With all the roles that women fullfill, why do we learn to hate ourselves?

@sharone74 (4839)
United States
November 11, 2007 3:45am CST
Why do women choose to judge themselves based on male based criteria which have very little to absolutely no basis in our value or worth socially or spiritually. If a woman is a stay at home mom, this does not lower either her value to her family nor the contribution that she is making. It cannot be balanced in a monetarily based fashion nor can her contribution be argued to be less in relation to the contributions of her spouse to provide financially for his family. To be able to stay home and raise your own children rather than allowing strangers to do it while both parents struggle to attain career oriented goals, is a priveledge. For both parents, their children and the family unit as a whole. The contribution that each parent makes to remain this way is different but equally valuable? Iin the final analysis. Correct? So why do so many women feel unfulfilled and unlovable if they are not a size 2 or 4 and they don't neccessarily conform to the supermodel image. They are more lovable for their realness and their own personal inner qualities which should be nurtured rather than shunned and ignored. Do you not agree?
1 person likes this
5 responses
• United States
11 Nov 07
all of this is true. But i think that the reason why we do is because this is what most men are attracted to..i did say most not all.lol but anyway yeah this is what most men are attrakted to and the ones who like us even though we dont look like that are few and far inbetween.
@chamberd1 (240)
• United States
11 Nov 07
Women and guys suffer from the same physical image frailty. I used to want to be 6'6" and weight 350lbs. of solid muscle. Being 5'10" @ 180lbs. is a big dissapointment. However I have studied martial arts for naerly 20 yrs. and have come to realize that being that large in a street fight is a hinderance not a benefit. Yes a family is supposed to be about sharing, cooperation, and coordination. This one of the things wrong with our families and the root of the problems with individuals/ society. Being overweight is not realness. For the most part inner quallities are expressed outwardly. This is expresed in how well you maintain your physical, mental and spiritual health. Those who are trully healthy are the most able to deal with reality (realness).
@braided (698)
• Canada
11 Nov 07
Rereading your question ... why do women hate themself and not give themself credit ... mmm well i think it goes far deeper than being a housewife or not ... it stems back on how we were treated ... our mothers may have helped us feel that cause they hated themselves and what they were doing ... maybe they didnt like staying at home and raising kids ... who knows .. but it was definitely passed down ... I shouldnt generalize so i will make it more personal cause i cant speak for all women but i can speak for me ... i tried to be superwoman ..for sure ... super mom ..super wife ... super at anything i tried to do when it came to my home and family and even myself ... i had to look good i had act right and had to do all the right things to feel good about myself .. even down to my kids they had to look good and act right cause they were an extension of me and my image would be tainted if it wasnt right ... but it was more than image i really wanted everything to be right and good ... But alas ... nothing can ever be perfect .. now where did that perfect tendency come from .. well looking back i can see my mom was very critical .. judgemental etc and all i wanted to do was make her love me ... and go figure ... she loved me but couldnt show it cause she was so hurt herself ... so there ya have it ... its a circle that just keeps going around and around til someone and get a grasp or handle on it and change it for the next generation ....
@braided (698)
• Canada
11 Nov 07
Absolutely I agree with that .... Now on the other hand ... I think if woman wants to stay home she should definitely be seen as a contributing factor to the whole and not viewed as it is duty so to speak and that it is expected of her ... Do people realize how much it would cost for someone to come into the home and take care of children, cook meals, clean, organize, decorate, manage a home etc etc etc. But they usually dont look at it that way ... they expect that of a woman ... I did it for 12 years ... put my career on hold to do that ... but when my marriage didnt work out because i had made a poor choice in a man .... I had to do it all ... now I had to go back to school ... jugg a job, school, manage a household and raise my children with no support financial or emotional ... so was it really a good idea to put myself on the back burner to raise my kids and take care of a house .... thinking back now ... no I should have had a career to fall back on ... because I started my life at 36 .... and its a lot harder starting that late with kids... oh well its all good ...
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
11 Nov 07
I agree totaly with you. But for some reason we let the out sideers dictate our worth. It is the same with how we should look. We let our friends inflounance what we should do or not do. I don't understand why we do this. But it seems to start at a very young age. We as women are worth a lot but need to have otheres put value on us.