Should I approve a new friend who doesn't have very many posts?

United States
September 4, 2007 3:48am CST
As I was going over some of my more recent friend requests, I noticed at least three requests from other very new My Lot members who had less than ten posts to their credit. And, while it's my policy to approve everyone as a friend and then later sort through them to delete the spammers, I just couldn't bring myself to say yes to these newbies. I've seen newbies come and go in this place and some never even reach 100 posts. And, I'm worried that my friendship list will get filled up with these fly-by-nights who aren't interested in sticking around. I would like to know what everyone else does when it comes to friendship requests on My Lot. If someone doesn't have a lot of posts under their belt, is it wise to approve them as a friend? Or, would it be better to wait on their friendship request until they are tried and true members and have proven that they are going to stick around and keep posting no matter what? What would you do?
12 people like this
30 responses
@bagumbayan (2707)
• Philippines
5 Sep 07
Why not. Dont be choosy, those new members and wanted to make friends with you, in due time they will have the time to respond and discussed with you topics on this lot. As long as he/she is discussing on subject matters opened by you then accept her/him, however if she/he is getting over board then tell him and end your friendship with him/her. As a beginner she/he still doesnt know what to do to have more friends. I also dont have much time to discussed with some members, I am also working and most of the time I am busy but I tried to write short discussions with the subject that interest me.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Sep 07
Well, then perhaps, I will open the door to more newbie friends. I was thinking the same thing earlier, that perhaps some of the newbies don't have lots of posts because of outside jobs and such, through no fault of their own. But adding a newbie as a friend might encourage them to stick around longer to make even more friends and do more posts. Thanks for dropping by and best of luck with your first 100! Wow! I remember those days fondly. Frantically typing, trying to reach the 100 mark and then onto 500 where you can copy/paste. Funny how I rarely use the copy/paste feature anymore. Thanks for dropping by. Add me as a friend!
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
4 Sep 07
I have a request in my thing also for a new member with very little posts. I don't want to be rude and not approve them, but like you said, people come and go on here and I don't want a bunch on inactive friends. So I am waiting awhile and see if they post anything that I am interested in or if they respond to my discussions. Otherwise I won't approve them, if we have nothing in common then I don't think there is a point.
• United States
6 Sep 07
Yes the same with me as well. Sometimes I will wait a week or two and if the little number beside their username never changes then I will know that they are not a serious My Lot member. Saves me lots of time and headaches.
1 person likes this
@wonderful1 (2076)
• China
4 Sep 07
if you want to like him/her, then aprrove his/her request. i dont' why you pay more attention to the amount of his/her posts. till now i had never refuse any request, but if he/she doesn't log in again, then i will delete him/her from my friends. thanks to my friends, they are kind to give me some responses, then i can earn money easily. so approve all your request, then you can delete some of them inactive.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Sep 07
Will do!
1 person likes this
4 Sep 07
by golly! if everyone has your outlook im jolly well snookered and may as well give up now! you have such a delightful picture so i am sure you will be so kind as to honour me with your friendship and i promise in return to pop by every now and then and reply to one of your discussions. Go on! lets see if i can make you break your rule!
2 people like this
@vega83 (6346)
• Bahrain
4 Sep 07
Why not? I approve friends instantly. Not everywhere, but only in my lot. The truth is the more friends you have here the better. It means more discussions to respond to and easily find in the "discussions your friends started", more responses to your own discussions, and it means that the new users get some friendly help from an old user. I encourage you to accept new user requests. This is not really like those networking sites, where it's best to choose your friends based on interests and common ground, here the more the merrier. If you have new users that you accept as friends, then you are more likely to respond to their discussions and then they are more likely to stay since most people leave when they get frustrated with zero responses on their discussions. Plus there is no way of knowing here, what the person is like when you add them here, unlike other sites where you can see everyone's bio. The most you can expect is a username and an avatar, so instead of choosing why not give everyone a chance?
• United States
5 Sep 07
Very good advice from the both of you. I had not thought about that. Some of my requests have only a few digits beside their username and have been at the site for more than a month. However, I should remember that not everyone has a lot of time to be online. So, best to add them and not judge harshly. When they do have time to be online, they will see that I am their friend and drop by more often. Good tip!
2 people like this
@vega83 (6346)
• Bahrain
6 Sep 07
yeah, plus you never know what kind of discussers they are, I mean everyone of us has been a new user at some point. But sometimes people come from other forums and they are just as likely to start good meaningful discussions here as well, maybe they've been blogging for longer than we've been posting. The only way to assess them would be to give them a chance and find out for yourself. There's not harm in it.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 07
That's an excellent and very intelligent point about bloggers. For years, I was a website designer and blogger and had never heard about this place. And, when I joined, it did take me awhile to get the hang of the place. So, perhaps I am judging newbies too harshly. Will try to be more open minded. Thanks for the reminder. The Internet is the biggest hometown on the planet. No reason to start alienating the neighbors, right?
2 people like this
@smacksman (6074)
4 Sep 07
I make a special point of accepting them as a friend and then welcoming them personally to mylot and wishing them luck and trusting that they will enjoy themselves and have fun here. I then go on to briefly give them a tutorial on how to use mylot ans stress that only quality posts of 50 plus words will earn anything and how the star system works after 100 posts and paid pictures after 500 posts and so on. I finally end up with an offer to answer any questions they might have - that is I can answer the question! I have worked hard to get over 1,000 new members here and each one I have invited to be a friend so that we could communicate. Most have accepted and many keep up a correspondance. Very few are still active but that is the way the internet works. OK, I make a few dollars in commission but I earn more in an hour at work than I do in a month here so I don't do it for the money. If we can all communicate in this world we are part way to world peace and welcoming someone here as a friend is one tiny step in that direction.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1915)
• Jamaica
5 Sep 07
I like your stuff. You make a new person like me feel warm inside. You would make a good HR person. I love to meet people so to me it does not matter whether they have the intention to stick around or not. I just talk to them, leve messages for them and hope too that they will find something and someone worthwhile here. I always thought internet frienships where fake but I am not fake so why should I not think the sme of the next person. People need friends and I love friends. Add me please.
1 person likes this
@smacksman (6074)
5 Sep 07
With the greatest of pleasure, Sharon.
1 person likes this
• Romania
4 Sep 07
This is your decision. But here is an important thing: not all users with many posts is good, like not all users with few posts is bad. The number of posts doesn't describe a people.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Sep 07
Very deep logic! And, well said. Many words does not make much wisdom.
1 person likes this
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
4 Sep 07
of course, even if they have little post you should still approve them if they request you to be their friends.
1 person likes this
• China
4 Sep 07
i agree with you, especially for beginner like me.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
4 Sep 07
I always accept and approve a new friend who invites me. I think that this way we can make our friend circle bigger abd bigger with more responses when we post a new discussion. I don't worry about their not being active on mylot if they don't have the time. Besides, I think that there is no limit for us to have as many friends as we accept on the friendlist. Like the saying, "The more friends you have, the easier you find things done when help is offered by your friends."
• United States
6 Sep 07
That's very sweet! I have never heard that before. I have taken everyone's advice on approving as many friends as possible and even requested many friendships since this discussion was posted. And, now I am finding way more discussions to respond to easily. And, way more friends at each discussion. Always nice to chat with friends, don't you think?
1 person likes this
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
7 Sep 07
I have a real hard time accepting friend requests when the member doesn’t have many posts either- I wonder why do they want to be my friend?? What interests could we share? If I answered a discussion of theirs – I am more inclined to accept- but if I didn’t and haven’t seen them prior- then I don’t accept. Especially if they have few posts- I figure do your time first—get some discussions and responses under your belt- and then ask.
• Philippines
5 Sep 07
In my case, I will accept them. Why not, everyone deserves a chance. When I was a beginner, I also have less posts. But if the other mylotters did not give the chance to move on by accepting me as a friend or by accepting my request to become their friends. hersmart4ever wont be on the third page of the top users by rating.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
5 Sep 07
I go to their probile and check out what they have done. If I think they would make a good friend, I approve, if not, deny.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56531)
• Delhi, India
5 Sep 07
I think your appraoch cannot be termed as wrong. I have also experienced that some newbies send me the request for friendship, but later on I do not see them participating in my discussions. I would very much love them to particpate in my discussions, I think, they sent the request because they were interested in me and my topics. I normally do not reject any request for friendship, but after sometime, say after one month, if I do not find the persons who are in my friends'list, participating in my discussions, or vice versa, I delete their names. Becauase I think a friendship cannot blossom, untill and unless there is some kind of interaction going on between friends. It is up to you to accept or reject them, but I think on a positive note, you can give a chance to them (new members) to become your friends. We should always remember, when we joined here, initially, we were also 'new' and we did not have many posts to our credit at that time, but some of the senior members did allow us to be their 'friends', so we should not discourage newbies altogether, but after accepting their request we should watch and observe them, if we do not find them to be 'active' enough, we always have the choice to delete their names from friends' list. p.s. - Meanwhile, I have sent you a request for 'friendship'! I have seen some of your discussions and I feel impressed with your discussions and replies. Have a nice day!
@mavisbike (1528)
• United States
5 Sep 07
that is toatally up to you
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
5 Sep 07
I find it hard to accept people to be my friend, but it is not because they do not have many posts. It is that I do not want to be any vicious arguments between differences of opinions. I do think it would be easier if I did accept everybody who requests it, but then I start to think, what if that person and I were totally at odds, and one or both of us decided to delete the other person. I do try to read some of their posts and usually I do put them on my friend's list. So someone who does not post that many finds it easier for me to accept them as there is not that many posts to go through.
@Sharon38 (1915)
• Jamaica
5 Sep 07
I am new here but I would give them a chance. Some people are looking for friendships so what have you got to lose?
1 person likes this
@Ricko82 (585)
• Philippines
5 Sep 07
If no one else will try them in the first because they have only very few posts, then who ever add them as a friend? We have all been a beginner here in myLot once, and someone out there helped us by adding us to their list of friends even though we very few discussions. I guess it's our turn to help out these new comers too. Who knows we might just be giving them enough incentive to stick around and become a regular myLot user. Just delete them if they don't prove to be useful members, but in the meantime, we have to trust that they too wants to stay here in myLot for good.
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
5 Sep 07
Well there were tons of people who didn't think I would stick around or that I was worth it. Some still don't think as much (I'm no newbie .
1 person likes this
@Calais (10900)
• Australia
4 Sep 07
Its totally up to you..But of late, I have been going off my gut feelings, and usually I am right..If the profile dosnt look legit then I will reject them, but its unfair to just because they have only a few responses under their belt..That when I just investigate their profile see when they joined and what their responses were etc...
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 Sep 07
I tend to allow anyone who asks me as I don't figure it really matters if they stay or not , at least for the length of time that they are with MyLot they will see my posts and may take the time to answer to one or two of them and even if they don't it doesn't really bother me . You never know when someone could turn out to be a really good friend or someone who will take the time to respond to your post and I don't want anyone to feel they were not welcome because everyone felt that they should wait to see what a person was like but we all have our own way of deciding if we want to agree to someone's request so I feel you should go on what works best for you and how you feel on this because if this later means going through your list and wasting a day on getting rid of those that you don't want on your list this is going to take up a lot of your time that you wouldn't have had to do if you waited to see if they were going to stay or not or if you were interested in what they had to say . Take Care .
1 person likes this