Now that I have broken up...How do I move on?

Philippines
April 5, 2007 5:42am CST
Breaking up from a relationship is truly tough, but recovering from the break-up and moving on is even harder, especially if you truly loved the person so much. How did you survive these hard times? It only has been three days. It already seems like forever? What can you advise me?
9 people like this
22 responses
@abdi_708 (133)
• United States
5 Apr 07
yes i feel you its so hard to forget that . i m so sorry cuz i cant help you about relationships .
2 people like this
• Philippines
19 Apr 07
It is really not about forgetting the relationship but accepting that its over. As of now I am still trying to save the relationship, and I guess you could say that I am still in the stage of denial. When I am ready I will be in the stage of acceptance and try to move on.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Apr 07
Breaking up a relationship is always hard, especially if you spent a considerable amount of time in the relationship. The best thing you can do is the moments you start thinking of the sad things in the relationship to start doing something else, to make a phone call to a friend, to go for a walk to work out the issues in your head, but whatever you do, you need to get out and get moving. We have a tendency when we are going through a breakup to want to stay in bed and have life stop for us, but we need to do exactly opposite of what our body and mind wants, the best thing you can do right now is spend time with your friends, people that understand what you are going through. It is not the end of a life, but the end of your life with that person and although it may be hard in the beginning it will get easier as there is more time to deal with the breakup. I wish you the best.
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Apr 07
Thank you very much for wishing me the best. I could not think of the bad things in the relationship because I do not want to go bitter. I would rather think of the happy ones because they are really more than the bad ones and just hope that I could find some more of these memories still with that person or with a new one hopefully better than the past. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@kiiizu (1901)
• Estonia
5 Apr 07
Breaking up isn't easy and it can hurt badly. Almost everybody has to face it at least once in his/her life. I guess, all who aren answering you there have, and see - they are still alive. The fact doesn't help you very much at the moment, though. My recepy to survive hard times and any kind of problems is to be in the nature, to walk alone. Woods are working wonder with me, always. Praying and/or meditation. Reading, but nothing very serious, just for entertaining - at the moment you have to avoid romances, of course! The same advice about the movies - perhaps a good mystery will do? Or go to a gym and train there so hard that you'll be too tired to think about anything, incl. your problem, and your muscles are hurting so much next day, that it makes you to forget hour heartache, if only for a while... I hope, you'll find a recepy what suits you. It may be hard to believe for you yet but time is a very good doc, it heals all wounds.
• Philippines
8 Apr 07
I think I will just have to stick it out with your last recipe which is to let time heal my wounds. I do hope that it would not take long because it is really hard to go on day by day remembering the person that you love and you must let go.
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10665)
• United States
5 Apr 07
Someone becomes as EX for a reason. So mourn for the relationship and not the person being gone. It is harder for men as a rule and now you should take care of yourself. Time is relative and maybe you should get out and do some things you like or try something new to give you a new start for a better life. It will take time, so you just need to keep moving, working, chores, and living. Things will get easier and new people will come into your life. Good luck with this.
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Apr 07
It is really hard to isolate the person from the relationship. The person is the main reason for the relationship in the first place;moreover, the center of the relationship. Well it has worked for me to go dating and meet new people, but this time, it does not seem to work because i am not in the mood to see new prospectives. Well I guess, just as you said it really does take time and I do hope that it would heal soon so I can back to dating again. As for now I just want to stay at home day in and out and just go out as per needed for business or some things to buy for home. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@abednego7 (1060)
• Philippines
5 Apr 07
3 days is too short to think of moving on, I guess first you have to learn to accept it or find a way how to bring it back if possible since you said you dearly love this person. But if she already made up her mind to go on separate way, you have to accept the fact that things like this really happens. It hurts but that's the only way to begin a new life without her. If possible avoid things that makes you remember her or places that you used to visit with her. Refrain yourself from hearing love songs that will reminds the memory of her. And associate yourself with your relatives and friends and make yourself busy with other things. And hopefully as time passing by you will gradually get over it.
• Philippines
6 Apr 07
These past few days have been really so difficult. Well I really do hope that these things would gradually pass so I can begin to move on and go dating again. As they say, time heals all wounds...hopefully! Thank you for your response and encouraging words for me.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Apr 07
Try to think that someone you are really meant to be with is still waiting for you. The hurts have to heal but you will have learned from this what works and doesn't ..Look at each new day as an adventure ..one step closer to finding you true love. Obviously the one who broke your heart and made it bleed is not the one for you..You will find someone..It's you destiny.. Perhaps someone who also thought they were with "mr right" will bump into you and you into her..Fate has ways of making things happen..Pain can't be bad..It gives life;)+
• Philippines
5 Apr 07
Well I do hope that fate find its way soon to me. Its really hard to live hour by hour and day by day carrying this burden of picking up pieces of my shattered self and still appear to be whole and composed to other people. I just hope that its true that I am one step closer to finding my true love.
1 person likes this
5 Apr 07
Breaking up is such a hard thing to recover from. You are still raw and hurting, three days is a very short time and the wounds are fresh. All I can say is that as time passes, it gets easier to bear. Give yourself time to let the wounds heal, try not to brood too much about it all, don't try to analyze what happened, it will only hurt you more. Try to take each day as it comes and let time takes its course.
2 people like this
• Philippines
5 Apr 07
It is so hard not to think of it nor brood about it too much because it really keeps on entering your thoughts, most especially things that make you remember the person. This person has done a lot of bad things to me but still I remember the things we did that made us happy and it sure still does overpower the mistakes made. Should I continue to fight for the relationship or better just give up? Well I guess like you said I better take it slow, hour by hour then day by day and try to let time heal these wounds. Thank you for your response.
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
5 Apr 07
When I have been in a break up before I have usually mourned and pined until I find someone new. I know that isn't healthy, but at least I did survive. Hang out with buddies and friends, have yourself a good time, try to relax. When you least expect it, the next love of your life will come along.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
5 Apr 07
yep. another person will come along. but atleast, i hope you fall inlove again when you are finally ready to move on. and true. another one arrives when you least expect it. so, be wise and think. sometimes, we have to make our hearts and minds work together as a team so as not to be hurt the same way again.
2 people like this
• Philippines
19 Apr 07
Well I hope you guys are right in saying that I would have someone new and be the love of my life. At this time, I really would not expect it so much because I am still in the stage of denial. Thank you for your responses and have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
19 Apr 07
Life is always dropping surprises when you least expect them. Some are not so good but love is one of the best. In my 47.5 years of life I remember thinking many times that I would never see love again. I have learned it can come around where and when you will never expect it. Over and over.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Apr 07
hi... i have been in such a situation. i broke up with my almost 3 yrs boyfriend. we had such a very complicated relationship and we even broke up on my birthday that was like 3 months ago. up to now i still think of him and still can feel the pain a little bit. it may take quite some time but try to go out with your friends. don't do things that you did together. try something new. try to go out with friends you have not been going out with. visit old time friends. do something different .. day by day try not to think of her even 1 hr everyday and then eventually it will become a habit and you just realized you are not thinking of her anymore. i totally understand letting go of someone you truly love is really really as in really painful and it hurts a lot but we have no choice but to accept reality and just think that someone better will come along. it will help you become a better and stronger person.. trust me.. ;)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
As I was reading your response, I was able to relate to accepting reality and someone better (I hope) would come along to love me and cheer me up. Thank you very much for your response.
• United States
6 Apr 07
Around Christmas 2006, an online relationship with a lady I had came to an abrupt end when she had told me she was going to be in my area, & would call me as soon as she got herself settled in with her family & friends. Despite my writing to her asking how things were going, the messages were read, but were not responded to. She had continued to ignore my requests for a reply, & even blocked me on instant messengers. It was tough, but time has helped, as well as other online friends who knew that we had planned to meet in person. THese friends knew that we were talking a lot on instant messenger, & I had told them - basically for her safety & mine. I was telling one of these friends that I was waiting for her to call, & I even started snippets to lyrics to an unfinished song about it. After a while, while sharing a laugh with one of those friends, they asked how I was holding up. It felt so much better to joke around by saying, "She left me, & she took my best broom to fly away from me as fast as she could. The worst part is, I miss that broom."
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
It could be easier on your part since you did not share physical intimacy with that person. As for us, there was a lot of contact in both quantity and quality. The time shared together was really a lot. It is truly quite harder in this case. It is mixed emotions of missing that person, anger, pain loneliness and depression. The only thing is one must hang on and try to keep busy with other things.
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
5 Apr 07
they say "breaking up is hard to do". yep. it's true. but what's harder is the "moving on" part. i am sorry for what had happened to your relationship. as they say, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. unfair, huh? you thought and believed and worked hard for what you thought of is forever. but thing is, not all we believed in is true. there are times when our hearts are shattered into pieces because of the pain break ups give us. but what we should know is that we can always stitch back the broken pieces of our heart. well, it takes a lot of time to heal. heart aches has the deepest wounds and it's difficult to mend it because the person who can mostly cure it is no longer by your side to cheer you up. you have to rely onto your friends and people who care for you... but mostly, you have to rely on yourself. cry if you need to. it might take many days, weeks, or months. some even dwell on it for years. but i know one thing, one day, you'll realize that you're over that person and that you are gonna move on with your life. learn from your experiences. don't let the pain drag you down. it's only you who can help yourself most. keep your spirit high!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
Most of the things that you have said I can truly relate to now. I guess it was not really meant to be. If the relationship as that was filled with so many barriers I guess it would really end up that way. It is very hard to recover from all of this but the only person whom you can really turn to is truly yourself. One must help himself up and try to stay sane amidst the insanity of the situation. Thank you for your response.
• Philippines
5 Apr 07
it is alright to mourn for the past...but the key to surviving it is not to make too many return trips coz u will risk on getting lost there forever...gone is the love that once was yours!it's no point crying over spilled milk...it is either accept,defeat or fight for it...
• Philippines
8 Apr 07
Well honestly, I am still fighting for it and have not yet accepted defeat. But then I guess I am just doing this for myself so that I can tell myself that I did everything to save the relationship and I can never blame myself for its ending. Thank you for your response and have a nice day!
@chiyosan (30213)
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
why do you have to break up with the person you love??? i have this quote for you, no intentions of making it harder.. i guess you have your reasons, and i guess she too is hurting... "It’s easy to say that you can let go of the person you love but reality bites… Letting go of someone you love kills half of your being … and you look back wishing you never said those words…" i know how it feels to have lost a love i guess sometimes we do have to make decisions like that... we can get over it though, time will heal all wounds. hang in there and be strong.
• Jamaica
11 Apr 08
I was in a similar position, how I get over it was to socialize more, its always help to be around persons who can help keep ur mind off the breakup and if you can try to always occupy your time by doing things that you will enjoy and love to do. Hope that will help and hang in there you will soon get over her.
@checapricorn (16049)
• United States
6 Apr 08
Its truly hard but once you will evaluate the valid reasons why it happens its very easy to move on though forgetting is not that quick! Keep yourself busy by doing something worthwhile and hang out with friends. Play your favorite sports.Just treat yourself best!
@subha12 (18449)
• India
3 Mar 08
it is really hard to move on from a broken relationship. still the life goes on. for this engage in some activity taht keep your mind away from all those things.
• India
3 Mar 08
You Don't have to wory about it coz as the time goesby you will understand how to deal with this sort of situvations. Don't try to do some thing that may hurt you and people around.
3 Mar 08
If you don't still come out from the shade, you should be patient to begin a new relationship. No one can begin a new one just after the old one be finished if the old was a true love. Take your time.
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
it is easy to be said than done. if i say move on, i know you can't do that fast. let time heal your wounds. just live and let it be.your hurt will be lessen if you do not think of it and entertain the feelings. i am sure if you survive that hurtings, you will be a better person than now.
@jett819 (42)
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
First you should be busy in other interests and yo should involve yourself in diferent activities. Try to mingle with your family specially to forget your heartaches.