Fighting with my kids to get them to sleep

United States
December 13, 2006 11:20am CST
I have two girls, ages 3 1/2 and 6 1/2. They share a room together because they want to. However, every night bedtime is a battle. Getting them into bed is not a problem. It's getting them to go to sleep. My 6 yoa takes a little while to go to sleep and in the meantime, does what she can to stir up trouble. She'll sit up and make hand gestures or whisper or whatever that upsets her litle sister. The 3 yoa gets insomnia like her dad. She'll stay awake in their for almost 2 hours sometimes. She isn't usually fussing, but she'll find lots of reasons to get up or just yell out that she can't sleep after laying quietly for a few minutes. She does seem to be genuinely trying, but just can't sleep. They drive me crazy. Do you have suggestions?
6 people like this
55 responses
@1grnthmb (2055)
• United States
14 Dec 06
What worked for us was to be very consistent. They have to go to bed every night at the same time seven days a week. We also read to them right before bed. It relaxed them and made them ready. We never had to fight with them to get them to go to bed. Also do not let them have sugar within two hours of bed time. Longer would be better. It could also be that they just do not need as much sleep. Our two oldest (who are now 14) have always needed a lot of sleep. At least ten hours. The youngest needs a lot less sleep. Eight hours is her limit. If you put her to bed early she will just be up earlier the next morning. She has been like this since she was 6. Try to find out what your kids sleep requirements are and adjust their bed time accordingly.
1 person likes this
@_hope_ (3902)
• Australia
13 Dec 06
Due to the fact i have five children they have always shared rooms and the re was so much trouble getting them to sleep but in the end i found that the routine of reading them a story and then putting their favourite music on for them to listen to did the trick they had to be quiet enough to be able to listen to it and each night the other child would choose the nights music .I wish you well
• India
13 Dec 06
i m sorry to say this , i know its not good. but sometimes a slap works very well, when things go outof control.
@momto2 (471)
• United States
14 Dec 06
Slap your child because they won't go to sleep? That sounds a bit harsh. :o/
@123mosco (629)
• Nigeria
14 Dec 06
ask god to help u and u need to pray 4 some time it is not normal.
@loopie (123)
• United States
14 Dec 06
God is not always the answer. He's not gonna lean down from the heavens and whisper in your ear "OK YOU NEED TO DO THIS" I hate when people leave these types of comments like their worthwhile.
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
13 Dec 06
I think the easiest thing would be to separate them if that's a possibility. If it's not a possibility I would put the younger one to bed a half hour or so before the 6 yo. This way the one that seems to be trying to sleep can get to sleep peacefully without the other one disturbing her. If your older child wakes her up when she goes to bed I would have a predetermined punishment (that she understands before going to her room) and then you have to enforce it with consistency. I have two girls that share a room and I understand how hard this is! It's not fun and I've noticed that the more stressed that I get the more emotions get heightened and then no one sleeps! Best of luck to you!
• United States
13 Dec 06
Oh, in the past we have also worked with putting their beds on opposite sides of the room with barriers set up so they can't see each other (like dressers by their heads). This works as long as they don't decide to get out of bed.
@Bayleigh (141)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Super Nanny - Nanny Jo
I love SuperNanny Jo, and just this weeks episode had a family with that same problem. They had 2 girls sleeping in the same room, and the older one was a terror to get to sleep. She would get up out of bed and do whatever she could to stay up. I dont kno what your responses to them are, but if you just keep returning her to bed and not saying anything to her about what she is doing then she might see that its not really getting her the attention she is desiring. In most cases its just for attention, and if you respond in a positive way then she might too. Dont yell at her from another room in anger, just let her do her hand gestures and all, and if she gets up out of bed, calmly go in there state that its time for bed and put her back in it. Its not going to happen in one night, just like anything else she needs conditioning. I know its easier to let them get away with things, Im sure your tired as well, but you have to be consistant and firm with her. Give it a try, and watch more SupperNanny and Nanny 911, I think they have really good tips for parents. Check this Link out it came from Nanny 911.....http://www.fox.com/nanny911/bedtime.htm its some pointers for bedtime troubles Good Luck!
@Danniet (376)
• United States
14 Dec 06
I had this problem, still do sometimes but for me it's the other way around. My four year old is always tormenting my seven year old. I put them to bed earlier and that helped a little. I told them if they were going to stay up two hours after bedtime then bedtime would have to be even earlier ( I put them in bed normally 9:30 I set it back to 8:00) that settled it down a bit so I moved their bedtime back to normal. Another part of it I think is just sibling rivalry so my seven year old is getting her own room, she needs that privacy.
@EagleEyes (646)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Maybe you could put them to bed at different times if they are keeping each other awake. I realize you said they share the same room, so it may be hard for them for a while but maybe you could put your 3 1/2 year old in like an hour before the 6 1/2 year old and see if that works. Perhaps they could read a book at bedtime, maybe this will make them tired and sleepy and they will fall asleep reading.
• United States
13 Dec 06
I tried putting them to bed at different times, but it didn't work. They already go to bed at 8pm so it cuts into the evening to go much earlier. Also, whoever goes to bed first just lays there waiting for their sister to come in. I also tried the reading before bed. If they were in separate rooms, that might work for the oldest child, but the little one can't read and, while she'll look at books for a 1/2 hour sometimes, she eventually gets bored and gets up wanting something else. Thanks for the good suggestions, though.
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
13 Dec 06
I was going to suggest putting the younger one to bed first and letting her get to sleep and spending just a little one on one with the older girl, but it sounds like, with the insomnia, the six year old should go to bed and get to sleep and then she will not be able to bug little sister. I guess my idea is to give them separate bedtimes, which ever way works for you. I read somewhere this year that you should put your child to bed within two hours of eating, because of the digestive cycle. If you go more than two hours the sleep hormones are replaced by hunger pangs. It might be worth a try to have a bedtime snack. Try a warm bath, and maybe even warm socks on the feet to help with the insomnia. It has been proven to help in some instances.
• United States
13 Dec 06
I've never heard about the going to bed after eating. That's interesting. We usually eat at 6pm and they go to bed at 8pm so I guess they're just outside the 2 hours by the time they lay down to sleep. Thanks for the ideas. I might try the warm socks--that's a new one, too.
@cheongyc (5072)
• Malaysia
14 Dec 06
I am not sure how is your lifestyle or their habit before getting them to sleep. Just want to know if they had slept a lot in the afternoon? You know, if you want to sleep sound in the night, you shoul minimize the nap in the afternoon. Besides, diet and adequate exercize should help them to sleep well too. I suggest, before sleep, read them bed time story or get them do some simple & relax mind teaser. It would slowly hypnotize them to sleep. Drinking some milk might help (it really depends on your body type, it may not work for some people).
@iAlicia (758)
• United States
18 Dec 06
Well if you want it... here's my 2 cents! :)
@arshad99 (26)
• India
14 Dec 06
make them sleep in seprate rooms
• United States
18 Dec 06
something seems to be keeping them up. Are there lights on or off, noise in the background, and what are other people doing in the house at the same time? Has this been going on for awaile or is this a new behavior? Slapping them worked in the old days, but positive reinforcement has always proven more effective than punishment. You might wat to look at possible medical issues as well. Sometimes teeth growing or falling out can cause sleep problems. My bet would be somewhere along the line sleep patterns may have gotten mixed up. If they are not sleeping at night, when are they sleeping? I would not let them sleep for an entire day (keep busy) until they start to fall a sleep naturally and not as a group (individually), but somewhere around bedtime. Set rules such as no food or drink 2 hours before bedtime and most importantly chart the times they go to bed and when they wake up so if a professional is required, you will have the information to present to them. Offer rewards for each child that sleeps through the night.
@yonu15 (807)
• Romania
23 Dec 06
But why don`t you let them to sleep when they want.You go to sleep when you want, and everybody is happy!!
• India
14 Dec 06
really nice one but it all happens so dont worry as if they feel sleepy then only they sleep and until they dont.
@hcprasad (1012)
• India
14 Dec 06
Give a little bit more food and make her to sleep immediately after food.
@loopie (123)
• United States
14 Dec 06
I just usually pop in a tape or dvd and let it play, Something that has lots of soft sounds and music, cinderella or sometimes Sound Scapes and dreamscapes work nicely.
• India
14 Dec 06
I have a solution may be you can try this. Don't allow your kids to sleep during daytime and if they feel sleepy then try divert their mind. In starting you will find it difficult but its possible. And try that the girls are physically tired themselves by playing, etc. Due to this they will be fast asleep at night.
• India
14 Dec 06
kids/........r always very brisk to handle
@cclay34 (486)
• United States
14 Dec 06
We had the same problem with our little boy, He would lay in bed for 2 -3 hours some times before he would finaly fall to sleep. We couldnt figure out why until I started asking questions at his daycare center and found out that the children were being allowed to take naps at daycare for up to 2 - 2 1/2 hours. Well naturaly he couldnt sleep right away when he went to bed because he had taken such a long nap. Maybe you should talk to the daycare and ask them to shorten his nap to 30 - 45 minutes and no more