Does your spouse ever mess up your daily routine?

United States
August 5, 2007 9:48pm CST
My hubby works out of town quite often. More often than not he's gone. I have a daily routine that I keep when he's gone and when he's home it get all messed up and it drives me completely insane. When he's home he allows my daughter to do whatever she wants and our routine is all messed up. Then when he leaves out I have to deal with the whining and crying of her not being able to get her way and having to get up and go to daycare in the mornings. I'm losing patience with my hubby does anyone have any advice for me? What would you do if you were in my shoes?
2 people like this
5 responses
• Malaysia
6 Aug 07
My hubby doesn't work out of town, but I stay at home during the week days while he goes out to work. Basically it is me 100% who arrange for everything in the house. I do all the cleaning up. So it is normal for me to have a routine for everything in this house. However, my husband doesn't understand my situation once upon a time ago. He makes mess around the house and just leave all the mess for me to clean up later. My daily routine indeed went on a mess. However, one day I got so tired of being patient. I prepared him some nice meal and talked to him in a sweet way. I showed him examples of why he must not interfere with my daily routine. I even showed him what are my daily routine every day while he was gone. At first he was defensive and didn't agree with me even a little bit. But we have to be patient. Some husbands are like little kids, lol. Actually everybody has a kind of a kid nature in ourselves. When we see a new thing for the first time, we used to reject it and retaliate. But after a while, we soon to realize that it makes sense and we should follow things in the right order. The same thing goes with my husband. After I told him about it twice, he begins to understand and now he's trying his best not to interfere with my daily routine. As a return, I try to re-schedule my daily routine on weekends so that it would suit both parties - me and my husband. Now we live happily and we kind of able to sort things out. I am very content with this current life I am having. I wish you good luck, and I hope this helps. Have a nice day!
• United States
6 Aug 07
I always tell my friends I have to go home and check on my two kids. They always give me a funny look and then I say my daughter and my hubby, they just laugh!!
@magikrose (5425)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Next time he is home after your daughter is in bed and asleep you really need to have a long talk with your husband and let him know that you have a daily routene to keep things going smoothly and when he is home he dosnt do anything to help you keep that routene going. You might want to have a basic schedule mapped out for him and have it on the refrigerator for him to see that way he knows what you have done and should be going on next that way you both are on the same page when he is home.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Aug 07
I tried that. Since he's not home often to spend time with our daughter he thinks the best thing he can do is allow her to do whatever he wants so he looks like the "great dad" when he's home. He'll even bribe her with things while he's on the road.
1 person likes this
@mindyja25 (181)
• United States
6 Aug 07
My husband lives in another state he is getting ready to deploy and when he comes home yes he really messes me up with everything. I don't check my email, or real mail on time. I don't do anything like I should, my son gets all messed up with when he sleeps and wakes up. It's like for two weeks everything is crazy and not planned out which I can't stand. On the other hand I'm so happy when I get to see him I don't mind it at all. I just wait till he leaves and I clean up the house and slower get things back in order. I would rather deal with the mess forever it I could get him to stay home.
• United States
6 Aug 07
I think that is why I don't say anything to him about messing up our schedule cause I'm so glad he's home that I would rather spend the time redoing the schedule than worrying about fighting with him while he's home about it. We have just a few days usually that he's home at a time and I want to treasure every minute of it so that when he's here were not fighting and driving each other away!
• United States
6 Aug 07
When my husband stays home from work when he is sick he throws everything off for me. I have a monday through friday routine and he messes it all up. When I tell my kids no they run to him for a second opinion. I had to sit down and talk with him and tell him what kind of problem he is causing me. It did help a little. Not compleatly though.
@sid556 (31019)
• United States
6 Aug 07
My advice was going to be exactly the same as what magikrose suggested. If there were ever a solid case for "nagging" this would be it. You need to keep telling him how important it is for your daughter that you two be on the same page. I am sure that he loves and misses her and just wants to see her happy. He needs to understand that consistency is what will really make her happy in the end. Also, this situation sounds as if it is driving the two of you apart. That is not good for your daughter. It is not good for your daughter to have a mom that is all stressed out because the dad is not working with her but against her. It is hard enough that his work is keeping you physically apart alot of the time. When he is home he should be working WITH YOU. I don't know if it would help but after you get a few more responses, maybe you could show him this thread.?