tell you who it was. And then, a few months later, another family member passed away. I was… numb. I kept asking God what I had done to deserve His wrath. The pain was suffocating.. unbearable, and I would never wish for anyone to go through what I did. But little by little, I’m becoming… okay-ish? Although I still tear up whenever I remember that this time last year, they were here. That Christmas will never be the same again without them. I cry every time I see their pictures on my social media. I thought the pain would never go away. But baby steps, as they say. I’m not a hundred percent okay — maybe I never will be — but I believe that someday it’s all going to make sense. I want to dedicate this day to my mom and my Ate (big sister). My tears will always well up for you both, but I will be okay. In time… Photo is of the clouds when I visited their grave. What do you see?