The Real Love of My Life

Tweet

While I was still working as a cocktail waitress and just before I went to work at the telephone company I met who would become the real love of my life. It had become my friend's and i's habit that occasionally if a band was playing that we liked we would go out on our days off for a while. I would put my daughter to bed and have mom come over to be there for her. This one night in particular we had gone to a bar down the road from where we worked. I had just come back of the floor from dancing. A man walked in the door at that moment and our eyes locked. He had long strawberry blonde hair and beautiful greenish blue eyes. I remember he was wearing a leather jacket, the one with bangles along the sleeves. Moments later he was there at my table and asked me to dance. Luckily it was a slow one and so we didn't have to make spectacles out of ourselves the first time we danced together. Neither of us were good dancers. TJS was a lovely copy of my father. The red hair, the eyes were different, but his personality was just like my dad's. He was soft spoken and had those kinds of eyes that looked straight through me to my very soul. He didn't talk much but when he did he had something to say. One of those. We started seeing a lot of one another. I knew almost immediately that my feelings for the man were nearing love. Real love. I loved the way he acted, I loved his four sons, and his mother's humor. She was a straight shooter. I like that type of person. He would come over to the apartment or we'd go out. I soon learned that he never planned to marry again. His first wife had had many affairs and never really loved him or their marriage. She was a drinker and a doper. When he learned the truth, he took the kids and left. His mother took them in and she watched the boys when he was working. He was a good father. One Christmas he made me a pair of earrings out of elk horn. I still have one of them. That same Christmas I went to surprise him at his place one night. He surprised me by just leaving with another woman. It was his ex. I came to find out that they still saw one another occasionally. I was heartbroken. Something else happened between us which I will not divulge but it was very hard on both of us. It was soon after that thing occurred that he suddenly broke it off with me. I acted so immaturely during that time. I cried, I begged. I didn't want to lose this man. But life goes on. I saw him again a few years later. My feelings hadn't changed. We spent the night together. I was so happy to be close to him once again. I was happy until morning. He told me he thought I hated him. No. But things hadn't changed. He was a man who didn't want to take the chance of being hurt again. He had loved completely and she had kicked that love into the dirt. He wasn't trying again. I never saw him again, but my thoughts go back to that time a lot. I wish things could have been different. Maybe if I had communicated better, been different. I don't know.