Does spanking work for all kids?

@zandi458 (27953)
Malaysia
August 9, 2007 6:12am CST
Every morning I am awoken by the yell of my neighbor and the cry of children. My neighbor has the fondness of yelling and spanking her children for their disobedience, and it didn't seem to help discipline the kids. Does this approach fail with some children?
11 responses
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
9 Aug 07
I think that in that case its not a matter of it not "working" necessarily..I think its a matter of it being SO frequent the kids are numb to it...AND the fact that screaming and yelling at your child doesnt get through to them...Dont get me wrong, I yell at my kids when they've ticked me off enough BUT once I'm done my rant we sit down and talk it out...my yelling fits are very rare too.. I think your neighbour needs to learn better communication skills with her kids in all honesty...but sadly just thinkin of parents/caregivers like that that I know, chances of her even givin a crap are probably slim to none :-/
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27953)
• Malaysia
10 Aug 07
Ofcourse this is not the best way of disciplining children. Yelling and shouting every day makes them immune,this will only fell on deaf ears. Once they are immune the parents will start canning them. It will eventually lead to child abuse.
@vinzen (1022)
• India
9 Aug 07
Hi, i think this approach will fail with most kids, as after a while of getting beaten or spanked, they get so attuned to this that no matter how much you may spank them, it has no effect on them, resluting in the parents raising their blood pressure! I have raised tow kids and can assure that this does not work,and if right fromthe start you have a different approach to raising kids, and talking, explaining, discussing out things with them, such a situation will never arise. I think kids understand the language of love more than of being rudely spoken to, or hit and no treated well. I understand at times they do get unruly and wont listen etc, but there are other means of punishment, other than raising your hands on them, which deep within harms their psyche too.
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
9 Aug 07
yes it fails on some kids the get so used to it they dont hear it as you do. Now a swat on the bottom when they are very very bad might get their attention.
1 person likes this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
9 Aug 07
I think it would be naive to say that any form of discipline works for every single child, or even every parent. I am a firm advocate for spanking as a discipline tool, although I don't think it should be the only tool a family uses. I use spankings on my 3 year old when he is openly, intentionally defiant, when he looks at me and says NO I will not do what you ask or say, and you can't make me. Then I must make him obey, and a spanking usually changes his attitude quickly. That and when they put themselves in danger (ie running out into the street, or a baby reaching for an uncovered outlet (a baby would recieve a smack on the hand of course..but you get my point)). Otherwise we use time outs, which by the way, he hates more than spankings. It could be with all the yelling and spankings the children recieve, it's no longer a punishment, but how they live, or a part of life. Or they could just be very obstinate, strong willed little children, who love to test the limits, and must be put in line. If they are constantly disobeying, it may be the result of a poor discipline choice, or could just be there age. IT's hard to tell, unless you could watch them for awhile.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27953)
• Malaysia
10 Aug 07
I agree with your form of discipline. Children are always fearful of being canned.
@jalbeos (1176)
• Philippines
9 Aug 07
I don't have kids yet... not married either. I've attended some seminars about dealing with children. I would say that it'll work for all kids but the good thing is, this is with love, I mean, this is with calm voice. This idea will help them realize that you love your kids... and they can easily forget the spank thing. ~mar
@zandi458 (27953)
• Malaysia
9 Aug 07
I agree with you. Some kids can be crushed with nothing more than a stern look. Others seem to require strong and even painful disciplinary measures to make a vivid impression.
@aries_0325 (3062)
• Philippines
13 Jan 08
That is not a proper way. Instead of spanking the children, teach them the good trait. Every children have a unique behavior and a unique attitude toward other. Spanking is not the answer, instead we need to show them the beauty of love and respect, so that she or he know what is a good sign of a good behavior. Beside that we need to show them what we are, if we show that we have a bad attitude, that is an example for them. Having a good parent is having a good children. We are the model of our children and we must show to them.
1 person likes this
@gloria777 (1678)
• India
21 Aug 07
Spaking does not work for all kids. It works only for those kids who have been taught about family & social values, who have been taught discipline and to respect & give regards to their parents and elders. In short we must give them good advice or counselling every day.
1 person likes this
@mistissa (1348)
• Netherlands
10 Aug 07
I have children myself, and believe spanking to be the last option to discipline your children. I discipline my children by taking away priorities, no tv, or no icecream, no sweets, that kind of stuff
1 person likes this
@shakeroo (3991)
• Malaysia
10 Aug 07
Excessive physical punishments normally do more damage than good to the kids. There are many other ways to bring up a child without having to result to extreme physical punishment. Most of the times, such as showing good examples to the child would normally yield better results since it is very likely that a child would grow up by following what are shown to them by the parents...
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
10 Aug 07
That has to be awful to hear every morning of your life. I think I'd have to put a note on her door letting her know she's being heard all around the neighborhood to please tone it down some. As for the spanking, it really depends on the child and what the bad deed was if it works or not. I don't agree with beating any child at all but spanking isn't so bad. I was spanked as a child and I turned out to be ok.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Aug 07
there should be a reason for spanking children..now if this neigbor just got a habit of spanking because she was just annoyed and the children didn't do anything then its what to call abuse..spanking my a manner of disciplining children means they did a mistake that will teach them a lesson not to do it anymore..a mistake that is a big deal and not just a mistake most children do..children are known to be annoying at times but it would not be a reason to spank kids..understandable that the parent could have been tired and sick of stress and sometimes it may occur but not most of the time..i have seen some who got spank who grew up well and there are those who did not grew up well enough because the spanking was made in the wrong way..we must remember that spanking must have a good reason and must be done in the right way.
1 person likes this