Pesky Bears? No Problem For Crazy Campers! LOL!

@peaceful (3301)
United States
April 19, 2007 2:13pm CST
After a long hike through the Worthington State Forest in New Jersey, my girlfriend (I'm male) and I were simply worn out! The steep climb up the trail to our campsite had us completely knackered and all we wanted to do was pitch the tent and grab some much needed sleep... Soon after setting up the campsite, lighting a fire (it gets pitch dark up here at nightfall), and rolling out our sleeping bags, We tossed back a shot of good whiskey, shared a long goodnight kiss and proceeded to lay down and and pass out... At that instant, I heard a shuffling sound coming from the woods surrounding our tent- thinking it might be other campers (this is a public campground) I came out of the tent intending to greet them... Only it wasn't campers of the human variety- it was a huge black bear momma and three large cubs approaching our site from the woods at different angles... I quickly urged Kate to wake up and grabbed myself a couple of pots to make some noise. Kate, a city girl who had never seen a bear, began to whimper with fright and me, p*ssed and tired, started yelling- BAD DOG!, BAD DOG! for some strange reason... The pot-banging merely caused the bears to stop about 25 feet away and rear up on their hind legs, sniffing, growling and grunting... This was the time for the big guns! I told Kate, who is a trained opera singer, to belt out an old Ethel Merman show tune, " I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover!", as loud as she could... That did the trick! The bears, upon hearing this racket, turned and took off at a high rate of speed!!! The park ranger we had reported this bear encounter to was doubled over in laughter at my story and said that this confrontation-avoidance technique should be included in the ranger's and camper's guide! :) PS: For those of you who don't know who Ethel Merman was... she was a large woman with a big and GRATING voice who sang show tunes back in the 20's and 30's... My gratefulness to her, for allowing Kate to channel her Spirit... Ethel, you saved our butts! LOL! :)
5 people like this
7 responses
@jolenegreen (1209)
• United States
30 May 07
Oh my goodnesss.......LOL. I have never seen a bear before so I would be hiding in the corner of the tent like a chicken! HEHE....at least they left! You know how those mama bears and their cubs can get!
@peaceful (3301)
• United States
30 May 07
Yeah, but it takes one heck of a courageous bear to stick around when Ethel cuts loose! LOL!
@peaceful (3301)
• United States
22 Aug 07
I love the responses that you guys gave this story! :)
@happymommy3 (2013)
• United States
19 Apr 07
LOL!!! Oh my that is too funny! I can't believe that worked! That's just halarious, you certainly have made my day today, I needed a laugh like that, thanks for sharing this scary yet funny story!
@peaceful (3301)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Here's a brief autobiography of Ethel, to show you all what those bears were up against: http://www.musicals101.com/mermbio.htm They never had a chance! LOL! :)
@KATRINKA (1659)
• United States
22 Apr 07
This is priceless. I got the (I'm male!). Thanks. So I'm guessing your girlfriend is not a great singer? I didn't think Ethel Merman was that bad a singer. I ought to take Kate with me when I go hiking.
@peaceful (3301)
• United States
23 Apr 07
Kate is an excellent singer, but she has the ability to "Channel" singers that members of the Ursine population simply don't appreciate! LOL!
@rusty2rusty (6766)
• Defiance, Ohio
21 Apr 07
Wow, what a great story!! You both are very lucky you were able to scare the bears away. I am glad you were able to think on your feet. Instead of being scared silly from the bears. I need to remember that next I visit in the Tennessee mountains. Just let my kids make all kinds of loud (Is there any other kind for kids?) hollering noises to scare any bears away. Thanks for the laugh. I needed one.
@peaceful (3301)
• United States
21 Apr 07
My pleasure, rusty! :) The oddest, rarest creature on Earth is called The Quiet Human Child! :) I don't have any, and don't plan to ever have any... I'm much better with my Animal Brothers and Sisters than I am with children... You moms are awesome, I don't know how you do it!:)
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
20 Apr 07
You have had some of the most amazing encounters!!!! :) And thanks to you, if I ever see a bear in the wild, I will probably be yelling BAD DOG! BAD DOG! To it. hahaha Thanks a lot for putting THAT into my head. LOL As for knowing who Ethel was...I can't say that I know it. But I will also keep in mind to sing something. Maybe I will belt out a song from Happy Feet or something. "Don't push me cause I'm coming close to the edge..." haha Thanks for another great laugh and story! More! I wanna read more! :D No pressure.
@peaceful (3301)
• United States
20 Apr 07
That song might work, but something from ACDC will probably be much better! :)
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (102671)
• United States
20 Apr 07
You had better believe that I am going to keep this in mind, as I can have a large grating voice, any time I want to. I envy the chance to get away from it all and relax. I hope the rest of your trip was much more peaceful, and restorative.
@peaceful (3301)
• United States
20 Apr 07
It was peaceful and restorative... for three more days... Then on the fourth day, when we returned to our campsite from a days fishing... it had been completely demolished by another bear, a male named Zip, we found out later... The 800 pounder was tracked near our site by radio collar... he recieved a tranquilizer dart and a helicoptor ride for being a "Bad Dog" LOL! :)
@shambuca (2560)
• United States
27 Aug 07
I would have froze- not knowing what to do.....LOL-- good story!