Today i feel sad at how people are quick to pull the trigger.

@yanjiaren (9050)
March 5, 2007 9:17am CST
Most of you all know that at the weekend i am usually busy and cannot mylot as i have also a family and responsibilites. This weekend was exceptionally frustrating and difficult with a lot of technical issues my hubby and me could not address, which might means my hubby might have to fork out a lot of money to purchase another computer. My character was maligned by one fellow mylotter allbecause i could not yet reply to his post and he accused me of posting a discussion just to get responses. You may look at the post re incest i posted just a few days ago. I was accustrying to drum up a post just to get responses and that i had unfounded evidence. I have just now after a VERY STRESSFULL weekend got to do some mylotting and i have posted a link for him to view the story..from an excerpt from the independent. I don't need to drum up stories just to get a response. If people want to respond that's fine,if not that's also fine. What upsets me is that i have been downratedand judged without even given the chance. I have worked really hard hereon mylot, especailly responding to other's discussions and helping as much as i can. I actually post less discussions as time goes on togive others a chance. I worked hard for that 10 and just to have one person come and accuse me blindly i think that is unfair and i am stating my cause here. I also have a right to defend my honour. and he has a right to slander me with no cause. II will not take it layikng down. I did that too much in the past. I do want to say thankyou to the mylotters that have supported me and i never mind when people disagree with me as i love debate. But personal attacks on my character that are unfounded i will not accept, sorry!
10 people like this
18 responses
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
5 Mar 07
My advice-- Ignore the bad apples-- I would not even respond to his response. Some people just get off by being idiots-- and mean to other people. We all have times when we're not online and for someone to rip you personally is uncalled for-- and wrong- It's times like these that I would give the person a negative-- attacks on personal character and not necessary in an online forum. Keep your chin up.. And happy posting!
@yanjiaren (9050)
5 Mar 07
thanks alot
3 people like this
@aidonia (4209)
• Greece
5 Mar 07
What is her/his problem I don't understand....Is he asking for proof to any discussions he post?I give answer at many discussion that start from a news that read or hear sooooooooooooooo,we must ask each one time proof?And if we start a discussion about -how I had a fight with my husband yesterday- i must have the fight at video for I proof that really happen?Come on all this issue is funny and you must see it from this way....Don't lose your humor now because he doesn't deserve it....Hugs and kisses....your friends know very well who you are...
3 people like this
@yanjiaren (9050)
5 Mar 07
Yes i know but it was not only being downrated it was that i was accused of something that i didn't do and THAT PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!! If i make amistake i bow my head down and i accept it, I don't accept being slandered.
3 people like this
@lols189 (4797)
5 Mar 07
i know it was not me anyway yanjiaren. am so sorry to hear this. just keep your head up and stay strong. dont worry what mindless people say. take care friend
3 people like this
• Singapore
5 Mar 07
Hello my friend, first take a deep breath and breathe out all the tension and stress. I am sure you know that there are all kinds of people in the world and sometimes, some people just love to put people down. Well, shrug them off and don't take it too hard. For that 1 person who don't like your post, I am sure there are at least 20 others who love responding. So take heart! ;-) Brighten up alright? ^^
@DavidReedy (2411)
• United States
6 Mar 07
Without knowing the details of your story... I feel your plight. However, consider these words by Jung: "So every man whose fate it is to go his individual way must proceed with hopefulness and watchfulness, ever conscious of his loneliness and its dangers."
@yanjiaren (9050)
6 Mar 07
Very lovely everyone..i did my meditation early...venting gone..i don't like to hold things in my heart and i hold no grudges but i will speak out against injustice..anyone here unjustly treated i will speak. I am not afraid of the consequences..even if my star goes down to zilch.
@remaster74 (4064)
• Greece
5 Mar 07
Ok! We have all encountered comments like that. Maybe you have to rest for a while and not to pay attention to people like that. I want you to notice that some people do start discussions that they never return to and this is frustrating for all of us.
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9050)
5 Mar 07
I always reply and plus rate my discussions..weekends is difficult for me and this weekenbd was really bad.I just didn't need the aggro..Mylot is supposed tobe a fun place to chill not to be wrongly accused. I have always tried my best here.
2 people like this
@mansha (6301)
• India
5 Mar 07
Hi Yanji Guess you had a terrible weekend-I am on a break too, its the addiction that keeps me bringing back to mylot. I have a big exam coming u so I have taken a break wrote to mylot about it two days back. Come on Yanji, do not get upset, We know how good and honest person you are and the person who misjudged you don't know you. We are not pbliged to answer anyone's psot just because they answered ours. Please make a note everyone , it does not effect in anyway on your earnings how many of us respond to your discussion. we are jusdeged basically on quality of our own responses and discussions not anyone elses. I am writing to yanji's post so I will I get paid for it and yanji's earnings are ot going to be effected in anyway. please write to mylot and confirm this. yanji so do not worry ovewr silly people and comments. rspond and post only quality stuff thats the key. I have been earning 30$ each month just by answering discussions, I post only those topics that really interest me and so many times I jsut get less than five responses but I am rated on what I write and not what everyone here thinks of me. Hope it cheers you up yanji.
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9050)
5 Mar 07
Thanks friend..it is not the money it is the reputation..i work soheard to guard my honour and i just don't like it being violated unjustly. I don'tlike the priciple of being slandered for no reason. But things are o.ki have calmed down and i don't hold grudges..only i won't keep my mouth shut where injustice is concerned. I condemn the action not the person..but whoever does these things they may be aware that it is wrong.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Mar 07
That sucks... I've rated all your stuff a plus... every time I post... even the responses. Sorry your week has been stressful and hope you get your 10 rating back soon.
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9050)
5 Mar 07
Thankyou so much..
1 person likes this
@flowerchilde (12534)
• United States
8 Mar 07
I think you are 100% right. And I always figure someone attacking me, shows a fault with them, and not with me. If I've done something to earn being attacked, I know it.. but some people just get ticked off real easy. How can this person expect to be a friend when they are being so unfriendly? And to assume someone is able to (or wants to) be on mylot every single day is, well, ridiculous. Real life does still go on too!! I think you're doing a great job! And none of us is able to please all the people all of the time.. and some folks in life you can just never please anyway! [So why try is my motto!]
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
6 Mar 07
You don't have to take this lying down, we are here for you and we all know how hard you work, some people I have noticed, just DON'T read your discussions properly, they are in such a hurry to respond that they start reading just a few lines and jump to conclusions. Personal attacks are unnecessary, sorry you had such a synchronization of events, first your weekend and now this. Chin up and let those fingers dance on the keyboard don't waste any time on insignificant people like that my friend, but that said your venting was justified
1 person likes this
@willocfc (963)
• Australia
6 Mar 07
I wouldn't let one narrow minded fool get you down, even if you were just creating posts to generate responses what would be wrong with that? isn't that the whole point of mylot? to create discussions that interest people enough to respond? And like it says in the guidelines its not necessary to reply to every response you get anyway. I know you and you always get back to your discussions and i wouldn't worry about it, your rating will be back up again in no time
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
6 Mar 07
Hello yanjiaren, after reading your post, I can certainly relate to you but in a different manner. Someone responded to my discussion, and after an hour, he move on posting one of his own with the similar theme as mine. Some others even accused me of being a racist while not trying to read everything I posted. This thing has been a constant source of a problem to us. I emphatize with you and I can feel just how upset you are. We all worked hard to earn our ratings. Its not that we like to show to other people that we got a "10." Its because we deserve it. To cheer you up, I'll rate your discussion + ,including all your other posts. Happy posting!!!
• Grand Junction, Colorado
6 Mar 07
Anyone that has been on your friends list for anytime at all knows that your not as active on the weekends, I have only been here for a little over a month and I know that. I miss not see you here on the weekends but understand that we all have a life. Also knowing you in such a short time I know that you're very actively involved in your discussions, and that you do get to them once the weekend is over. I understand where your coming from as no one likes to be judged and then to have to defend yourself especially to so called friends. I did have someone call me a cheater in a discussion that I started and I truly was offended. Had they taken the time to read what had been written they would have known what they said was false, never the less they said it and I was hurt. Let this discussion be your vent, then you will be able to move on. Unfortunately we all have to deal with these types of people from time to time, it doesn't make it right and it's no excuse, it's just reality. I hope that you're healing well tonight and will be back to your cheery self tomorrow. Put this awful person behind you. Your friends are here for you and they will support you! :)
• India
6 Mar 07
Really sometimes people just come up with one or the other lame ways to make people go down. Soome people do not care as to what their words can do they do not care who gets hurt and why. They just know how to speak and just go. You need not worry cause I believe a person like you is much more stronger than that. And also that here in this world everybody gets judged no matter what they do. And so accept it as a part of life is what I can advice, although there are some people who judge you wrong and think and show that you are wrong but that doesn't mean that you are. And the only way to fight it back is to show every body that you are right and fight your way back up. And the real victory is when you have forgiven the person who tried to hurt you cause thats what strong people do. Thank You. And take care May GOD Bless YOU
1 person likes this
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
6 Mar 07
you should have reported that guy for abuse. Who made him God and Jury? If anyone things you did anything wrong then it would be my lot admin who would take your discussion off. They haven't and you didn't do anything wrong.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (125466)
• United States
6 Mar 07
I know your character, and I do not need a link to know you posted truthfully. Sometimes when you are off myLot a day or two, your rating goes down anyway. Do not grieve yourself. We know you. It is not necessarily one person bringing you down, although I am sure he contributed. Take the high road. Be the bigger person, your star will rise again soon. Hugs
@moreinfo (3865)
• China
5 Mar 07
well, jufang, take it easy. i knew sometimes its not so easy to get so calm in such featured forums or communities. but actually nothing is that serious. you see, you got many comments here, so just have more fun here.
1 person likes this
@greengal (4286)
• United States
5 Mar 07
Oh I'm so sorry you were a victim to such attack here yanji, it is so unfair.Some people just can't tolerate it if we are doing well, they are so darn jealous. Ignore him yanji, you know better what you are and we, your good friends, know that you don't start discussions just for the heck of it. You have worked hard and deserved the 10, it's a pity its gone down. I felt so bad when mine went down too. Don't worry we'll soon get you back to the 10 with a few +s. I think more and more users are being victimized with the injudicious use of the rating system.Sigh..that's myLot, can't do anything about it but accept it. A couple of +s from me to cheer you up dear!
1 person likes this