What are your views on adoption?
October 25, 2006 4:31am CST
Do you think adopted children should have the right to know their birth parents? Do you think adopted children are treated equally when they are adopted into a family with kids of their own? Or anything else on the subject? There are a lot of questions about abortion and many answers include adoption but I haven't seen any questions about that.
25 Oct 06
I think it's important that adopted children know they are adopted and, when they reach an appropeiate age, they should be given photos and information about their birth parents. They should then have the right to choose if and when they get to know their birth parents. You can't generalise with age as children are so different and some will be ready to make their choice at an earlier age than others. I can't really comment on whether they are treated the same as families are so different and even natural children may be treated quite differently and sometimes unfairly within a family.
25 Oct 06
Yes, I do think so. I personally don't think I know anyone who was adopted, but I know someone who didn't know his real Dad, and he was quite upset about that, he decided when he was in his late teens that he wanted to know him. So, yes they should know they're adopted and know about their real families and it should be up to them whether they do anything about it or not. It would depend on the child at what age they would be told though. If I was adopted, I'd want to know about it!
28 Oct 06
I think adopted children should always have the right to know thier natural parents, even if the parents were bad parents, they didnt want that child or whatever. They need to know at the very least that they were adopted. For me, I wanted children more than anything in the world, and I have waited 15 or so years for that to happen. Adoption was thought of many times, and that child that may have been adopted would have gotten all of my love and caring that I could ever give, in fact as much as being my own. As for being treated equally when brought into a home with other kids, yes of course that is what should happen, but it may not happen in all cases, not through lack of trying, just because that child is not a blood relative, its a maternal thing I think. As I mentioned before that I always wanted kids, if I did adopt, I would still love that kid, but it would still be different, not less but different. That is how I honestly feel and I cant change that. I do believe that a person could love a child as thier own for sure. It all depends on that person, and that person who could do that is very special indeed. That was sooooo long, I hope it made sense lol.
• United States
28 Oct 06
I think it has to be a mutual decision between the birth parents and the child (and the child's adopted parents) as to whether or not the child gets to meet and know their birth parents. I don't know any adopted people, but I believe they are treated equally. At least some, and I'd like to say most.
27 Oct 06
Adopted children have every right to know about their situation, including being told who their birth parents are. However, it is their choice whether or not they wish to meet and get to know their biological parents. The most important thing is to impress upon them how fortunate they are to have been adopted (especially if they came to good families who treated them as their own) and that being adopted does not necessarily mean being loved less than the kids of their adoptive parents.
• United States
13 Nov 06
Yes,when children get of legal age they should have the right to find their birth parents.I myself wouldn't want to had I been adopted.The people who loved and raised me would be my parents not the ones who gave me away.The only exception would have been if I had a serious illnes and needed my family medical history.
7 Jan 07
A couple of friends were adopted and also a couple of other friends adopted children. For many years here in Australia parents who have adopted children have been encouraged to tell the children of their circumstances, i.e. that the child was chosen specially. I agree that children should know this and also as they become older and more mature some other facts should be available to the child as well. However, I do not think that the child should be able to have identifying information on their birth parents until they are 18, which is the age when one is considered as an adult here in Australia. Then they should only be provided with information, if the birth parents agree to it being released and the initial contact should be done through a mediator. The laws have substantially changed here in Australia over the years and now the birth parents can elect to know who has adopted their child as well as receive regular reports and photos etc. Friends of ours adopted 3 children and in 1 instance it is working out very well in that the birth mother does not want to know who the adopting parents are but does receive regular reports re progress at school etc. The second mother is a big problem in that she wants access on a weekly basis plus photos etc and expects to have the child for special occassions, i.e. child and mother's birthday, Easter, Christmas, Mother's Day. She wants to be the mother but without any of the responsibility. The third one knows who the adopting parents are, sees the child a couple of times a year but always with the adopting parents present etc. She acknowledges the entire family, not just the child she gave birth to. Which one is best I am not too sure but I do know that it does cause lots of problems for this family, particularly the second one. However that is the law at present and I have seen how this law affects the behaviour of the children. This couple treat all the children the same and do not have any children other than these 3. Other friends of ours adopted a child and he is treated in the same way as their 2 natural born children. The adopted child is actually the middle one and was adopted after many years of trying for a second child. The wife fell pregnant at the same time as they adopted the second one.