Which form is more harmful?

@dpk262006 (53765)
Delhi, India
October 6, 2007 4:35am CST
Dear friends what is your opinion about physical and verbal abuse? Which of them could be more damaging to you verbal abuse of physical abuse? Which one of the two makes you feel worse? Do you feel that physical abuse hurt your sentiments more than the verbal abuse? Please share your thoughts with me. Thanks in advance.
6 people like this
34 responses
@stella1989 (2277)
• India
6 Oct 07
People always say that verbal abuse is the worst thing..! BUt I can not stand physical abuse. I can always forget the verbal abuse but physical abuse is the thing that raises my nerves up..!! I get real mad when any body hits me including my parents also..!! It dosen't matter me a bit if some one is yelling at me...yes some times it does but I can always let it pass away but physical abuse is some thing I cannot forget all of my life. It really affects me a lot. I still remember how many times my parents slapped me...yes that was for my goodness only they only wanted to correct me up but I cannot forget there slaps at all..!! That is why I hate physical abuse.
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
I think that you suffered physical abuse more than the verbal abuse, that is why you rate physical abuse more harmful than the vertbal abuse. Thanks for responding. ++++++++++ rated.
2 people like this
• India
8 Oct 07
Yes ..in my childhood my father is a real angry man..! And now I am exactly like him. A real angry girl..! NOw I don't even allow my own father to abuse me!! lol.. thats true..! :)
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
9 Oct 07
Now, you cannot defend yourself and do not allow your father to physically abuse, that is great on your part. I support your attitude. Kudos to you. Deepak
2 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
6 Oct 07
Hello deepak, Did you mean physical hurts or physical abuse? I am not sure. Taking that what you meant was physical hurts, I am sure that I would go for emotional pains which result from verbal abuse. We cannot measure the amount of pains brought about by verbal abuses, can we? No one can measure the depth and ppl kind of overlook and underrate as this is not visible. While physical hurts (as in accidents or physical emergencies) are noticeable and we all can get to the pain of it. However, deepak, if you mean, which one i would choose between 'physical abuse' or 'verbal abuse', I would go for verbal abuse. For it's minus the physical torture. On the contrary, physical abuse involves both mental and physical pain, which, I guess would be far more difficult to bear. That's how I feel. How are you today?
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
I think my intention was to point out towards physical hurt (I understand 'physical abuse' would cover more than that). I agree that the effect of verbal abuse can be felt only by the person who gets effected by it. You would agree that only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. My opinion is that the verbal abuse can be more damaging than the physical hurt, if one is suffering both, then it would really be a very bad situation.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
8 Oct 07
Yes, you have got my point. I just hope no one has to withstand it all. It's devastating. smiles..
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
9 Oct 07
Hope our wishes could come out true! Alas!
@angemac23 (2006)
• Canada
6 Oct 07
I think verbal abuse is much more harmful than physical. The wounds from physical abuse heal, but the wounds from verbal abuse stay with you.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
I agree with your views sometime verbal abuse can have long lasting effect on one's mind.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 08
I agree. the emotional things never go away they stay with you. And even if there is love and there just said out of anger its always in the back of your mind wondering if they really ment that.
@MarieJ23 (1041)
• United States
7 Oct 07
Verbal abuse is more disastrous than physical abuse. Once the bruise is gone, there's no more marks left but all the things that have said and heard by us will be difficult to withdrawn from the person's mind. Verbal abuse could even be worst when it happened to kids because they will tend to think that they are what the older people said about them. The tendency is they are gonna bring it as they grow up.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
17 Oct 07
Thanks for your response. I also believe abuse is abuse, but I think verbal abuse can be more damaging, also it will depend upon person being abused. I agree with your views. :):)
@MarieJ23 (1041)
• United States
17 Oct 07
You're right...whatever the form is, I hate to know someone is being abused or has abused someone. It makes my blood pressure rise up.
@arkaf61 (10891)
• Canada
7 Oct 07
Both are quite harmful and in my opinion verbal abuse can hurt as much as physical abuse if not more sometimes. I did not really know much about either until I got married. I learned about it after at the hands, or rather mouths of my in laws. THey were always very depreciative of me and everything I did or say. Because I had never experienced such thing I was at a loss of what to do. At first I used to take it, thinking to myself that it was my husband's family and i didn't want to create problems between them. But after a long time where I lost my self confidence several times over, I decided it was not acceptable and stopped taking any abuse from them.
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
I agree with your views that verbal abuse as well as physical both are damaging but verbal abuse is more damaging. Thanks for responding.
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
You have been a victum of abuse, so you can understand the position and you have commented accordingly. +++++++++++ rated.
@balasri (26577)
• India
7 Oct 07
Very tough one dpk.Verbal is hurting and the physical one is humiliating I think.The degree varies.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
I agree with your views that verbal abuse as well as physical both are damaging but verbal abuse is more damaging. Thanks for responding.
@balasri (26577)
• India
8 Oct 07
It is always a pleasure dpk.
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Hello deepak! I can take a verbal abuse but physical abuse? Oh no! It's very painful and I don't want to be beaten up or someone who will make me as his punching bag. That's what I said to my husband. There are 2 things I can't tolerate in our relationship. It's cheating and physical abuse.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
1 Apr 09
Hello! Aisa! I can understand your view point. However, I feel that both forms of abuse are hurting and can cause mental agony for a long period. Physial abuse sometimes could be forgotten, however verbal abuse keep lingering in our mind for long. Cheating can also harm badly, specially between partners. Thanks for sharing and joining!
• United States
1 Nov 07
i feel the verbal abuse wins over here He has gottoen me to the point I am almost scared to talk I cant make decisions I cant defend myself against him I keep wanting everyone to stay away so they dont hear him yelling at me because I an so embarrassed I hate waking in the morning cause I know it will start all over again He watches me 24/7 so I have no out I wish he would beat me so he can see what hes doing maybe that would help
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
7 Nov 07
I can understand your feelings and feel touched and moved after reading your response...verbal abuse can do more harm..I have also faced it sometimes. Be bold and positive and come out with your thoughts, you will succeed. All the best! Thanks for sharing!
@pinklilly (3446)
• Australia
16 Oct 07
I find verbal abuse more damaging.especially to your self esteem... I have lived through verbal abuse and it is very painful. I watch my mum go through both verbal and physical abuse, and she still cops verbal abuse from my brother. It's not nice any kind of abuse... There seems to be more verbal than physical nowadays and alot of the people giving the verbal abuse don't even realise how much it does really hurt the person they are giving it too....
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
17 Oct 07
Hi! Dear! Thanks for your wonderful response. I also believe abuse is abuse, but I think verbal abuse can be more damaging, also it will depend upon person being abused. I agree with your views. Have a nice day! :):)
• India
8 Oct 07
Hi deepak, I feel both are equally harmful and somewhat intertwined. Abuse can be said to take place between two unequal persons i.e. two people of equal strength and position who are fighting it out amongst themselves, cant be said to abuse one another. It is only when someone in an advantageous position hurts a less priviledged person emotionally, physically or financially, we can say an abuse has taken place. So if we shout at our housemaid for every saucer she breaks and threaten to ‘adjust’ her salary, we are abusing her verbally (while the same saucer may any day break from my hand). Without actually hitting her, we are creating a situation for her where her anger at our privileged position and her frustration at her own disadvantage starts building up inside her. We are hitting at her pride, her sense of self-dignity and that is definitely abuse. On the other hand, I am hitting my son or my younger sibling or someone on the road, say a poor cart-pusher. My child or my younger sibling may be too naïve to understand verbal abuse but once I hit him/her, I am again hitting out at his/her pride and self-respect. S/he cannot hit me back coz of the ‘elder’ factor in my favour, but it certainly causes a lot of trauma and sense of injustice inside. Similarly for the poor cart-pusher (thelawala) and other people from the lowest strata of our society. They are well aware of their position in the social ladder and centuries of brainwashing has made them accept their fate without protest. Even then, when someone from the privileged strata hit out at them, they cant always retaliate but ‘feel’ the insult deep inside. So I believe an abuse, whether physical or verbal, causes equal harm to the inner soul of the person it is aimed at. Sudipta
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@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
Sudipta, need I say you stole the show by replying to the discussion so beautifully! You really did. On most of the points I will have to but agree with your views. You mean to say that effect of every 'abuse' would definitely be damaging and we abuse a person or persons who are at slightly lower than us either by virtue of seniority or by virute of financial position. I agree that the effect of verbal abuse can be felt only by the person who gets effected by it. You would agree that only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. My opinion is that the verbal abuse can be more damaging than the physical hurt, if one is suffering both, then it would really be a very bad situation. Thanks for one of the most touching and excellent responses. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ rated. Deepak :):) Have a nice day.
@ssh123 (31104)
• India
6 Oct 07
I feel abuse is a abuse and it hurts. I feel verbal is more harmful than the physical. There are some people argue that let me say what one wants to say, let them not touch me!! So opinion is divided and fortunately I have not been put into this situation of verbal or physical, except during school days,
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
Thanks for your response. I also believe abuse is abuse, but I think verbal abuse can be more damaging, also it will depend upon person being abused. :):)
@aidonia (4210)
• Greece
6 Oct 07
I'm not sure if we can or if it's right to compare any kind of abuse but as much I believe both hurt a lot I also believe is little more easy to heal the from physical abuse.After all the body heal soon or late but the soul?Can you heal the soul? PS:I hope you are fine.Long time to talk....
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
I agree with your views that verbal abuse can have long lasting effect on one's mind. I agree with you that no one can heal the soul. Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. Thanks for responding. +++++++++++++++++ rated.
@subathra (3519)
• India
6 Oct 07
To say which is more harmful..then its certainly physical abuse..which hurts one mentally and creates wounds..I consider both abuses are bad as it creates a mark in heart and stays as bitter memory always.But worse is physical abuse undoubtedly.. When i was young once i had a big fight over a geometric box with my elder brother..when we had heated arguments finally he hit me so badly that still i can never forget as i had a scare mark left..eventhough we had so many tussles in those childhood days this one lies in my memory due to the scare caused by physical abuse..
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
Suba, your assessment is based on yur personal expierance which you suffered in your childhood and childhood memories do not erase easily. So for you physical abuse is more harmful. Thanks for responding.:):)
• China
6 Oct 07
Hello,friend, Actually both of them will hurt me baddly As for physical abuse it will hurt my physical ,my bodys ,of course hurt my feelings. As for verbal abuse I can't say it will less hurt me ,actually ,it will also hurt me the same as physical abuse,sometimes evern more inbearable than verbal abuse they can hurt me in mental which is not easily removed as for physical buse. so I should say both of them has its harmful aspect. but in my opinion verbal effects me more than physical,maybe this is because of I haven't experience some bad events from physical abuse,I have already suffered from verbal abuse.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53765)
• Delhi, India
8 Oct 07
I respect your views and I agree that it will depend upon person to person....for you both types of abuse can be damaging. But verbal abuse can be more damaging in my view.
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 07
Hi dpk262006, I think both are harmful. Physical abuse sometimes causes permanent physical scars while verbal abuse causes permanent emotional scars.
1 person likes this
@jaichen (142)
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
verbal abuse hurt more... it cuts deep into your heart and it is hard to heal without the complete understanding of the word forgiveness... physical abuse, the wounds heal fast...
1 person likes this
@weehihi (132)
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
for me, they both hurt but i think what's more hurtful is the verbal abuse..physical abuse's markings will fade, you'll only get physically hurt by that..but verbal abuse hits you right to the core..tongue is mightier than a sword remember..it hurts more to be told you're like this or that, or you're no good for him or her or you dont do any good to anybody or whatever..so i think it hurts more to be verbally abused than to be beaten out of my wits..hehehe
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Oct 07
They are both bad, but I think that physical is worst of all.
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@CaitBaby (447)
• United States
6 Oct 07
As someone who has been abused in both ways, I still would have to say verbal/emotional abuse is the most painful and has the worst longterm effects. Both leave unforgettable scars. My father was the one who abused me. I suffered the physical abuse as a child, but now he is really laying the verbal abuse on hard. I have never been so hurt in my life as I am right now.
@Sheribabe (446)
• United States
6 Oct 07
Both can harm a person in ways that can not be forgotten. It's weird the things you remember from in your childhood that may have been said to you. And you may remember something that was done to you. ABUSE is wrong no matter how it comes at you. I'm not sure one can be worse than the other. It's like saying being a little pregnant. Wrong is wrong. You know what I mean. :) You can't really say which is worse.
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