Weddings/I wanted no part of one
By Sissy15
@sissy15 (13364)
United States
July 17, 2026 8:48am CST
I've heard stories about little girls dreaming about their future wedding, and I can honestly say I wasn't one of them. I was always too busy playing in the mud and dirt or inside playing some very weird storyline with my Barbies. I never thought about weddings and love.
Fast forward to actually marrying my husband, and I remember feeling pressured by everyone to have a wedding where the whole family could come, but that wasn't what I wanted. I have never wanted a big wedding, or really any wedding at all. If I had had my way, no one would have been there except my husband, our son (he was 6 when we finally got married), and me. I compromised and allowed one of my sisters and my mom to be there. We went to the courthouse, and we were married there. Not only did we save a lot of money by not having a wedding, but I was also able to not have everyone stare at me. I have never enjoyed being the center of attention.
One of my sisters told me I would regret it one day. Almost 9 years later, and I still don't regret it. Everyone always thinks they know what is best for you, but never do they stop to think what it is YOU actually want. My sister was adamant that she would have a party for us, but agreed to combine it with our mom's birthday party so it wasn't just about us. I tried to fight her on it, but she wouldn't let it go. I really didn't want anything from anyone. I am the only one of my siblings that have been married who didn't have at least one real wedding. Some of them divorced, and when they got married again, they did a courthouse wedding, but they all at least had one real wedding.
I to this day don't regret my decision, if anything, I only regret not doing it completely the way I wanted. No wedding party and no one in attendance. I know some people want and love big weddings, but I've never been one of them. I don't even enjoy going to weddings, so why would I want to have one myself?
I remember going to my husband's brother's wedding, and it was huge and fancy. It was everything I'm not. The food was fancy, and in my opinion, not very good. My taste buds were not meant for that kind of fancy food. I remember being overwhelmed by the size of the wedding, and I remember being excited to leave. We had to go to Pittsburgh, and we were allowing someone my MIL knew to watch our son. I already didn't feel comfortable leaving him, and then to top it off, I was stuck somewhere with way too many people.
The only wedding I remember enjoying was my best friend's wedding. He had it at the zoo. It was smaller, with only close friends and family. We got to enjoy hanging out at the zoo for an hour before the wedding started, and kids were allowed, so I have pictures of my son wearing a suit at the zoo. The food wasn't fancy, but it was good. I knew most of my friend's guest list, so it was more like hanging out instead of feeling overwhelmed and out of place. It was the only time in my life I can remember going to a wedding and genuinely having fun.
I have always thought big weddings were a waste of money, especially if you're going into debt for it. I can understand some people like being the center of attention. They want to share their love with everyone, but to go into debt to do it has always baffled me. My husband and I went straight to the courthouse, bought cheap wedding bands, and went to Arby's after for dinner. We joke that Arby's is the fancy fast food, and we were celebrating. The following Saturday, my sister threw the party for us and my mom. I didn't want any part of it, but agreed to it because it made my sister happy to think she was doing something for us. It has never been about the wedding for me; it has always been about the marriage. It's not wrong to want a big wedding, but it wasn't for me, and it never will be. I told my sister that if I regretted it, which I knew I wouldn't, we could renew our vows. Nearly 9 years of marriage (we have been together for 17 years but married for almost 9), and I still don't regret not having a big wedding, and I never will. Anyone who thought I would clearly doesn't understand my personality. I am a very low-maintenance person; I want very little in life. I don't wear makeup, I don't wear dresses ( hate dresses), and I don't do fancy things with my hair. It takes me less than 20 minutes to get ready to leave the house, so the idea that I'd want to put a bunch of effort into having a wedding where I have to do all of the things I hate seems very opposite of who I am, and anyone that really knows me would know that.
4 people like this
4 responses
@celticeagle (192489)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Jul
I have had four marriages and never had a fancy wedding. I think that a couple should choose what they want to do and save for it. Different people have different ideas and desires. It is a important day so I guess that should be a part of the evaluation too.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (13364)
• United States
18 Jul
I guess I never viewed the day itself as an important day; half of the time, I forget when I was married and forget our anniversary, because the day itself just marks the first day of a marriage, and while that is important, the marriage itself isn't marked by one day but all of the days that follow. Every hard moment, every struggle, every moment of joy. The day I got married was just another day; it was what I had to do to get it out of the way so I could start my marriage. I hate events like that, so for me it was stressful and not something I viewed as overly important. It was a day we agreed to start our marriage, which, yes it's important, but it wasn't something I looked forward to. I saw it as something to get out of the way so I could spend the rest of my life with my husband. It's hard to put into words exactly what I mean, but as someone who despises being the center of attention and having to get up and repeat words in front of people, even if it's only a few, it wasn't something I wanted to view as the most important step of my marriage. Some people love being the center of attention, and they want a big wedding, which is great if they can afford it, but I always think about how much debt some people start their lives with, and it seems crazy to me. I have been in weddings, and I've gone to weddings, both things I hated. In my case, other people cared more about my wedding than I did. I wasn't asking people to take a day off from work to watch me get married, and I wasn't asking for any sort of attention; I just wanted to get the certificate signed so I could start my married life. My husband didn't care what we did. He was just along for the ride.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (13364)
• United States
19 Jul
@celticeagle I think some people really want to remember their big day, and I get that, but what I don't understand is why you would want to pay for one day for a long time after it's over. I'm still married 9 years later and love my husband, but it's not always easy.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (192489)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Jul
@sissy15 .......Pretty much the same for me too. Some women are just the opposite. I almost feel sorry for them. I never got that much out of marriage so the beginning was never special to me.
I so agree on the debt thing. Why do that?
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (125195)
• United States
19 Jul
I think a lot of it depends on milestones you’ve already had. You and your husband had a son together, and that’s a much bigger deal than a wedding. So I think that bode well for you that you never wanted a big wedding to begin with. I always thought it would be fun to get married in my dad’s hometown church. To give you an idea, only about 50 people can fit in that church, and his family nowadays is up to 320 people. I’d only invite the bare minimum.
MEANWHILE, my sister had seven bridesmaids (I was her maid of honor), and they finally paid their wedding off two years after being married. Now, I’m not going to criticize because they currently have no debt and a paid off mortgage, but still, that’s two years of paying off something that lasted such a short time. And my dad didn’t give her a dime. Not because he didn’t want to, but because my health problems were drowning them in debt.
Now that I’m at my current age, I’d like to get my dad, sister, her family, and whatever poor soul that wants to marry me, and go to Vegas. 
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (13364)
• United States
19 Jul
I will never judge someone for the way they want to get married, but I also don't always understand it. My brain just can't comprehend wanting to spend that kind of money on one day. You can have big weddings and still save money by doing a lot of things yourself. I was a bridesmaid at my sister's second wedding and a flower girl at her first wedding. She had larger weddings, but they were more cost-friendly because she did a lot of stuff herself. If I were going to go in debt for something, I think I'd rather it be a honeymoon than a wedding.
My family comes from a long line of preachers and churchgoers. My grandma's grandfather, who raised her, was a minister and founded two churches in southern Ohio. They are out in the middle of nowhere. I have a picture of the churches; they're tiny, and one has outhouses in the back for the bathrooms. I looked them up to see if they were still in operation, and they appear to be. I don't think I'd want to have a wedding there, even if I wanted a wedding. They interest me, but I don't want to get married there. My grandma's grandfather was also not the greatest human, despite being a preacher. He was a member of the KKK, this was back in the day when that kind of thing was much more common. My grandma would have had him rolling in his grave years later when she befriended a black man. Needless to say, I really wouldn't want to have a wedding in a place that had that kind of history. The churches still fascinate me, as does the family history, but I can only hope that they now see things differently. Rural areas in Ohio are predominantly white, so I doubt I'd see a black person at one of those churches, but I hope if one wanted to join, they wouldn't exclude them. I have found it odd that oftentimes it seems like churches segregate themselves with there being white churches and black churches. I never fully understood this and would love to see more integrated churches. I know it's probably not intentional, but it's still odd to me.
1 person likes this
@Letranknight2015 (52731)
• Philippines
17 Jul
None of my siblings had a fancy or grand wedding. One got wed in the court, the other became part of the multi couple wedding ceremony. None of them had the church wedding, because mom opposed to their partners before.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (13364)
• United States
19 Jul
My mom loves birthday parties, and she just had her 80th birthday party last year. I guess different people just like to celebrate differently. I haven't had a birthday party since I was in my teens, nor do I want one. Back then, I just wanted to hang out with my friends.
1 person likes this
