Would you marry someone who is divorced and has kids?

Magical - I love unicorns and wanted to share this.
@magikrose (5423)
United States
August 2, 2007 12:25pm CST
Seriously think about it. If you met someone and found out that they were divorced and had kids would you still consider marrying them. I ask because my husband married me and I had 2 kids prior to him and he didnt care he still loved me and wanted to be with me. he knew about the emotional baggage and about dealing with my ex, yet he still wanted to marry me. Would you feel the same way?
5 people like this
34 responses
@ctrymuziklvr (11059)
• United States
2 Aug 07
Wedding picture - For better or worse!
Obviously because of my age...sweet 60...lol...all men are either divorced or widowed. I have dated younger men who had kids and even had custody of them and it didn't bother me at all. I would have married them had any of the worked out...lol....I was married two times, the second time when I was 35 he had 3 boys and I had my 3 kids. All was going great until he passed away. I don't think it should matter if both love each other. My daughter is dating a guy who has never been married and has no kids and she has two and he loves the kids like his own which is great because they need a father figure.
@sharkee (63)
• China
2 Aug 07
To be honest, I really don't want to be involved with someone who is divorced, let alone have kids. But sometimes it just happens! If I fell in love with someone with all that, I'd just have to take it or leave it. The big problem would be having to deal with the ex of course. I'd constantly be suspicious...and there would never be an end to it because kids sort of bonds a couple forever - whether they're divorced or not. But if I were in your shoes, I'd definitely love someone who would take me despite the baggage, I'd definitely be very lucky to have someone like that. Better not screw it up, heheh!
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 07
lol Sometimes life does have other plans for us. :) I personally never thought I'd get married period and here I am 8 years later. I had 2 kids at the time too and he's grown to love them as well.
@Cassy1976 (796)
• Australia
2 Aug 07
If I loved someone enough to marry them it wouldnt bother me if they were divorced and had kids, there are always circumstances behind divorce and it may not have been their fault. I have seen the most dedicated loving husband getting a divorce because with all of that love and support he gave his wife, she got bored and went to someone else. The past is the past and that is how it is for me, you just have to accept the here and now and if that involves other someone elses kids I would still do it
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Aug 07
At one time I felt that marrying someone with children already was not a problem at all. Now I feel I would never do it again if you paid me a million dollars. Not because of the children but because of what position you could be putting the children in.
@magikrose (5423)
• United States
2 Aug 07
What position is that? As long as both biological parents are involved and as long as everyone sets boundaries from the start and tell the kids what is what then there shouldent be a problem. My husband married me and I had kids before him and they all know who is who and what is what. It is all good.
• United States
3 Aug 07
I dont think that that is a good thing you are not trying to be the kids parents and all as long as they know that you are a friend adn all and thats it.
@magikrose (5423)
• United States
3 Aug 07
Crystal the thing is kids have plenty of friends at school what they need is parents who will guide them and teach them. It is ok to be a friend to the kids sometimes but most of the time they need parental guidance.
1 person likes this
• China
3 Aug 07
I think your husband love you very much.However,if one day I love someone who's divorced and has kids,maybe I will not marry him.Kids is a big problem.Perhaps they will think that I'me the bad one who destroy thier family.They will hate me.We can't get along with each other.Our new family will ruin one day.
• United States
3 Aug 07
i would really think about that because i mean i hope you change your ways i mean if you really love someone then kids are not a problem its you letting them be and all i mean i dont think you should have kids if they are a problem and that just means that you are not a fighter
@magikrose (5423)
• United States
3 Aug 07
Mandala I need you to understand I had had 2kids before my husband got married, and we had 2 together. My 2 older kids DONT hate me or my husband at all they love both of us. They dont think my husband is the bad one who destroyed our family cause I was single for some time before we met. My kids were actually happy to have a father figure in there life that they didnt have for some time. Kids soen alwys get along with there step-parents and they dont always get along with there own parents it is the way things are. You have to be strong enough to take controll and be the adult.
@zabawaus (1732)
• United States
2 Aug 07
This is something i would never mind if there is a strong love between me and him. But there will be always a small problem like he needs to see his exwife since they have children in common. But Also another problem is about families. If i never get married before and no kids as usual and he has 2 kids, probably it would be a problem between families. It is something we always hear that families are so much involve to relationships.
• United States
3 Aug 07
That is really good i am glad someone actually sees it the same way that i do. I dont understand as long as you are not trrying to be their mom or dad replacement i. I mean my husbands other 2 kids get the same amount of attention as my own when theya re here and i mean they know we had a ytalk that thye do have to listin to me at the house and respect me and clean but htey know i am not trying to be their momor dad and tryig to be just a friend and all.
1 person likes this
@zabawaus (1732)
• United States
20 Aug 07
Thanks for best response :)
• Pakistan
7 Sep 07
yeah i do believe in making relationships rather than breaking relationships. and definitely when you reciprocate your love to your partner why wouldnt he or she allows you to come into her/his heart.
• United States
7 Sep 07
I love kids and have one of my own. So, if I were to ever find myself divorced and looking for a man, I think I would prefer one that already had kids. Guys who don't have kids can't possibly imagine the responsibility they are taking on. Parenting in real life is not as you see it on television. There are many tantrums to deal with. The little kids on television never throw tantrums and when they do, they are easily resolved. Real life kid tantrums and problems are not solved by a pat on the head. So, I would want someone who had already dealt with kid issues, so he would understand when mine had problems. With that being said, I would also not want a new man to impose his parenting style on my kid. We communicate in a special way and I don't think a man could understand that. She's a really great kid. So, next time around, I might just go it alone as a single parent, instead of trying to make her get along with a new Daddy. That's what I would do. But, who knows.
• Philippines
9 Aug 07
would i marry someone who is divorced and has kids? yes, love is all that matter as they say.. i love kids, so presumptions are already there figuratively.. and to be more wordy yes ill love his kids to0 knowing i do like kids,, this isnt about who you are,what you were or something anyway, it doesnt matter really if youve been in a dvorced or anything.. people with old traditions and with culture effects just couldnt comprehend with such.. just dont mind them hehe jowk, kidding aside, yea whatever matters to them would you really mind? ofcourse not! you know whats best for you people, go for it! life is meant to happy people! good luck! may you have a happy life..
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
8 Aug 07
I did do it! My husband was divorced and had a 4 year old daughter at the time I met him. I was much younger then him but I didn't mind at all that he had a child. I loved him and so I loved her. She was around 7 when we got married. She was with us every weekend and once during the week. I never felt she was an intrusion or like baggage. I loved seeing my husband as a Dad. We had a baby two years after we were married and another four years after that and my stepdaughter calls them her brothers and they call her their sister. She is older than they are by a good bit but still close. It's not always smooth sailing when you marry someone with kids but, if you love that person, you love their child/children as well. I think it is a great thing for the kids to have someone else who cares about them and treats them well. Your husband obviously loved you very much and, because your kids were part of you, loved them and I think that is awesome. Some people can't handle the "baggage" that comes with their partners having kids. If they can't, then I question their real love for the other person.
• Canada
8 Aug 07
I have read every1's response to this and there is just one question that keeps popping in my head. Whats the difference between getting married into a ready made family or adpoting children? I mean if you really think about it, isnt that really in the end what your doing, when you love a man or a woman enough to want to marry them and they have childern then to me your just getting a bonus, your getting more love, adventures and excitement added. To me people need to look more into there hearts when getting involved with some1 that has kids and ask themselves ifn they want kids and want to be involved in the kids lives before they get to involved and want to get married, afterall then in my books its too late to be asking that, afterall its not just the person that has the kids that gets hurt when some1 decides they dont want to deal with kids, but its the kids as well, cause they too have gotten to know ya. So I would have to say yes with out a doubt I would marry a man that had kids just gives you more to love and more love for you.
• India
8 Aug 07
no, i don't feel the same way. i will not marry a divorcee who has kids
• Malaysia
8 Aug 07
I personally feel there is nothing wrong with marrying someone who has divorced before and already had kids on his own. The most important thing is to look at the person himself, whether he is suitable for you or not. Does he have the quality that is needed in a husband. If he does, I think you should go ahead with your plan. Marriage can do you a lot of good. I wish you good luck.
@Odlanor (141)
• Philippines
5 Aug 07
For me I won't, because my life might be complecated due to your past. But, in the case of your husband, might be a different thing. Sometimes, it's easy to say no but when you already fall in love, everything will be possible and love will lead you and make a way even if it's unbelievable.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
3 Aug 07
i think it would probably depend on the situation. i wouldn't want to marry into a really complicated situation with a ex that causes trouble or anything like that.
• China
3 Aug 07
no .i can't stand .although i told him i don't care ,in my heard i am not happy .because they arenot my children .
@rsa101 (17104)
• Quezon City, Philippines
3 Aug 07
It really depends on each and every person and the situation they are in. Different people will answer differently with every situation they are faced with. But there is only one factor to consider there. Is the love able to cover everything including the kids they are planning to marry? If the answer is yes then by all means they should marry. When entering into this kind of relationship it is always an imperative that they should not only consider how they will feel but their extended family.
• United States
3 Aug 07
Yes i belive that you can i did my usband has 2 kids prior and now we have kids people that have strong feeling dont care alot of people are like that now a days. I mean especially if they know about kids before and in the beggining and they like children and know you are not trying to replace a father alot of them do it doesnt really matter especially in todays society I mean when people have feelings they know and all i mean it doesnt make you a bad person i mean if someone didnt do it because of that then they are not the right person for you any ways and all and i wouldnt worry about it there is somewhere better and it was not the right time or person god set u up for. I mean now me and my husband have kids of our own and we still have to deal with his other mother but i took it on in the begginging and it only makes you stronger and all.
@smints8985 (1595)
• United States
3 Aug 07
Sometimes thinking of the person that we love, we always imagine someone with whom to start a family with and to have children with. And yes, this thing should be given a serious thought before committing. True love goes beyond the normal and the stereotypical I guess. And if and only if that time comes that I truly realize that that person is the one I am looking for in this lifetime, and that he just made a drastic decision early in his life to have caused a divorce and kids, I believe I would know how to deal. But then if I can let go of the person, then it might not be as genuine love as it is then I would not want to commit myself into it.
@ozwombat (56)
• Australia
3 Aug 07
Good grief magikrose yes yes yes there are genuine guys out there he is obviously head over heels with you and sees the kids and you as one dont question just enjoy ok :) Be thankful for theres a lotta guys that aint like that and it makes me so ashamed to see other males treat women like that so to know you have a guy who is sticking with you regardless please just embrace his a good guy ok :)