Disappearing Yard Ornaments

@porwest (112142)
United States
May 9, 2026 6:58am CST
I remember a story once about a neighbor who was a bit of a Gestapo in the neighborhood. He was a real "get off my lawn" character. Today we'd probably call him a Karen or a Darren... Although, I did hear the name Jessica is the new thing. People would put out certain ornaments to decorate their yards. Nothing too out there. Maybe someone had a couple of pink flamingoes. Another might have a gnome or two. Some garden flags or those colored, glass balls on a stand. If he thought something was off color or out of his taste, he'd sneak around at night at make those things disappear. He never discussed his distaste with anyone. Never gave anyone a reason. He was the town "cleaner upper" in his mind, and it was no one's business what he decided to do, and he was in no place to be asked. Finally, one neighbor grew tired of the town Gestapo's nightly disappearing acts, so he set him up. He put numerous gaudy items in his front yard, took a seat in a dark corner of his front porch, and waited. When the man came to make the opposing yard ornaments disappear, the neighbor shot him right there as he was taking up a metal frog staked in the ground. Dead. Afterward the neighborhood cheered. "Freedom," they cried. They even held a street party soon after with refreshments, brats and burgers. It was a glorious day, and not one neighbor mourned the ornery old man. Suddenly the neighborhood became active and vibrant again. People felt relieved. It was a new day. It was a better day. And the neighborhood thrived in peace forever after.
3 people like this
3 responses
@snowy22315 (207156)
• United States
28m
No way! Was that a true story? It sounds like a fairy tale. From what I gather though there is some real neighbor drama in places. Thank God I have good ones.
1 person likes this
@porwest (112142)
• United States
12m
No. I made it up. It's entirely anecdotal, but at the same time purposeful. lol
1 person likes this
@Jehanne (1395)
7m
Seriously? Isn't that called a plan murder. Lol!
@LadyDuck (500355)
• Italy
49m
So he did something legal shooting the guy? Goodness, he would be in jail here.