Should mothers of 2 parent families stay home with their children

United States
October 16, 2006 9:21am CST
I personally stay home with my daughter and plan to as long as I have children. I do think that there are special circumstances when both parents need to work. But on an average, what would you RATHER do?
3 people like this
14 responses
• United States
16 Oct 06
Well, I personally, prefer to stay home. I have 4 kids and I am a stay at home mother. But if circumstances allowed I might have a job to help pay bills. It is tough right now with money. We can't afford to turn our heat one much and it is pretty cold in the house and we don't have a lot of food. Our daughter's birthday is coming up (and Christmas) but we don't have any extra money. Don't have money for our oldest daughter's girl scout uniform, either. Right now, if I could work, I would. But my husband's schedule doesn't allow it. It changes a lot and we could never afford daycare for 3 kids full day and 1 child after school. It would be pointless for me to work. It all depends on the famliy and how they want to live. I have met many women that wish they could stay home but could never afford to live their lifestyles on one income. Mostly because they have big houses and big mortgages and nice cars and take vacations every year. All things we have given up so I can stay home. We rent an apartment, have one car that is 8 years old and falling apart and have been on one vacation in the last 7 years (and that was just me and my husband flying off for a few days back in 2004).
• United States
26 Oct 06
Thank you for your response. I really do hope that things turn for the better soon! My prayers are with you.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
26 Oct 06
I have a similar problem. I wouldn't mind working if I could have something which would fit around my partners work but he works all sorts of shifts and as he is a carer, he is often asked to go in at the last minute so it would be impossible for me to get a job which fits around his work. I guess if you can do that then it's ok but no childcare provider would be prepared to take on any kids where they didn't know from one day to the next when or if they were having them.
• United States
26 Oct 06
Yep that's the big problem. You would either have to put the kids in day care everyday even if you weren't working or find some kind of flexible family memeber to just take the kids when you need it. I hate the crazy schedules.
1 person likes this
@bhchy1 (6050)
• United States
26 Oct 06
Not all two parent families can afford for the mom to stay home..they need both incomes to live. Some women choose to work, have a career, doesn't make them any less a mother..I would say setting a good example for their kids by going out and achieving what you want out life.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 06
Thank you for your great response!
• United Kingdom
26 Oct 06
Actually it does make them less of a mother if they are at work full time. Children can be taught about earning a living and everything by ne parent working and it is always possible, it's just that a lot of families don't want to make sacrifices. If it's not possible for one parent to stay at home then how can that family afford childcare?
• United Kingdom
27 Oct 06
It is always possible for one parent to stay at home in a 2 parent family. I didn't word my other bit properly up there. I didn't mean anyone is less of a mother for not looking after their own kids. What I meant was that if you choose to go to work before your kids are at school then you are neither a good or bad mother because you're just not being a mother at all. People who choose to work while their kids are under 5 are probably doing the best for their kids by puttin them in care because if they think the kids are going to be better off that way then they wouldn't make good parents but then I don't see why they had kids in the first place.
• United States
26 Oct 06
Personally, I prefer to stay home as well. I have two beatuiful little boys who are 18 months old and 6 weeks old (yes I have my hands full!) But...I would much rather raise my children with the values most important to my fiance and I. I also think it is very important to spend the time with your children, raising them yourself instead of them being raised by a daycare. I have seen both sides of the fence, My oldest son was in daycare from when he was 6 weeks old until he was almost 3 months and his attitude and schedule were all thrown off, i also found that the daycare where my son was enrolled didn't follow some of the laws for taking care of children. needless to say we pulled him right out and I've been staying home ever since. I do believe that there are certain instances though where it is necessary for both parents to work and in that case i just believe you need to be VERY selective as to who you entrust with the care of your child(ren)
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 06
Yes! Thank you for your wonderful response!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 06
not a problem at all...glad to help
1 person likes this
@Sezara (169)
• United States
26 Oct 06
I'm planning to stay at home but it's not easy with the cost of living these days. I think that the cost od daycare would make the money about the same though so I'd rather just stay home.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 06
Same here. Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
@Theresam (1180)
• United States
27 Oct 06
That helped me make the decision to stay home with the kids as well. Check out http://www.budgetdial.com/news-Apr0105.htm for a 6 month plan on how to stay home with your kids financially.
@msqtech (15075)
• United States
26 Oct 06
I think it can easily be accomplished both parents working after the kids are in school
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 06
That's a good thought also! Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
26 Oct 06
I agree with that. When all the kids are at school, that's different but before they go to school, they need at least one parent.
@indiandevil (2383)
• Canada
26 Oct 06
I choose to myself, but soon the roles will be opposite, here but thats our way of doing things I am able to make more money then my boyfriend because he can only do labour work and has to stop because of his back. so I will be the one working soon
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 06
Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
@MrsFrizzle (1964)
• United States
26 Oct 06
I think it would be nice however I do not think it is always possible.
• United States
26 Oct 06
This is true! Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
26 Oct 06
personally i think it is their choice.
• United States
26 Oct 06
That's one thought. Thank you for your response!
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
27 Oct 06
the way i look at it is why should we make choices for somebody else.
@pumpkinjam (7534)
• United Kingdom
26 Oct 06
Definitely stay at home. I've said before and I will stick to it, if people have kids, it's up to them to look after them, why have them if you don't want to look after them? One parent should stay at home but that doesn't always have to be the mother. I have no intention of going out to work until my youngest child is at school, or possibly nursery but I wouldn't have even worked while my oldest was at nursery. I think that's because my kids are very different people and I am different now but I still believe that my kids need to be with me most of the time. My baby needs me all the time and my older son needs me when he's not at school. I could never understand 2 parent families where they both work full time. I think it's usually out of material greed. There are lots of things we "miss out" on like holidays and some other luxuries but we're not really missing out because they were things we never had in the first place.
• United States
26 Oct 06
Absolutely! That was my decision since well before I ever got married. Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
@cburtz (282)
• United States
27 Oct 06
I think they should stay home too. I am a stay at home mom of 2. I think if you need to have 2 incomes then you should get different shifts so that one of you are always home with your kids. It is so important to raise your own kids. Before you know it they will be grown and gone and you can work wherever you want.
@Lisamommy (111)
• United States
27 Oct 06
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@Shenon (276)
• Singapore
27 Oct 06
i prefer stay at home...hee...
@shi_2000_21 (2681)
• India
27 Oct 06
it is depend upon the invidiaul capability, can you take on the added responsibility of your job and family. If you enjoy being at home, do what your conscince tells you.
• India
27 Oct 06
i think tht mothers should not stay at home!!! they should go out for job or for somethin else, why should this question arises for mothers why not for fathers... it is very old mentality of our society tht mothers should stay at home and take care of children.. why is it made compulsary for mothers only to ruin their life and bound themselves to all the limitations.. i think both parents should take the responsibility of their children and should be treated equally!!!!