I have finally detached from Mylot..and feel better for it.
By yanjiaren
@yanjiaren (9031)
March 21, 2007 8:51am CST
I felt I was getting too worked up and emotionally involved in mylot to the point where i was getting upset if i wasn't getting replies to my posts..Ever since I decided to post only one post a day I have really calmed down becuase I realised that the fault was with me and not with any one else. I keep reminding myself not to expect from others the high standards I expect of myself otherwise I would always feel short changed. By detaching I feel I can give more freely..at least in the way of responses and I have a renewed enthusiasm. When I am on Mylot I give it my full attention but when off it I live my other liufe to the full. Every thing must have its time and place.
I don't get miffed now if I get responses or not any more as I know nothing can be given by force and I can't ram a discussion down people's throats..Have any of you got emotionally carried away at all with Mylot at any time?
I also feel becuase I had zero self esteem for a long time and in writing I am coming out of my shell I felt I needed some acceptance and approval..Now I really don't care. I have a family that loves and accepts me and that is most important..Every thing else to me is a bonus, though I may add a few friends I have made here are very precious to me..even if I haven't met them and their kindness and love has been priceless and I value it always. I have learned alot from Mylotting..and am learning alot about my strengths and weaknesses..so if any one responds or not.I can be impartial to it and objective. I hope I can always improve in my mylotting..without expecting from others.
20 people like this
42 responses
@aidonia (4209)
• Greece
21 Mar 07
I'm glad see you feel like this.I love mylot but never I didn't feel so sad if i didn't get response as you feel.And because I know you little I'm sure the problem wasn't exactly how much post you get but if the people you believe are your friend remember you.
Live and enjoy your life and if you get few good friends from here see as a gift.With this way you will enjoy mylot more too if you get anything as a gift and not as a expectation.
You still gonna see me around.
3 people like this
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
21 Mar 07
You have to remember mylot is for fun and away to vent. We are not going to make alot of money off of it but it is away to get paid and to enjoy other people out there. I log on and have some fun my answering some discussions sometimes I post a discussion but very rarely. I like reading what other people have to say and reply. That is enough for me. I hope you start having fun with it again.
@klystron635 (1519)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
Good for you! I have several discussions with no or sometimes only one response and that doesn't bother me. Does it helped you? Anyways, I don't really recommend anyone being emotional attached to myLot because you might get crazy. You are right we can't blame others if they don't respond on our discussion. We have different likes and dislikes unfortunately our discussion or responses is included in their dislike list.
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Mar 07
thanks man..piost me your zero discussions lol..I will soon get ride of them..maybe I willgo and check them now lol!1
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
21 Mar 07
I am glad that you are feeling settled in yourself now.
You shouldn't take personally what happens on a site like this. People all have their own different lives and things on this site are never going to take priority over them.
I do try to answer discussions with no responses to help people like you who like to have lots of responses, but sometimes it is difficult to know what to say as an answer to certain types of discussion.
I am glad for you that you have a loving family. Maybe if you start a discussion about the importance of a loving family you will get a few more responses.
Good Luck
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
Yan, you know you're not the only who's fiercely attached to mylot. You remember the other day when I posted what a friend said my YELLING THREAD. I was practically smoking fire on that thread. I don't know where are all my friends are. I almost decided to quit for good then. But I realized that this is a forum. People will respond to you if they are interested in your thread. We may find a topic we posted relevant enough but others may see it as boring. We can't please everyone. We should know that we still have a life outside mylot. I had slowly adjusted myself not to be emotionally involved here. I am only too grateful that I have a few close friends who encouraged me to stay. You see, Yan, we're both the same. We're both too passionate with whatever we're doing. We give 100% of what we can do but we fall doubly hard when it is not reciprocated. What's your birth sign anyway? we seems to have this passion for life.
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Mar 07
hehe i am acapricorn with a moon in libra a leo rising and a mars and venus in aquarius and a jupiter in gemini..what about you?
in chinese astreology i am a snake with a rooster rising lol
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Mar 07
yesi forgot..iam a fire-yang..my element lol..my son's apiglol too!! hahaahha we have enopugh fire in you and me to make mylot explode lol..
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
I'm scorpion and you know what...its the most passionate sign, Too hot and too cold. Never lukewarm. My chinese astrology is pig. I'm sure its a fire pig. LOL...I'm so intense with my feelings. Too extreme, I don't know...I'm really like this.
1 person likes this
@lonely_f16 (2146)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
you deserve better you know...and I hope you get what you wished for..
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Mar 07
thanks every one..I want you all to be happy..all of us to be happy..in ourselves first..
1 person likes this
@greengal (4286)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Oh yanji that is good news and bad for us, good---because it isn't stressful for you:), I hate to see you upset and worked up...bad--coz we get to see less of you nowadays...very less:( I know how excited you've been since the time I've known you here, in fact it has always impressed me that you are always so cheerful and full of energy. I want to be like that too, it shows in your discussions:) I was once tied up that way and very easily got upset when I got no responses, but now I've passed that phase, I too realized its not good to expect from others, we will be only disappointed. When we don't expect, then what comes our way is highly appreciated:) I'm glad you took this decision yanji dear, as long as you are around I'm fine with it:)
Oh I am yet to listen to 3 of your songs, will do now...sorry..have been really caught up with so many things since last week, including the weekend..will look into it now.
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Mar 07
i will be here..with my one a day and at least fifty responses on a weekday lol..don';t worry can't get rid of the fireball that easily lol.
@monkeykingaround (896)
• United States
22 Mar 07
I never feel like you did, my friend. I only came here if I have nothing else to do. If I wanted to find out the answer to something I will post, but other than that I don't. I am in my other world. Right now I am trying to create a template for Joomla. I am bored. So I came here to get a rest and go back there again after this. I only write a couple of reply a day. That's enough. Don't need to stress out about this. I also have a forum to take care of. Some blogs to write. If you have writer block, you come here and read what other wrote and hopefully you'll get an idea. Mylot is a high priority for me.
1 person likes this
@sweetlady10 (3611)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Glad to know that you are feeling better now. It is always good for us to get a thik skin and take easy if someone don't fulfil our expectations. Hope you will enjoy more now on Mylot. You are a good member of Mylot. Happy posting and Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Mar 07
thanks sweetie..looks like we were both posting in each other discussion's at the same time lol
@34momma (13882)
• United States
21 Mar 07
You learnd a valuable lesson because of mylot. one I learned a few years ago. everything is not about me, and everything is not to be taken personal. because someone doesn't do what you want them to do when you want them to do it doesn't equal something is wrong with me. it is a hard lesson to learn but a very good one. I have gained patiences and a calm with myself by learning such a powerful lesson. good for you honey
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Mar 07
thanks my friend..we learn something new every day...and I think it isn't bad to say we make a mistake and stuffed up somewhere is it lol?
@hopefoo (1145)
• Malaysia
21 Mar 07
Hey hey!! I AM BACK! To reply to your posts!
Okay, I know what you mean about not getting any responses. But maybe it's because you have set such a high standard for not just everyone else but yourself as well. I mean, your posts are all well written and attract some of the best MyLotians to reply to your posts. I am so sorry for not being around and posting replies to your post. Sometimes I log on to see what's up but not reply.
As for your posts, I must say that some of it are really "deep" and let's face it, I'm shallow. Hahaha :) Good Luck YanJiaRen Jie. Bie Fang Qi!!
1 person likes this
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
I read yesterday a discussion from a member here in mylot. He post their that he is very happy because he receive 2nd earnings from mylot which is $20. I was kind of frustrated when i see his number beside his name which means he got only like 400 plus of respond from all the topics here and he receive twice earnings with that amount???And me, i have posted like 800 plus and i just only receive once of $10???Nooooooooo!!!Grrrrrrrr!!! I ask myself why i just earned this way...
And like you everytime i post topic here,and no one replies or only 2, i feel bad on it. Maybe, i expect too much in here. I guess you are right, we must detached ourself once in a while from here or stop expecting too much so that, we dont feel disappointments or any bad feelings anymore.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I think we will always expect some things from others because we are only human and we have needs from others. I am glad that you have come to terms with the Mylot ways though. I know it can be very frustrating sometimes. I have also learned alot here and I just roll with the flow here daily and I try to set aside time to get more things done during the day around the house too. I used to be so worried about how many responses and posts I made every day. We are only human and we can only do and expect so much from ourselves.
1 person likes this
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
22 Mar 07
It's great that you have seen for yourself that the fault belonged with you and not with anyone else, it's a bit like not being able to see the forest from the trees, when you step back you see the picture a lot clearer, and I am sure that you must feel a lot better about yourself. I myself have not been here that long but have seen some discussions where people have got quite nasty with one another, really they don't know that person personally and would probably never meet them on the street so why get upset they are only responding (or not responding as the case may be) to a discussion, thats what discussions are all about, trying to get as many varied opinions as you can.
1 person likes this
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Good for you! It's so good to enjoy something rather than stress over it. And I would hate to see you give up on mylotting!! As you would be sorely missed! You always do a good job. Have fun!
:))
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Mar 07
thanks man..it's like any relationship..you adjust and work around it to improve and perfect it..
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
21 Mar 07
When I first joined mylot I didnt know what to expect. I always have this attitude that if they resopnd great if not well thenthat is fine too. T dont worry about whether or not I get responses. Eventually someone will look at my profile and see the discussion and find it intresting and respond to it..
Mylot is saposed to be a place of fun and a place to be serious. You just have to decide which discussions are serious and which ones are fun.
1 person likes this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
22 Mar 07
Hi yan, I am glad you have managed to get to this place of detaching yourself emotionally from myLot. I had the same problem the first few weeks. In fact, it was an obsession to be on myLot everyday. I was also too emotionally attached and I got real uptight about comments and expecting too much. However, I came to a point where I experienced something like a writer's block. I just couldn't think of what to reply, what to discuss and I was so frustrated. Finally, I had to take a few days off and when I finally came back here, I actually felt refreshed and more sane, lol. I believe my perspective has gone back to normal and I don't worry so much about earnings, whether people have negative comments or otherwise. Even if I have very few responses, I don't get upset. I just take it in my stride. So, I just have fun and share what I can. I also appreciate all the friends I have made here - it has widened my horizons and I have learned a few things from the sharings of people here, including yours.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
21 Mar 07
Nah... I am more and more tired of myLot. I don't rule out myself leaving myLot for good. So many limitations, so little money, so few answerable discussions, slow speed and down for maintenance so often (I am typing your response in notepad again since the site is down at this time of writing). You have a honey hubby - that's more than enough. Be satisfied alright, barbie? :P
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
21 Mar 07
heheh don't go man..we will miss you..how will i ever learn singlish lah? i can swear in hokkien though..you wanna dose of it lol..? hahahahahaha
@tzvetelina (467)
• Bulgaria
22 Mar 07
Everything works perfectly when you're well-organised and figured out every single step in front of you. You should make a little calculations - how much you wish to write per day,how much time you have and how much you are actually able to do. See if the numbers match. If not may be you want to go too high or you're heading to a lower level.
1 person likes this
