Am I Just Being Silly?
May 6, 2007 8:40am CST
I am 25 years old and I have been going out with my boyfriend or seven months. Sometimes I get paranoid that he is going to cheat on me, or fancies another girl or is going to hurt me in someway because of my past experiences this is why I am paranoid and my boyfriend keeps reasuring me that he isnt that sort of guy but I still cant help being paranoid what should i do?
2 people like this
8 May 07
I dont know whether he will cheat you if you love him passionately. But i know for sure that he will cheat you if you dont love him. Try to give him everything a man requires, then why will he turn around to another girl! ? No possiblity.
8 May 07
Hello touchnshine You should trust your boy friend, even you had bad experiences then you can't trust a man. Believe me not all man are had bad attitude. It can make you more mature when you have a relationship, the day to start your relathionsip you must prepare that you can broken heart. Thank you. http://money-athome.blogspot.com
6 May 07
you mentioned briefly about your past experiences making you paranoid and makes you feeling extremely insecure about your present relationship. This shows that you have not let the past go away form your heart, purge them out from your mind. If you cling on to the past and let it affect your present relationship, it may be unfair to the other party, as he may be true to you, and serious in this relationship? To me, TRUST is most important in a relationship. Next come communication, perhaps you got to have a heart-to-heart talk with your current boyfriend, tell you what is making you feel insecure, I'm sure both of you will feel better after talking out. Your relationship will also be strengthen, as he will understand you better, and can be more considerate about your feelings and insecurities.
• United States
6 May 07
I also have trust issues because of my past relationships where I have gotten hurt. But the guy that I am with now is so much like me. He has been hurt before also and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me nor I to hurt him. Just relax and have faith that you have found the right man.
25 May 07
I think you are so sensitive,maybe you love your boyfriend too much,you are afraid that he will leave you and you may loss him.Do not pay your all attention to your boyfriend,try to trust him.When you feel you can not do it,try to leave your boyfriend,do not let yourself so tird.If you can not catch someone,choose to give up someone.You will be happy.
25 May 07
Well, i think you should communicate with him more. Trust him and let him feel he is trusted. At the same time, you will have to take things easily and not to think so much. But this doesn't mean you are not alert. Just follow the your flow and see how thing work out. There is a will, there is way. =)
17 May 07
Everyone has a past & don't allow your bad past to come in between your present.Don't be afraid of the situation.Have trust in your partner sinse mistrust can really kill any relationship.If both are serious than no matter what relationship will survive.Remember past is past,learn to live in presnt & hope bets for the future.
• United States
11 May 07
Wow, I have the same problem. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and I am paranoid every day that he is going to cheat, leave me, fall out of love..but I have no reason to feel this way. he has given me no reason or evidence that this will happen. It has a lot to do with self esteem. I have none.
10 May 07
Theres nothing wrong in being paranoid about someone. i think its just that you feel you havent reached a place in your relationship yet where you totally trust him. Trust is very important - i would suggest you sit down and talk about your feelings with him. Everytime a doubt surfaces, talk to him - nothing beats communication.
9 May 07
Relationship is always a leap of faith. Some are lucky to find their true love immediately while others take a much longer and more heart-ache prone way. But the rewards are immense - you finally get to grow old with the person of your dreams. Work on your relationship, day by day. Never let a misunderstanding, no matter how small get unresolved. Always aim to resolve it by the end of the day. This way, you build trust and by having sufficient trust, you banish paranoia. Learn to make it work and I'm sure he will reciprocate in kind.
9 May 07
Well friend, i dont find anything silly in it. You are being paranoid because you have experienced it before. But i would tell you that, you should try to get the character of the one with whom we are spending our time. We should judge people, on how they treat us or react when we are in problem. This will show whether they truely love us or not. Since you are in love with him, you may have that scare but if you keep telling him about it, then it may have some drastic effect. So it is better that you judge him quickly and take a matured decision. One more thing that i would like to tell is that, even if your boy friend cheats you, you should be in a situation to face it. You should be prepared for any type of result. So just face the problems and win over it :)
8 May 07
Dont think you are being silly. Your not. When you have bad past experiences, they play on your mind. By the sound of your partner, he sounds nice, and he probably understands your worry. It takes time. I had bad past relationships, but i have now got a wonderful partner that i have been married to for nearly 13 years. I had trust issues at first, but slowly i realised what a great and trustworthy person he was. Make sure you and your partner talk a lot and hopefully everything will work out. Best wishes to you