Work On Myself Begins Tomorrow

@wolfie34 (26793)
United Kingdom
July 11, 2007 12:25pm CST
Following on from my counseling discussion I made some time back when I decided to seek the much needed help, I got an assessment date of 17th August with a three to four month waiting list Well I got a call today they've had a cancellation and could I go tomorrow (12th July!) so I jumped at the chance, so I'm going along tomorrow at 12. So at least I can start work on myself, I just hope they will be able to help I have told them I've got BPD which does put a lot of counselors off and they refuse to see BPD cases, so fingers crossed I don't know where to start, if I start I won't know where to stop, I think it might be an idea to write a list down, I'll have about an hour to start to see what they can offer me etc... So I'll have to bullet point it. I'm glad there is unlimited sessions I feel that I'll need to be in counseling for years to get me back to the happy wolfie I once was (many full moons ago, in actual fact it was 1998 when I was truly happy!) Although I won't expect miracles! I'm half excited, half nervous that I don't break down in front of them literally!
11 people like this
20 responses
@mummymo (23707)
11 Jul 07
Wolfie my daling brother I am so glad that you are still excited about this - I am so pleased that you are going to get help to make you feel better about yourself and life! lol It is normal to feel scared and nervous - it is a hard thing to do - face the demons that have affected your life negatively but it is so worthwhile! There is nothing wrong with you breaking down in front of your counsellor - I did that many times and it is good in a way cos you are letting go of things that hurt you! Please, please let me know how things go - you know I love and worry about you! Big Hugs xxxx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
11 Jul 07
I also wanted to say that although there are no instant miracles it probably won't take as long as you seem to think it will to start feeling better - bit at a time, every little step gets you closer to where you want to be! xxxx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
11 Jul 07
You know sweetheart maybe that is part of the problem - you are holding too m much pain inside and not letting it out! Maybe if you had a good long cry you would let some of it out - tears can be cleansing you knows darling! Whatever happens sweet Wolfie I hope it helps - I am always here for you, remember that! Big Hugs Bruv xxx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
14 Jul 07
It starts with a trickle then the big gusher! I have so much emotional baggage holding me down, as she rightly says I live in the past and forget about the here and now and the future I don't bear thinking about either xxxx
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
17 Jul 07
Wolfie stop panicking Sweetie and just be yourself and I do not believe it will take them Years Sweetie go in there with a full will and thought that you want to be sorted out and go for it love The more you want it the faster it will work
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
24 Jul 07
This sounds embarrassing but I don't think I need the counseling now, I will still go along until October tho' but with my plans and holiday and escape and my friends on Mylot supporting me and counseling me I think I've won the battle, although the counselor will help me win the war so that I never ever get myself into this position again!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
25 Jul 07
Good on you Sweet and also if you did not go it might rise some suspicion to so keep going x
• United States
11 Jul 07
That's great that you get to go in earlier! I wish you the best!! By BPD do you mean by polar disorder or do you mean borderline personality disorder? Just curious and you don't need to answer if you don't want.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
11 Jul 07
I've got the borderline personality disorder label firmly attached around my neck now! Thanks for your response, appreciated.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jul 07
Don't worry about labels. I have anxiety disorder. Panic disorder. I occasionally suffer from situational depression. And thanks to my fibro and CFS; I have also developed a bit of OCD. I truly hope you get what you need. All the best to you!
• United States
11 Jul 07
Great!! It's awesome that they are able to get you in sooner. That will be better for you. Who cares if you break down in front of them? That means you are human, you have emotions. If you do, it will give them a better sense that you are truly serious about your unhappiness. I wish you all the best. Do be sure to keep us updated on your progress. :o)
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
11 Jul 07
Will do, it will be good if I can release my emotions, as a boy I was always taught it was WRONG to cry
• United States
11 Jul 07
Isn't it sad that our society does this to boys? In my family they even did it to girls. I still cry. I always have. It's a great way to release all the emotions boiling around inside yourself.
13 Jul 07
How did you get on? Good job it was not today - Friday 13th.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
14 Jul 07
It went really well my friend, very positive, I got my points across and she said I was articulate and suffering from a lot of turmoil and I am very very hard on myself, I just have to wait for a start date but it won't be as long as first thought of 3-5 months, because I am very flexible and have no preference to a man or woman. I felt comfortable and it will be hard work but it will be worth it, I can't go on the way I am x
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
12 Jul 07
I am so happy for you, my dearest friend.....I just know that this is apositiv step for you...please make sure that you update us when you return tomorrow....I know that there will be times when it will seem almost too difficult to endure but stick with it and look for the positive.... I have missed you...I am glad that they called you with the cancellation time....
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
14 Jul 07
I've had so many counselors in the past so bringing all my past up for the umpteenth time won't be a prob, I do that everyday as it were, that's why I need the counseling to get rid of all the emotional baggage I carry around with me and move on x
@eaforeman6 (8983)
• United States
13 Jul 07
Wow, Its wonderful you wont have to wait....Sounds like your list is a great idea....that would be a big help and your guaranteed to get to all the main subjects...Very best wishes for you....and I hope you will get everything you want on your list and that you will be pleased .
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
13 Jul 07
Hi Wolfie, best of luck tomorrow. Just go in with an open mind and you will do fine. also what is BPD, is that Bi Polar? I can not understnd why they wouldn't want to work with you. I am sure if you are taking the medications and they are working then there should not be a problem. take care Robin
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
13 Jul 07
1998 was not a good year for me financially and emotionally. but 2 years after that I met my husband and since then I find the hard working years more bearable. anyway enough with me, it's great to know you are taking counselling. I've read some of your discussions and I hope you will find help from these people.
1 person likes this
@rhinoboy (2129)
12 Jul 07
I'm glad to hear you'll be able to get started sooner than planned. I hope it all goes well for you, in fact, I'm sure it will.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 07
Well, well, well. All i can really say is that i am happy for you. i know this is what you feel you need. And i truly hope it works out for you. DOn't worry if you break down in front of them...that is ALL part of the process. They are used to it and won't think less of you for it. Hopefully you will be happy again.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
12 Jul 07
I too was diagnosed with BPD, so I can relate to your struggle. I am very happy that you are getting the opportunity to go into therapy. I am yet looking for a therapist willing to help counsel me, but being on Mylot has helped a lot. And nothing has helped more than my relationship with God. I wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
11 Jul 07
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain..I wish you the best in your recovery..It will probably be some time before you feel your best, but one step at a time..Take each day one step at a time...
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6118)
11 Jul 07
Well good luck my friend. I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and I hope all goes well. Just be truthful and honest with the counsellor - I'm sure nothing you say or do can shock them - that is what they're trained to do! And even if you do break down - there is no shame in that. Good luck and take care.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
11 Jul 07
Thanks my dear friend, Zeus sends Lily his love x
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
17 Oct 10
Thats great! Making oneself in learning about themselves and working on it, is a nice attitude. Hope the counseling brings a new in yourself!
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Honey you will get on faster then you think. You just need a different focus in your life and since you have that now you will get better you will see. We are all cheering yopu forward.Hugs
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
11 Jul 07
That's great news. At least there were a cancellation instead of the waiting. I know things will work out for you. Good Luck my friend.
• United States
11 Jul 07
Hey have you considered emotional release therapy. Its a very good form of releasing emotions. Please read the book emotional release therapy by walter weston. he is the one who started it. I have learnt the technique just by reading the book and it works. I try it on myself and my friends and family. If you find someone in the area who practices emotional release therapy it will be great.
@LAWise520 (276)
• United States
11 Jul 07
Any disorder should be treatable by a good psychiatrist. Getting help is a great thing. And even if you do break down in front of them...it could be a good thing. Sometimes breaking is the only way to get healed.
11 Jul 07
Congratulations. I hope they are very helpful for you but we all love you anyway. Best wishes.