you want my opinion or not?

@maryannemax (12174)
Sweden
May 29, 2007 8:21pm CST
i had been in many situations when someone i know of asks for my opinion. ofcourse, i give what i think of a particular issue. there are times when the person does not find my thoughts good enough, they say bad comments about me. i wonder why people are like this. i mean, you asked for my opinion so, atleast that person should just have the respect of listening to what i think of that certain issue. if you don't like it, then don't. no need to say so many rude words, right? have you been through such situations, too?
11 people like this
20 responses
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
30 May 07
This is very common. many people ask for other opinions, but what they really want is for someone to confirm their own opinion, and when that person dont, then they do not like it =) I usually say what i think and if they do not like it - then it is up to them. i will not lie just so they can hear what they wanna hear.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
that's one good point there marie. they aren't really asking for our opinions. but what they want is to hear us say "that's one good idea... i think that will work.. blah blah blah." most of them want to just hear praise and not really opinions.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 May 07
there are some people we know who will ask for our opinion because, they are at a loss for the moment as to how to deal with things. when we give them a piece of our mind, we can feel whether our thoughts are being considered or not. but still, we can never be sure if it has been fully set aside for nought. at times, when all alone, they will consider deeply the advices that had come their way from people they know and even some ideas that have just been heard somewhere somehow. so, if someone asks fo our opinion and we have something to share, let us give it.
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
i guess so, too. it does not mean that if a friend asks for our thoughts, they will 100% follow what our thoughts are about. they also need to weigh things for themselves. atleast we have helped them somehow.
@jolly223 (73)
• United States
30 May 07
Sometimes when people ask for your opinion they are really just looking for reaffirmation of their own beliefs. If your opinion is different, then they resort to badmouthing.
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
yup. reality bites. ouch. i hope people will be sincere in asking for opinions and not just reaffirmations.
• United States
30 May 07
My brother used to call and ask me for advice constantly. I would tell him what I would think and he would start kinda arguing with me. I finally got so angry that I said to him "you call and ask for advice but you don't want advice. You want me to say what you want to hear and I won't do that." He hardly ever calls for advice anymore.
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
most people are like that.. atleast most of my friends are. they don't really need advice. they want us to praise them and recognize what they've done.
@GardenGerty (90227)
• Marion, Kansas
30 May 07
Yes, I have been in that situation. I think eventually you get a kind of radar, as to who will be polite, and who will be rude. You know what, if I respond, and someone is rude about my response, I am going to report them as abuse, or at the very least give them a negative rating. I can respect different opinions, but rudeness does not allow for respect. I can see that you have made lots of responses, and hopefully most of them have been polite.
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
isn't it easier to be polite and nice even when having disagreements? we can't ofcourse agree on all topics. but atleast be nice while being sincere. better than being rude.
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
30 May 07
Yeah, I have, no matter how gently I tried to phrase my disagreement. There was even one discussion about a person who was irritated about giving her opinions to people that didn't want them, but she is one of the worst about dealing with dissent. That's some irony for you. Sometimes you can learn quite a bit when you ask a question here at Mylot, other times you get nothing but very generic answers. I don't mind the unexpected opinion at all, unless it is stated rudely or abusively.
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
yup... generic responses like always agreeing with everything you say. hehe. i do agree, too most of the time. but there are really times when i can't and atleast, i do it in a good manner. i don't like hating others' feelings. so, i say my feelings of disagreement to the most polite way as possible.
• United States
30 May 07
Yes, I've been in situations like that. I find I have to base my statements on the person I am speaking to at the time - some people can handle advice or opinions more constructively than others. The key is to make sure you aren't being offensive. There are always tactful ways of saying even the most negative things. Even if an opinion is negative, it doesn't have to be hurtful.
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
yup. we can always air our opinions the way it should be delivered by atleast being nice and thinking of others' feelings, too.
@easy888 (10406)
• Australia
30 May 07
Hello,maryannemax,i will appreciate to all those people who reply me,luckily i have not had any ride comments to my discussions or replies. I agree with you 100%,it should be fine to have counter comments to others,but it is bad if rude words are used,those people are not really looking for other's opnions,they just want to 'win' in an argument,rude comments always try to hurt other people but are lame indeed.
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
yup. they always want to prove themselves by winning arguments. they want to make people know they stand out from the rest that's why they act so bossy and even to the point of not watching their words anymore.
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
30 May 07
It is happening here in mylot. I have received rude comments or those who think my discussions were not interesting. But I take it as a challenge and move on. I think you should not be worrying too much about this itsy bitsy thing. Just ignore them. They will only feel happy if they managed to get your attention.
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
that is so true. happened to me here once months ago. this person kept on telling me negative things. and since i reacted, she seemed to have fun annoying me. well, i did not give up but i think she's no longer here in myLot.
• Singapore
30 May 07
I must have come across similar situation before too. Like you, I would tell them that "HEY! You asked for MY opinion." :P This is just the way it is. People are this strange. :P
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
yup. people are strange and it's hard to understand them most of the time. but atleast we did our part.
@Dolcerina (3380)
• Hungary
30 May 07
I realized, that mylot is the community where you have to say the best about everything, you have to agree with everybody. Sometimes I see discussions where members only sound the praises of each other. That's why I say often these friends are not real friends. In the real world, your real friends say their opinion about you and your things, whether that is good or not. And most of us avoid the "friends" who always bow, or want to hear only nice things about themselves. The mylot is only a website where you can earn a lot if you can say enough compliments and long-long comments to others. Of course there is always a little except.
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
30 May 07
i guess people here are scared to get negative ratings that's why they always agree on each other. there are times when i disagree with things but i do it in a proper manner... atleast try not to hurt anyone with my honest opinion. we can all do that. as you've said, friends in real life see flaws of each other and try to correct them together.
9 Jun 07
Sure I do. I've given my opinion before to have it rejected and then turn to them being picky. Yesterday I posted to an abortion discussion and had someone slate my opinion and then a sad pathetic attempt to twist what I said was made. I think these people should be told what mylot is about, discussing doesn't mean questioning someone's believes opinion. ~Joey
@jencai (3416)
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
I think that person is stupid enough for doing so. I mean why would you ask for someone's opinion if you're not ready to listen with their thoughts? Everyone should know that we have different point of views and we have to respect it. I have alot of experience like this before. It makes someone feel upset for the comment someone would add after disagreeing. Hopefully people would think before they speak. Better if respect would always be around.
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
mary ann ,read what you have written again.you said you say your opinion on things ,that means it could be acceptable or not then now here you are saying that who is giving an opinion of you ,you think don't deserve to be heard because it opposes to who you are.don't you think there's something wrong in that premise?
@habichuelo (3104)
• United States
7 Jun 07
hello peoplllllllllle remember me??? how are you doing?? its been loooooooooong time since we last interact!!!
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
30 May 07
Yes Sweetie I have and to be honest you are best ignoring it I know it is not easy but there are People that just can't seem to take the truth Well they should not ask then if they can't take another Persons honest Answer Do not worry Sweet
@laltu86 (1253)
• India
30 May 07
Whenever we post here we are asking for opinion otherwise why post , now its our duty to respond wisely and carefully to the opinion and responses we get , its not a good habit to bash other simply because he/she has a different approch to life , and simply negetive grade him/her for that. I dont feel like doing that.
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
30 May 07
is this discussion related to mylot or general life???of course I lived something similar..sometimes we only want a person to agree with our opinion and we can get angry if he or she is there expressing is true opinion, that happens to be different from our!!!it is such common, my dear..I can tell you how I behave myself..when Iam living a difficult situation and I am in the middle of it, I don't talk with others because I am too easily hurt and my feelings are too deep and delicate..so I prefer avoiding everybody and being silent and trying to find the strength I need to face the problem..only when the problem is not so fresh, I can ask for opinion or speak about it without being afraid of other's words. this is something I learnt about me little by little because there was a time I asked for other's opinion or shared my life with others..but I have to admit I found that people can be so rude and I am too easily hurt in some moments..
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
30 May 07
Yes, it seems the more you state your opinions the more you get negative feedback. I know what you're going through, we must be sharing the same boat!
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
30 May 07
I have been through this situation also many times. People will ask my opinion about something but then again they do not really want to hear a word that I say or they do not respect what I say. I try not to be judgemental to them when I give my opinion but they always take whatever I say wrong or they do not want to hear what I have to say after they have asked me my opinion. There is no need for them to be rude, I agree. They shouldn't ask if they do not want you to speak about the situation.