Do you trust your Family Members?

@marciascott (25563)
United States
August 6, 2007 11:38pm CST
I would like to trust all of my family, But We had Money missing today. My husband thinks my Grandson took, it, I don't want to believe it. he is 16 1/2 , but what I can't understand is why would someone just take some of the Money? a thief would take the whole thing. My jusband jid the rent money under the Bed. and when he came home he was raising hell about it sayin someone to 3 100 dollar bills, I just son't want to belive he did it. It was part Our rent Money. I notice someone had climbed through my bedroom window, and the window was not lock. someone took a can to stand on to get in window. they put the double lock on the back door, which we never do. We made a Police report. I will be so hurt if I find our that it was him. I mean really hurt, I love My Grandson and would anything for him. How can I find out if he really did it? It xould of been someone else too? I don't know? There were guys workinf next door in thus empty house too, then this other guy who works wirh My husband? he didn't work with him today, His Mother lives mext door to me and I heard he had been over there in her back yard a few times un the Garage, so I don't know I really don't trust him. What do you think about this situation?
9 people like this
26 responses
@stephcjh (32388)
• United States
7 Aug 07
I am so sorry to hear about this. I think someone had to know where the money was since it was hidden under the bed. I am really not sure who did this to you all but I really think someone had to know where the money was to begin with. I hope you find out who did it and you get the money back. I don't harldy trust anyone these days whether it is family or not. It is awful. I am so sorry for you.
3 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
Thanks Steph, I just talked to my Grandson and he told me he sweared on his father and his father is deceased. I know you might think I am crazy, but I am going to see a Spirit Adviser I just half to know, I believe in them. and they have told me a lot of things that was true. I won't be satisfied untill I do.
4 people like this
@Rozie37 (15508)
• Turkmenistan
8 Aug 07
Marcia Scott, I don't know how I assumed that you were a Christian. I would never trust a "spirit adviser." Are these psychics? I would not trust them with something so serious. I would pray about this and put it in God's hands.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
8 Aug 07
I believe in Both.
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21591)
7 Aug 07
The first thing to do here is to make yourself a calming drink, like herbal tea, sit down and think logically about this. When you left the house to go out, was your grandson around to see you leave? Ok, they didn't take all the money, possibly because they thought that if they only took a part of it, you wouldn't notice, or if they were seen leaving the house with the tin, then they would have been more conspicuous... in other words, putting a few bills in their pocket would be much easier and they would be more likely to get away with the theft, without your even noticing there had been a theft. The one thing I can't understand is why they would have left the can under the window, instead of moving it at least to the next house, which is empty. Sure, it could have been any of the people you mentioned but as you say, it's difficult to reason why it would have been any particular one. I think you have to let the police handle the situation. They may be able to find fingerprints on the window or the tin, or something, although you've all touched the tin since, so I would doubt that would be a lot of help. Thinking along the lines of your grandson... if he needed as much as three hundred dollars, would he not ask if you could give or lend him that amount? Would he get himself into bother with somebody that he needed it illicitly? Has he suddenly acquired something new, which you know he couldn't normally afford? I really do doubt that a lad of that age could think he would get away with stealing from you. I know it would give me a terrible sense of guilt stealing from anybody, let alone my own family, who would be sure to know if I'd suddenly acquired a large amount of money. I would think the thing to do here is ask his parents to sit down with him and you for a chat, so that you can either illiminate him from your suspicions or find out why he did that to you. If he did take the money, then his parents have to pay it back, or make him pay it back, from his allowance, or it might well happen again at some point. If guilty, he mustn't be allowed to get away with it. You need to find out, for his sake, as well as your own. I hope you find out who did this. It's not nice when you have neighbours you can't trust either... even the workmen next door, but I would doubt they would be in a trusted job like they are, if they were thieves. I wish you all the luck in the World for getting to the bottom of this, and indeed, finding out that it wasn't your Grandson who took the money. I know it's still a horrible feeling to know that somebody would steal from you, but when it's family that you love and trust so dearly, it's heartbreaking. Brightest Blessings. x
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
Thank you for your support I couldn't even sleep last night, this is really bothering me!
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21591)
7 Aug 07
Yes, I can imagine it would prevent you from sleeping when you don't know who's been in your house. It would make me very uptight too. You know, I've been thinking a lot about this since my response, and really, I know it would upset you to find out that your Grandson stole from you, but if you could find out the truth from him somehow, it might help you to settle more. Ok, it would hurt, but at least you'd know that it wasn't an outsider in your house, and I feel it would help your Grandson too, for the truth to be known, were it him. I can't get my head round how, if you didn't know the money was there, that he would know, though. Something doesn't quite ring true, here. Brightest Blessings, and take care. I hope everything is resolved real soon. x
3 people like this
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
7 Aug 07
yes..that bothered me too...how did he know the $ was there. Now I don't want to add more to this but I have to say it. My ex did not get along with my daughter(his step.) One thing he did a few times and I caught him doing was to hide things and then try to convince me that she had taken them or was being careless with them to justify his dislike of her to me for I was always defending her. Im sorry...you said he was his step grandfather and that he did not like him and that they were arguing and this all just came to mind. i hope i'm wrong.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
7 Aug 07
What you can do is test your grandson on another situation involving a certain amount of money which would make him steal it if really he is the thief. The way is, show him that you have the money. Then make him know where you put the money and make sure nobody else knows about the hiding place except your husband and your grandson. Later, keep an eye on him even at night. Make sure you catch him stealing the money. I am sure a thief would never resist money. In time you will get to know who did it.
3 people like this
• Australia
7 Aug 07
i would have to agree with ladysurvivor on this one, it would be the best way to find out if your grandson has stolen the money, but make sure you include your husband in this so he is there for proof and not your word against the grandson. but it hard when you think you cant even trust family, theres family of mine i have learnt from them stealing money off me that i couldnt trust them, i wasnt going to worry about saying anything its just my parents overheard me and my partner talking about it and my dad got angry and got up the family member who took the money so we now dont talk to that part of the family, and i just dont want you to make this mistake with your grandson, because as you said you would do anything for him
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
He has stole from my husband before but that was when he was younger age, that is why we think he might have did it.
2 people like this
@ayris77 (1304)
• Malaysia
7 Aug 07
My family is so meaningfull for me! So there is no deal to not believe to my own family members! I believe and trust them for infinity percent! I love them very much!
3 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
That is good that is the way it suppose to be with Family!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Aug 07
We've had money stolen from us, it's a horrible feeling when you know there's someone around you who you can't trust. My brother stole money from me, though he denied it I know it was him, he was the only person in the house other than me and he's the only one who knew where it was. My husband had money stolen out of his duffle bag at work, he also knows who it but couldn't prove it. So now he keeps his duffle locked in the car. Then he went around and warned everybody else in the building that there was a thief in the building and to lock up their duffles and purses. If you have to keep cash in the house I would find a better hiding place, one that no one would think of to look. Here's a site that sells window/door alarms pretty cheap. You might want to consider something like this if someone is coming thru the window. It won't stop them from opening the window but the alarm will usually scare an intruder away. http://www.ownfirstalert.com/?tid=2230
3 people like this
@cherriemae (3375)
• Philippines
7 Aug 07
as a general, of course, i trust my family..specially with my parents..for me, family first before anything else because family is always there to comfort you, they always there if you whenever you need them and whatever your problem..you can count on them..
3 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
That is very true, who can you trust if not your family, I am very hurt that it can be My Grandson, I am not for sure though. he came over yesterday, my husband and my grandson have been feuding, so he doesn't come around when my Husband is home, My Husband is his step Granfather but he has know him since he was 4 yrs, old.
2 people like this
@eyewitness (1580)
• Netherlands
7 Aug 07
In a lot of cases children steel money from their parents and grandparents.Even if they get caught.There's a reason why they do it.Once you caught the person,maybe your grandson just ask him why he stole it and why didn't he asked for it. I have this problem with my sister and i told her i'd rather spend money on her than that she would lie to me and steel money from me. Still when something is missing we always look at her,because she still steels sometimes. In this case i would not use police for this matter because it could be a relative. But since it's not sure i think you're doing the right thing. I understand you don't trust him and it's logical.
@Darkwing (21591)
7 Aug 07
Eyewitness... I have to say something here... please forgive me intruding. Whether it's a family member or not, I think these people were right to make a police report. I don't know about anywhere else, but in the UK, we are given the choice to press charges or not to press charges if we find a family member has committed a crime against us. If the grandson did take the money, then he has to know that they're not taking the matter lightly, and he has to suffer the fear of being found out, or his tendency to take money, and possibly other things of value, will continue, or indeed grow. Brightest Blessings.
3 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
That is right, I still think he didn't do it, I talked to him about in hour ago, but everyone thinks he did it.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15508)
• Turkmenistan
8 Aug 07
I don't know about that Darkwing, I don't think that I could send a family member to jail for stealing my money. To me, that is a little bit too harsh.
2 people like this
@balasri (26577)
• India
10 Aug 07
I have my wife and one daughter as my family members.Who else can I trust except these two angels.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
10 Aug 07
That is great!
@balasri (26577)
• India
12 Aug 07
Dear Maria I am immensely happy that you found my response so great.Thanks.
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5060)
• New Zealand
8 Aug 07
Hi there. Off course I trust my family, I have no reason not too... Its really easy to point the finger, when money, and more so, of that amount has been stolen. Sounds like there could be alot of suspects... And just what if your grandson is innocent... Maybe set up a hidden camera and put money around the house or where ever and just see what happens, this is a sure way to catch the culprit, and then confront them... All the best with this situation...
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
9 Aug 07
Thanks, but it is too late to put the camera's in the house now.
1 person likes this
• China
8 Aug 07
i ausolutely trust my family members.Because they all are very honest.we trust each other.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
8 Aug 07
That is great that is the way it suppose to be! Have a great day!
1 person likes this
@coolcrux1 (141)
• India
8 Aug 07
I trust my family members. Might be they have forgot to keep them anywhere else. This is kind of bad habits and it is not related to family trust or not? But I will advise that money matters could be very harmful for breaking the relations. I reckon that you and everyone in family should be very carfull about the money where they are keeping it.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
8 Aug 07
Agree with you if I had of known My husband put the Money there, I would of put it somewhere else. but he never tells me anything.
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Aug 07
It is hard to say because I don't know your grandson at all but if your husband suppects him then he must have a reason for this . I know that in the past I have not wanted to believe that different family members were stealing from us and we found out that it really was someone from our family . As horrible as it sounds the truth is that it could very well be someone from your own family . We always want to be able to trust our family but the truth is that you don't ever really know someone and who better to target especially since you would never want to believe it was someone you knew . I am cynical like this as I have lost so much over the years because I trusted those I shouldn't because I really didn't want to believe but when you are faced with the truth you realize that you never suspected them because they were family or friends and those are the people you turn to when you need help so don't want to even consider that these are the people that would aim to hurt you . Best of luck in finding out who it was and hopefully it was a stranger as it would make you feel better even though you will probably never get the money back , somehow it is easier to blame someone you don't then to have to blame someone you love and care about .
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
9 Aug 07
It really hurts when you know it is a Family Member.
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4548)
• United States
7 Aug 07
It is really hard when something like this happens, but the cold hard fact is that things just don't disappear on their own. I have also had things disappear, and although I am not always entirely certain who took them, I usually have my suspicions. Unless there is proof though, you really can't do much about it. All you can do is stop trusting. I feel bad when I can't trust those that I love, but once they have betrayed my trust, it is hard to trust them again.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
You are so right I went to my Grandson a bout in hour ago, i told him if he took the money, give it back, he looked at me and said Grandma I swear on My father, I didn't take the Money. for some reason I believe him. everyone keep telling me he did it, and don't be stupid.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Aug 07
Sadly, I do not trust my family members. Most of them have done things that have left me with the feeling of uncertainty.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
9 Aug 07
Oh, that is so terrible! we half to trust someone in our family.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12652)
• United States
7 Aug 07
Oh Marcie, I am so sorry this has happened to you. Yes I have had family members steal money from me. Its a horrible feeling. This is what we told the person we suspected. We told them that the police came in and dusted for fingerprints, then we told them later the police told us who did it. At first they were really nervous, then later I told the person the police said that they took it, I had proof. The person never did admit, it took many years before I could trust the person again. Happyly I can now trust the person with anything. The person was a teenager when the theft happened. Good luck, I truly hope it wasn't your grandson.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
It just sounds like a kid would do something like that, I mean not take all the money, I don't know Vicky, I will ask my Spritual Advisor, maybe you don't believe in them but I do, I have been going to them for yrs.
1 person likes this
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
7 Aug 07
i have a brother who i do not
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
You do not Trust. We all have people in our family that we don't trust.
1 person likes this
@stella1989 (2277)
• India
7 Aug 07
There is nothing unusual in this situation...! Some times teeagers do get missleaded by others ..! So there ARE possibilities of you grandson stealing money from you.So there is no harm in NOT trusting your own kid's kid just be cool and do keep a good watch on him to prevent further these kind of things from happening. Because see loving someone does not mean that you go and allow him every thing and pamper him..! And yes there are more chances of that guy who works with your husband to steal the money..!!
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
I just don't know, I cannot say. I will get to the bottom of this. I couldn't sleep all night. I will talk to the guys that were working on the house to see if they saw anything, like My grandson.
1 person likes this
@jothis (519)
• India
7 Aug 07
Defenitly i trust may family. In my view you have to take this problem very seriously. If it was a issue concerned and connected with outside matters its ok. But this is your family problem. Family is one of the greatest strenght of humanbeing. So try to find out actual theft first. If that person is inside your family try to keep this issue in your family itself. And now onwards kep the cash in a safe place. This will be nice.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
My Husband stuck the Money under the Matress and didn't even tell me what he was doing, if he had of told me he put the money there I would of move it to a safer place, I don't care if my house if locked up, I will not put money under My Matress, that is the first place a person looks. If he had of told me what he was doing we would still have the Money because I would of put it in a much safer place.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15508)
• Turkmenistan
7 Aug 07
I am sorry to say that you may be right about your grandson taking it. A thief would have took it all. Only someone who cares would leave some. I would think that if I am going to risk breaking into someone's house and possibly going to jail, I am taking it all. How would anyone else know exactly where to go and look. Was anything else in the room disturbed? Did it look like the thief have to search for a while? Were you missing anything else valuable? Maybe some jewelry? I think you know in your heart who really did it. I hope that it was not your grandson, because I know that it would break your heart. But, if it was him, just know that this is not a rare thing for teenagers to do. Along with whatever punishment you choose, he should also work to pay if off. I hope you are still able to pay your rent and I am very sorry that this has happened to you. I know how stressful it is to know that you have put something somewhere and then find that it is gone.
@marciascott (25563)
• United States
7 Aug 07
I checked to make sure nothing else was stolen, my check-books were still there, all was touched was my husbands money the 3 100 bills.
2 people like this
@sourav9 (122)
• India
7 Aug 07
Of course i trust. There is no doubt I do trust all of my family members. If someone don't trust their family members;then he might also not be trusted by other. It is bidirectional process.And if there is no trust between family members then it is quite difficult to live.
2 people like this