Leaving a marriage

you already know what i think but i'm gonna write it anyways because other people can see it. i think it is commendable of you to get the courage to leave the idiot and tho the divorce is going to be a battle and is going to be very hard for you to deal with once those papers are signed you will be free... free to do what ever you want. he will no longer be able to hurt you unless you let him and i know you won't let him and you have friends out there that won't let him either. keep your head up the best is yet to come.

hmmm...from other marriages, I would say that they can't leave each other because of the kids. They usually stay together for the kids. but for your situation...hmmm...I guess for him, its part ego...he doesn't want to be left behind. He'll be less of a man if you leave him.

He obviously hasn't accepted this situation. I agree with the poster who was concerned about what would happen when the divorce went through - I hope you have a good safety plan in place. I think it would be hard for anyone to accept the breakup of a marriage, even if they were the one who caused it. It's commendable that you are leaving your abusive ex, a lot of women don't and it's very sad.

Well strangly enough he probably doesn't believe that you will actually follow through. My ex didn't. Didn't believe I would ever leave him. Even when the divorce papers showed up. He thought he could woo me back and bought me a new car and everything. I considered it my divorce present from him and took it when I left. It's 28 years later and he just told my daughter he wishes things were back the way they used to be and he had is whole family back. Yikes! Hope he wakes up. I am not going back! Good luck and I am so glad you left an abusive relationship.

I have no idea, I wish i knew. He should get over it already. Tell him to go ahead and fight it. It will only look bad on him. Id ask him if he wants the truth to come out about why your marriage is ending. Your right no judge would make you stay married. I dont think they can do that anyways. Good luck with your divorce.

Dear Butterfly, firstly i would like to say sorry for what happen to you. I guess you have made the right choice of what you need in your life. You have given him all what he wants and what he needs from you and he hurt you.. its not fair. I believe being in a family must have love, care, understanding and sharing. When you do all this.. and if he cant do that.. well i guess u have made your right choice to leave him. Life must go on.. I guess he must feel shame when you said you wanted to divorce him and asked him to sign the papers. That why he might have said that he will fight for it.. He might thought that you might not do this.. maybe this surprises him about your capabilities.. and i'm sure.. he will come up with something to convince you not to proceed.. but Are you wanted to be hurt again, do u think he wont repeat what he did to you? Maybe you wanted to ask your friends, neighbors or someone who knows his attitude.. what will they say? will they ask you to stay on or ask you to leave him?.. Do you really think he can keep you happily after this..if you withdraw you divorce? you have to think all this before you proceed.. u know the answers well.. For the last question that i post above.. Let me tell you.. Do u think he can keep you happily after this..if you withdraw your divorce.. well i think.. u gonna suffer more after this.. not all works out better.. because now he already knows your capabilities.. and he will try to lock you in a way you really cant move.. and every step you make you will be watch by him.. DO YOU REALLY NEED THIS.... I guess you and your future is more important now.. God Bless You

some people cant end the marriage may be because they have children may be because they live together for along time and it will be hardly to leave each other

That's the problem with some guys. Once you marry them, they think they can do whatever they want because you would never leave them anyway. Respect for each other should always be maintained and obviously if your husband was abusing you then he doesn't respect you. So for me you're definitely doing the right thing. Though there are weak women who can't seem to leave their abusive partners, I'm glad you're not one of them. You're a good example to others.

first, it's sad to hear that things didn't work for you and your husband...but then again, you don't deserve to be hurt by someone like him and getting out of the relationship was the best thing you did... probably in time he will learn to accept reality that you are over with him and that the drama's in your life together has come to its end.... goodluck to the divorce process, i am positive you'll get what you want and surely you will be happy again and be back to your old self...free from him and free from worries of being hurt abusively again....

It's good to hear that you didn't just keep taking the abuse.I'm always hearing about how how much women stay in the relationship even after they almost get killed.Good for you.

some people want to fight to keep a relationship. I would fight for my relationship. I am married to my wife and want to stay that way forever. No reason in the world would want me to separate with her. of course, I am not abusing my wife. Perhaps your husband wants a second chance. that he could prove to you that he can change for the better and he could stop abusing you already. but stick with your plan. get a divorce and find new happiness. Good luck.

its realy up to you.if you still have the feeling to him. goodluck dear.

Very true there is no point of thinking of staying again with that guy at any cost. You are not comfortable with him and still he is calling you. He is not generous even to think that you are not feeling easy with him. I suggest if he calls again complain against him in police.