How do you deal with a back stabbing person?

@SexyMhei (153)
Philippines
January 29, 2007 10:58pm CST
I don't know how else to call this person, who acted okay when around us then when she talked with other person she will start telling hurtful words against us. I know she doesn't like any of my family. Despite of the facts that my family helped her out with her kids and the expenses she only see our bad side. She hated my mother in law because she nags, and so does my quiet father in law who is a staunch defender of his beliefs. She called us hypocrite when I think it is she who is an hypocrite! Imagine, she is telling her colleague that she doesn't like me either just because I have a close relationship with my in laws and said that I'm just like that because I wanted their favors! She even told our other sister-in-law that I irritate her because I'm too dependent on my husband who treats me like a princess! I wanted to confront her but I don't know how. Have you encounter people like her? How do you deal with this kind of person?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@wrdsofwisdm (1070)
• United States
30 Jan 07
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. First of all I have to tell you that the people running to you and telling you what she is saying should not be doing so and should be telling her they do not want to here her talking badly about you. Now that I got that out of the way...You could invite her over and see how she behaves and then before she leaves you culd tell her that you were so sad to hear all the bad things she has been saying behind your back and that unfortunately she is not the person you thought she was but you wish her the best and bye bye...then shut the door on her and lock it. You don't need toxic people in your life.
@SexyMhei (153)
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
I wish I could shut the door on her, unfortunately, we live in the same house, under the roof of our in laws; her family and me and my husband which makes the matter worst. Before, we go to work together, since we work in the same institution, and she would tell me all the things she hates about my in laws. No amount of explanation I gave her convinced her that they want only the good things for them. Then in the end, I learned she hated me too. That's despite of the fact that my husband also helps in looking after her lovely children. She has something against everyone of us, including the teenage niece of my husband.
• United States
30 Jan 07
Then maybe you all can do an intervention. You all can sit her down and take turns talking to her without ganging up on her to find out what she is so upset about. Maybe that could help.
• United States
11 Aug 08
I just had to kick out someone much like this who's lies almost got my fiance attacked! Best advice I can give is to sever all ties with her otherwise the cycle will continue.
• United States
24 Jan 08
Well if I HAD to deal with her, it would probably come to me confronting her infront of her accusers.It may not be her at all, but the other people trying to come between the two of you.I would try not to make her feel threatened, that would just add fuel to the fire.Maturely ask her if she said these things and the reason behind it, and if the two of you can resolve the matter like adults.
@tuffy999 (794)
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
back stabbers are insecure people. they project themselves as holier than thou but the truth of the matter they are a bunch of pathetic individuals. stay away from them. they are a waste of your time. you're better off without them.
• United States
3 Feb 07
I have dealt with a lot of backstabbing people and the only advice that I can really recommend that really helps is to cut off all contact with her. She obviously can say nothing good about your family, and seems only to be using you for the help you provide. Drop her, fast.