staring eyes.....
By SUMM3R
@SUMM3R (18)
United States
December 19, 2007 10:57am CST
Do you ever go to the store and have one of you kids start screaming because you told them no or just because they are tired or for whatever reasons.... and all of a sudden you have a ton of staring eyes on you. Do people not get that sometimes kids get upset?? They act like they have never heard a child cry. Do you every feel like walking up and saying "Hey, Do you think you could do any better?" or " What the hell are you looking at? Have you never heard a child cry?" or "Can i help you with something?" It just drives me so crazy because the world acts like children are not supposed to get upset and they arent supposed to cry. What is the best way to handle something like this? I just want to walk up ans slap all those people.
2 people like this
9 responses
@abhi_destar (764)
• India
19 Dec 07
The thing you've got to realize is that just like children aren't supposed to behave in any other way, likewise, people are also not supposed to act in any other way. They will stare at you when your child cries out, no matter how exasperated you feel because of that. You cannot change the ways of the world. The best policy is to just ignore them and concentrate on calming down your child.
2 people like this
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
19 Dec 07
I understand what you mean, but maybe if you look at it in a different way it might help. (You don't say what age your child is, but I'm assuming it's probably a toddler.) People will ALWAYS look when a child is crying and you're out and about. For one, it's just human nature, and a mothering instinct, or a protective instinct, of sorts. A child cries, and the world notices wanting to make sure the child is safe, or if they're just throwing a tantrum. If they didn't look, in my opinion it would be a worse statement on the world. What if a child was being abducted and crying because the person was NOT mommy or daddy? It wouldn't be right to turn your eyes when a child cries, for there may be something more going on than meets the eye. If a child is old enough to understand no, and rebel against it, it's time to take them out of the store, and soon they'll learn that no means no and they can't get their own way just because of tears. All children get upset out in public sometimes, and people will stare, like it or not. Getting a bad attitude over it just makes the child more tense and he/she will probably fuss even more. Focus your calm energy into calming the child and just try to ignore those who continue staring. Good luck, and try not to get so upset.
1 person likes this
@lbinkley (1075)
• United States
19 Dec 07
You know, I never really looked at it from your standpoint, and you make an excellent point about making sure the child isn't being abducted. I never thought of that, but it's nice to know that there are people out there that DO think like you do and would check it out. However, I must say that I don't agree with having to leave a store when my child gets fussy. My husband is only home once every three weeks, so for 2/3 of the year I am basically a single parent. I can't get a sitter every time I need to go to the store, nor can I just up and leave when I am at the store getting necessities. I do think there is a point when other people need to mind their own usiness, because when the staes get obvious my son notices, and he puts on more of a show. Really. And I have had some people be extremely RUDE about it. I was out with my son while I was pregnant with my daughter. He had an ear infection and we were getting some groceries while waiting for his prescription to be filled. He was very fussy, but I couldn't leave the store because I needed his meds, and I live out in the country. Too inconvenient to come back to the store later to get those meds. At any rate... he was just fussy and sick, not really being naughty, and I had an older women (older than me anyway) I would say in her 40's or so come up to me and tell me that I needed to control my son, and that I didn't look old enough to have him anyway, let alone be pregnant with another one. WOW. HOW RUDE! First off, he was just crying because his ear hurt and he wanted to go home. Second, I am 25 years old and was married for about a year before my son was born! Why do people get so rude about that?
@lbinkley (1075)
• United States
19 Dec 07
This happens to me all the time, as I have a 4 year old and a 4 month old. I will go to the store with both of them and if it isn't my son whining that he wants the latest and greatest toy, or the kind of soup with cartoon characters on the label, it is my daughter crying because she hates being in the carrier on the cart if we are at a standstill. I just can't win. And EVERY time I go to the store it happens, those evil glares from everyone. And it never ends. I especially get these stares when my son acts up. But you know what? It's not like you can discipline your child in public anymore either!!! You will get reported for child abuse! It's a lose lose situation! I would like to slap all those people too... but then again... wouldn't wanna end up in jail for slapping someone! lol!
1 person likes this
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
2 Jan 08
I have been stared at loads of times when my son is tired and getting upset over me saying no to him or when hes tired and wants something he can't have. It also happens often when i am in a que at the shop and he is tired and wanting me to take him out of his buggy and pick him up.
It is annoying when people look at me like i should do what he wants to make him happy.
If we all did what our kids wanted all the time we would have no money left and have a whole shopping basket full of sweets and toys everytime we went food shopping.
I had a woman stare at me for ages the other day because my son was tired and he kept throwing his juice cup on the floor so i took it off him(so he didn't lose it) and i just said to her. "Hes tired and its non of your business" and she just tittered at me.
~Joeys wife
@UnselfishShellfish (1306)
• United States
20 Dec 07
I am one of those people that stares. What amazes me is that you parents actually allow your child to scream his or her head off through the whole store as it's nothing. Or you think it's funny or just ignore it. Don't ignore it. Spank them! Make them shut up somehow. Buy the darn toy!
So slap me. I dare you.
I was picking up a Barbie for my niece for her birthday. Some woman and her maybe 3 year old daughter daughter were in the aisle as me. I picked up the Barbie, put it in my cart and walked off. The little girl saw the Barbie in my cart and started screaming that she wanted a Barbie too. Mama told her no, which only made her scream more.
A few minutes later, I passed them in the dairy section, little girl still screaming.
Even a few minutes later, still screaming as I'm getting dog food.
10 minutes or so later, still screaming for that Barbie as they are in line at the check stands an aisle over.
I'm not the only one who is annoyed. My sister is a parent and she is annoyed.
Does it please you to have your children screaming like that for half an hour or more? Do you not consider everyone else and their hearing? Can you not take the child to a bathroom and spank them or take them home and finish later?
@jennifer611 (2514)
• United States
19 Dec 07
I think it's best just to ignore the stares or even the whispers of people and act like u don't even see or hear it.
that causes less drama.
I have 3 boys and trips to the store get pretty crazy.
sometimes I do feel like yelling at them "what the *blank* r u looking at!?!"
and sometimes I do that.. but in the end I am the one who feels like an idiot for acting like that.. so it is best just to be quiet and leave it alone..
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
19 Dec 07
Ignore it. people who have children, or raised them already know. Those who haven't will find out when they do. You aren't going to see them again so don't give it another thought. Look at it this way, if they are looking at you, maybe they are trying to get some pointers. Or maybe they are saying thank goodness I am not alone. My daughter learned really quick. Ask for something. If I say no and you cause a scene I will leave the store. Full cart and all. Leave it in the isle. Then I'll go back when daddy comes home. So no more scenes. At least so far. knock wood.
