Mom’s Flying Home Alone and She’s Really Nervous / myLot

Philippines

December 9, 2025 7:35pm CST

I just want to share something here about my mom. She’s flying back to the Philippines in a month, but up to now she’s still super scared about the flight. Her trip to the US was actually the very first flight of her entire life and it was international. She pushed herself to do it because she wanted to attend my wedding and see how my life is here in the US. My mom has always been scared of heights and doesn’t have a strong heart for things like this, but she still made the effort for me. Her flight from the Philippines to the US went smoothly. I arranged wheelchair assistance for her, and it really helped. But when we flew to Las Vegas, the staff had to take her through an elevator, and she got nervous again. She managed because I was with her, but when she reached the area where she could see the ground from high up, she got dizzy and terrified. Now that her return flight is getting closer, she keeps telling us how scared she is. My husband can’t fly with her, and I can’t go either. We told her we’ll get wheelchair assistance again, but she’s still anxious. She worries about being inside the plane, not speaking English, being shy to use the lavatory, and not knowing how to ask for help. We’re also planning to ask the flight crew to check on her during the flight. And honestly… sometimes I regret bringing her to the US. I really thought she’d be okay on her way back home since she already experienced flying once, but I was completely wrong. Seeing how scared she now makes me feel guilty and sad. I wish I could help her more, but there’s only so much I can do. We keep telling her to pray and try to calm herself, but her fear just doesn’t go away. In the end, I told her that she’s the only one who can help herself overcome this, just like she did the first time, but her first time I was with her. Now it will be her solo flight going back to the Philippines. So I want to ask you guys: Has anyone here dealt with parents or relatives who were this scared of flying? How did you help them? Any tips that might make my mom feel more comfortable before her flight? Thanks in advance to anyone who shares advice.

4 people like this

5 responses

@DaddyEvil (163447)

• United States

10 Dec

You've already told her everything I could suggest. I hope her flight goes smoothly. One thing you might consider doing is getting a notebook and write things out for her in your language and in English on the same page and only one phrase/sentence on each page. That way she can find the sentence or phrase she needs and show it to the flight attendant or to another person nearby if she needs something. (You could put tabs sticking out with a single word saying what's on the page so she can find it quickly and easily.) Of course, I don't know how much doing that will help her if she's too shy to ask for help, though. I can only hope for success for her. Good luck! Edit to add: Does she have a doctor in the US? If so, talk to the doctor about how nervous she is. The doctor might prescribe something she can take before/during the flight that will help calm her nerves.

1 person likes this

Curlann

@annierose (21785)

• Philippines

10 Dec

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your suggestions. The notebook idea is really helpful. I think having phrases she can just point to will give her a bit more confidence, even if she’s shy. About the doctor, she actually doesn’t have a doctor here, and even if we take her to one, I don’t think the doctor would be able to communicate with her in our native language. That might make her even more anxious. But I really do appreciate the advice, and we’ll still look into whatever options we can find for her. Thanks again for being so helpful!

1 person likes this

Curlann

@annierose (21785)

• Philippines

10 Dec

@DaddyEvil Thanks! I could translate for her myself, but I think it’s really different when the doctor says it directly instead of me. It would probably make her feel a lot more reassured. I really appreciate all your advice.

1 person likes this

@DaddyEvil (163447)

• United States

10 Dec

@annierose You're welcome. You could talk to your doctor and see if they'd be willing to help with you translating for them both. Again, you're welcome.

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Marie Coyle

@MarieCoyle (52093)

•

10 Dec

I have known people who didn't like to fly, or who tried to avoid it if at all possible, but not as scared as your mother seems to be. You and your husband can't go with her. If she really wants to go back, it sounds as if she is going to have to face it herself. The only other option I can even think of is--does your mother have a family member or friend in the Philippines that would maybe fly to the US and then fly back with her? Yes, it would be expensive for sure. If she decides she can fly alone, there may be a local doctor who could give her some kind of calming medication, of course there would be no guarantee it would work but it's a chance.

1 person likes this

Curlann

@annierose (21785)

• Philippines

10 Dec

Thank you, Marie. Yes, she seems more scared than most people I know. If only we could fly with her, it would make everything so much easier. We actually thought about asking my sister to fly here and go back with her, but the problem is there’s no guarantee she could come. It’s really hard for someone in working age to get approved at the US embassy interview in the Philippines. Even if we covered all her expenses, we still wouldn’t be sure she could get a tourist visa. It would be okay if it was expensive, but the uncertainty about the visa is what makes it tricky. We’ll also check with a doctor about possible calming medication, even if it doesn’t fix everything, it might make the flight a bit easier for her. Thanks again for your advice and support!

1 person likes this

Marie Coyle

@MarieCoyle (52093)

•

10 Dec

@annierose Oh, it does sound complicated if your sister tried to come. I didn't think about the visa thing. Yes, it does sound as if your mom is going to have to fly by herself if she wants to go home. She CAN do it...hopefully she can build her confidence. There is no changing her mind once she is up in the air. Does she have a book that can help her, one that is in her native language, and in English if she needs it? Often bookstores have little books with questions that help tourists and travelers--questions like where is the restroom, I need a drink of water, etc. I sure don't really have answers for her to combat her fear but she can surely do it. I hope so, anyway.

1 person likes this

Curlann

@annierose (21785)

• Philippines

11 Dec

@MarieCoyle Thank you so much, Marie. Yes, it really is complicated, and we’re slowly accepting that she may have to do this on her own if she truly wants to go home. I keep reminding her that she can do it, just like you said. Once she’s on the plane, all she really has to do is sit back and let the crew take care of everything. The problem is sometimes she doubts if they will be around once she needs their help. A book is a great idea, I think. I’ll look for something simple in both English and Filipino that she can bring with her. Even small things that keep her occupied might help calm her nerves. We’ll keep encouraging her and hoping her confidence grows little by little. I really appreciate your support and kind words. It means a lot to us.