my partner of seven years has been taken into a psychiatric hospital...

Isn't seven years long enough for a common law type of thing? That is pretty rediculous, can't his family speak up for you or something?

Honestly, I would have announced myself as his wife or fiance when I went to visit. Who would have questioned that? To begin with I would raise a terrible stink about it. Demand to be let in. Constantly ask to be updated and let in, talk to managers, talk to other people who come in. Threaten to talk to a newspaper. I would be furious and unrelenting. However, if you are not as hot-tempered as me, you could write letters to each other to be given to him by the staff or his family.

OMG Galena I hope he's doing better....Any word on how long he'll be in for? I really think hosptials need to change their policies when it comes to that sort of thing..I mean realistically in todays world how many ppl have been together for yrs and yrs but never married...its actually quite common....For hospitals to still hold on to such an outdated policy is bull IMO.. Can his sister not sign you in to go in with her?

Ow that is awful... I understand how you feel...WIth what you say hen I somehow been frighten for me and my partner since we're not married. You know what sometimes... its hard to bear that teh state didnt recognize the length or thekind of relationship we're having with someone... the legal relation is important... I know its quite hard that you cant see him in situations like this... maybe you can talk to his parents and let them talk to the hospital and reveal who are you in his life... I guess you would be allowed if the family esp. the parents will give you there consent. and if youre partner himself requested them to see you. TAlk to them and tell them that its not ok with you not to see him in this situation and maybe if you can ask them a little help. I hope this one works for you... If not then you have no choice but continue living for both of you. You can keep the house clean for his home coming. I'll be praying for you and youre partner... I hope everything will turn good for both of you guys. Just keep the faith.

So sorry about your partner's anxiety attacks. Those are so horrible and frightening. Unfortunately without that legal piece of paper you have no say so whatsoever. I just about ran in to the same thing when my "husband" started having severe chest pains last November and we rushed to the hospital. He had a blocked artery and had to have immediate angioplasty and a stent put in. If there had been any problems I would not have been allowed to make any decisions on his care. We would have had to call his mother or one of his sisters, all of whom are more than 500 miles away, to get permission from them. We have been living together as a couple for almost 9 yrs but haven't made it legal as yet and our state doesn't recognize "Common Law" marriage. After that many years you'd think that we would have some say so but unfortunately LEGALITY means everything when it comes to another person's care. So we are talking about making it legal, which is fine with both of us. We arent' getting any younger and you never know what can happen at any time. Found that out the hard way. I hope he gets better very soon. I'll be sending good thoughts your way.

First of all, I can't understand why you're not allowed to see him...it doesn't really matter what kind of hospital it is...I had a friend who had to be placed in the psych ward of a hospital and I was allowed to visit her and I certainly wasn't family--is there any way you can at least call and talk to him...if he signs a proxy of some kind and specifically states your name on it then you can not only visit him but have a say in his "clinical" care--we have something like that here in America due to the Hippa Privacy Laws...And why a psychiatric hospital to begin with??...Just because a person has panic attacks doesn't mean shoving a person in such a place..I mean I have panic disorder and used to have very severe panic attacks myself..I wasn't shoved in a hospital--the whole thing just doesn't sound right to me. Does his family have something against or dislike you?? That could be the whole reason for not allowing you to see him because they might have said something to bar you from seeing him

That does not seem fair. Doesn't he have any say in who comes to visit? Some hospitals do it that way. But I also know some don't allow but certain people for the first 48 hours. You are a part of his life and I think it would be important for him to be able to see you. I think it would be more hurtful to him if he can't see you.

That is absolutely appalling... I thought issues like this only happened to gay couples. Is there anyone higher up in position at the hospital that you could talk to? I just find it absolutely amazing that they wont let you visit. Could your partner demand for you to be allowed in? I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. And your partner going through anxiety attacks, surely his family and doctors would see you as a support and help through this incredibly hard time for him. If anyone knows him and can support him through this it is you.... I hope you find a way to get to see him and find a way around this bureaucracy madness. Hope he feels better soon and remember to take care of you also. You need to be healthy to help him through this. No point both of you ending up in hospital *wink* Take care Galena and good luck.

You are given some good advice here, the best that I like is the next of kin issue... Who is making decisions for him? Is this a problem between the two of you (you and your partner) or between you and his parents? Something is fishy here, I thought hospitals had recognized the danger in seperating people and their significant others? I know how the hospital nearly destroyed and has changed my relationship with my spouse, we have some serious issues as a result of psychiatrists being deaf and dumb... Patients know what they need, and should be heard and granted certain freedoms. This sounds more like an intervention and not a voluntary visit. It sounds like forced treatment. I hope I'm wrong.

I'm so sorry to hear about this, Galena! Since I don't know the laws where you are, I'm not sure what you can do about it, if anything. That's just ridiculous, though, that they won't let you in to see him even if he asked!!! I really hope that things get better for both of you soon, and that some way of you getting in to see him develops!

I am so, so sorry:( Maybe he can add you to his list of people allowed in if he asks. At the hospital I work at friends can come in, but we have to be notified ahead of time and have the friends name on the list. This is the one major reason I want to be married already to my man of 6 years, if something were to happen to him I don't know what I'd do if I weren't allowed in. I hope he gets and feels better soon, and I also hope you can get in there ASAP to see him. I'm sending a big *HUG* to you.

I am sorry to hear about your partner. It's really not fair that you are not allowed to visit him. Can you phone and ask to speak to him? I am sure he would want to see you. If you can't speak to him on the telephone, could you ask his sister to ask him to request a visit from you? I hope you have a satisfactory outcome :-)

Condolences and I hope you and he are reunited soon. The way to prevent this from happening again is for him to give you permanent/durable medical Power of Attorney. That means you're the one directed to make medical decisions for him. And perhaps you'd give him one, as well, on your behalf. Most lawyers can whip one up and if your state allows, you can do it yourself. Many software programs that help you do wills and your own Living Wills also provide durable Power of Attorney forms. Hope this helps.

I know in some states 7 years is considered a common law marriage. Yeah you may not have a paper saying you are married, but you are still his partner.