Should the Parents be blamed for the bad things that their Children do?

Philippines
December 15, 2006 5:37pm CST
Should the parents be blamed?
16 people like this
58 responses
@Jshean20 (14362)
• Canada
16 Dec 06
I think that the behavior of a child can sometimes be "blamed" on the parent but this is not always the case. I've seen many kids who grew up around a good influence and well mannered parents and yet they still have foul mouths (because of what they learn from other children at school, etc). In some cases though, where a child is violent because they see this at home, then yes it is the parents fault.
2 people like this
• Philippines
16 Dec 06
Very well said! Well I guess you've summed it up. I just hope that parents should raise their child with responsibility because their children are their legacy and contribution to the world!
@abhisree (521)
• India
19 Dec 06
i agree completely!!it depends from situation to situation..sometimes its parents and sometimes the children are themselves to blame..
• United States
27 Dec 06
Well shoot, you took the words right out of my mouth. A parent can only do so much and to some extent should be held accountable for children of a certain age that behave inappropriately.
@caramello (4381)
• Australia
15 Dec 06
There is an amount of responsibility a parent has with regards to their children, but sometimes children from well upbringing homes fall off the rails, so it makes it hard when the best has been done, but this still happens!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Dec 06
I agree on this, I just hope that someday if I would be a parent, my children would be easy to handle. I have yet to sort out myself, so when I have children in the future they would look up to me as their role model.
• Pakistan
17 Dec 06
i too agree in terms of religion its the same they will b held accountable or b awarded for u bad or good deeds respectively but after all being said it depends on u
1 person likes this
@emisle (3823)
• Ireland
27 Dec 06
I think that there is only so much a parent can do. Some children just seem to have a bad streak in them can can be affected how their parents raise them.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
16 Dec 06
It depends on the age of the child. If they're under eighteen, I would say yes, because the parents are responsible for teaching them right from wrong, but over eighteen, the parents are no longer responsible, as the child is of age. So, in the case of over eighteens.. no. In the cast of under eighteens.. yes.
• Philippines
17 Dec 06
That may be true, but then how about if the parents have abused their child one way or the other while they were young. As they grow old this would have affected them psychologically. So now they are adults and does bad things to other people. Are the parents to blame?
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
17 Dec 06
To an extent, yes, but one would hope that the child would abhor the abuse so much that they would make up their mind not to treat others in the same way. Also, if they're of an age that they can make their own way in the world, then they will know when they're doing wrongly and can get help. They can't go on blaming their parents for their actions for the rest of their lives.
• United States
17 Dec 06
I think deff parents are about 75% to blame for there children,I know what i have seen how parents have "molded " there children.. I have seen fathers teach there boys to fight..and parents that sit on there arses while god knows where theer children are,or spend no time at all with them..or ignore them and they end up beign bad just for attention..then theer are the children that i think are honestly born bad..i have seen it..
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Than you for sharing this with us. This is really sad, but it is true that these things happen. There are some parents who would care less about their children. I also don't believe that there are children who are born bad. Everybody is born with a good nature. It is the upbringing that really matters. And, the parents have a large part in this. Thank you and have a nice day to all of you.
@_Greeneye_ (1526)
• India
17 Dec 06
yes ofcourse this is responsibility of every parents to stop their children
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
So even if they are old, the parents are responsible for their children. And as you said, they should stop their children from doing wrong deeds. Did I get your message right?
@RAMPersona (2036)
• Philippines
17 Dec 06
partly i guess. what a parent can do is to be a good role model and supportive to his/her child, but not neccessarily consenting.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Thank you for your ideas. I also agree that parents must be good role models to their children. What did you mean about the consenting parents? Can you expound further on this?
• United Arab Emirates
17 Dec 06
yes thy can be since thy are the parents...and besides even friends can also b a bad influence!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Thank you for your thoughts. I just hope that as parents, they should be good example to their children so that at a young age, their children wold follow their good example and be good citizens of the society.
@ahalapia (944)
• United States
17 Dec 06
That depends at what age they do it. I don't think that a parent should be held accountable for everything that one of there adult children do, as the saying goes "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". But as the parent of a minor child there has to be some sort of supervision, and rules that children should learn to live by, but then again a parent cannot be responsible for everything there children do be it a minor child or an adult one.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Most of the responders here believe that when children are still young and they do bad things, the parents are accountable. But when they are adults, it is no longer possible to blame the parents. but there is an exception for abused children. But for you, you seem to believe otherwise? Are you really firm that these small kids are somewhat responsible for heir actions?
• Finland
17 Dec 06
Yes, they are responsable, but at some point blamed together with their kids.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Dec 06
So I guess that you are saying that both parents and children are to be blamed right?
1 person likes this
@mfrancq (1808)
• United States
16 Dec 06
Of course. The parents are the ones raising them, and teaching them right from wrong. I read a discussion on this site the other day where this man was shopping and some kid just went and bit the heck out of his arm. The mother saw the kid and said absolutely nothing. She just continued to look around and shop and then walked away. Now tell me, what did that teach that child?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Dec 06
Well I guess your right. But sometimes as people grow older and more matured, they have to take responsibility for their actions right?
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Dec 06
No, not really. Maybe for the conduct for them, when they are a young child. But later on, this child is an adult, and must take responsiblity for themselves, and make the right choices. Parents do the best they can. Or, most do anyway. They aren't perfect, but they do love their children and try to do the right thing by them. Adult children should not blame parents for anything.
• Philippines
16 Dec 06
So you mean that only the children below 18 have the right to blame their parents for their actions. I guess you have a point. But sometimes, those parents who have abused their children in one way or the other have caused their children such emotional and psychological trauma that even in adulthood it still haunts them.
• United States
17 Dec 06
Oh yes, you are right about the abused kids. I was talking in general. And, I also was refering to pre puberty.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
When you say adult children, you mean that these are the children over eighteen. Does this mean that at this age, the parents are no longer accountable for them?
• United States
16 Dec 06
Parenting - a full time job
While I do think that parents play a huge role in their children's actions, there are instances where the parent can try their hardest to be the best influence possible and the child still turns out to be a bad apple. Sometimes I think you cannot control the destiny of another.
• Philippines
16 Dec 06
It's true that we can't control the destiny of the other but we can surely influence them right? Everyone makes their own destiny do you believe in this?
• United States
27 Dec 06
You explained it better than I did. You are right.
• United States
17 Dec 06
It depends on what the child has done. Even though they say a child is a representation of their parents.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Having said that parents are a representation of their kids, why would you still put it on a per situation basis? Isn't it an absolute things for very young kids?
@stvasile (7316)
• Romania
17 Dec 06
Yes, to some extent, but from an age on children must take the blame of their own deeds
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
So I guess you are one of the believers that there is a certain age where children must take the blame for their own deeds. Thank you very much for your response!
@balabrahmam (1074)
• India
16 Dec 06
yes parents are blamed with their children are doing wrong things but they did not explain what is wrong what is correct if they doing like that children are not done first ofall parents are no taking care n children i their young age if they take proper care they must be did not worry about children
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Even though you sentence was quite long but I understood the jist of what you are saying. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts with us. Have a nice day!
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I have two kids and at times my daughter acts out and I feel that I am to blame for most of her actions. I have attitude and my daughter learned it from me. Parents need to take the step and admit to this. We are the main reasons. Our children learn from us.
• Philippines
17 Dec 06
That is so nice of you to be honest about this. I just hope that most parents would realize that they have a big responsibility in being role models at least in front of their kids. If you really can't help doing unlikely things then better do it somewhere else just not infront of the kids. They might bring these attitudes as they grow old.
@nanhegujral (4634)
• India
16 Dec 06
There is not all the things in the hands of parents.. Always parents would like there child to be a good person and they try there level best and that is why parents should not be blamed in every case.
• Philippines
16 Dec 06
I agree with you. But is this always the case? What if the children are very young like 5 years old. And they do bad things in school. Is it the child's fault or the parents are to be blamed for this?
@santaram (1422)
• India
16 Dec 06
no parents will take care children to thier best they new what children should do but without thier notice what was happen we cant blame them
• Philippines
17 Dec 06
Yes parents do take care of their children the best they can, I have no objections on that. But what about the parents who have abused their children, early in their childhood. This could have caused some psychological trauma. As a result these children do bad things to other people. Are the parents to blame?
@RitaS8 (384)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I believe it goes on a case by case basis, but at some point, children have to grow up and be adults and take responsibility for their own actions. It's life and how things are. I also don't think parents, if "to blame", should take all the blame. Again, we all have to take responsibility for our own actions. No one forces us to make the decisions that we make.
• Philippines
16 Dec 06
Is this still applicable to young children? Yes they make their own decisions but these decisions are still very immature ones and still need guidance from the parents. Don't you think that in these young ages, the parents should be held responsible?
16 Dec 06
I don't think the parents are to be blamed for the mistakes of their children. The children make their own choices, so they have to be responsible for them. Although in some cases sometimes we have to see the family background because they might have done something that could have influenced the child's psychological development.
• Philippines
16 Dec 06
I do hope that when I become a parent, I would be a good example and role model to my children. I would treat them well so I would not cause any psychological trauma that they could bring even in adulthood.