Unexpected House Guests

It's hard to turn someone down when they have no one else, but I have learned not to take people in from other people's experiences. 20 is still young, so you might be ok. But let's just say in the long run, as he gets older, the person is usually MORE motivated to get a job when they don't feel like they have an easy out. If they wake up every day to food, a TV, and a roof over their head, it's very easy for them to say "i'll look for a job tomorrow". If you want to set rules, best thing to do is create a renter or leasing agreement stating that after x months you will collect x amount of rent and that if he doesn't start paying after x months, he's out. Maybe you can find some samples online. It's just a safe way to motivate the person into getting a job right away. If you are too worried this would offend, you'll have to do it somehow or another. Conversations don't usually work without something in writing.

No, I'm not so involved with any family. And I live in the bush and there's not much here which suits me but one of my kids wouldn't talk to me for moving out here. I suppose there's an element of risk but there's also a chance that you'll give this lad the leg up in life he needs. I sure wish you all some good luck.

I doubt if I would have taken this up if I was in your position. Yes, I'd probably feel bad and sympathise or empathise...but I wouldn't offer to let him stay at my place. I've got too much on my hands without having another responsibility on my hands (and I'm sure you do too). How long will it take him to find a job and what guarantee he's going to hold up his end of the deal? And if your step mother leaves your dad, what family connection would you have with this boy? Why can't he just get a job and move out on his own? That would show you that he is responsible and not running to someone else for help. You can support him in other ways....maybe he can stay with you till he gets a job and then move out? Or maybe get moral support from you? A listening ear, perhaps? From the post, I think it might not be a good idea to let him stay with you and it might be a very long time before he decides to leave...and like you said...how do you expect to set down rules for him (and you'll need to set some because there are kids around)?

Being the owner of the house, I believe that you're half-brother should follow all the house rules you're about to set. Even if he's just 20 years old, he already knows what is right from from as he's mature enough to have a baby!;)LoL Honestly speaking, the rest will be up to you on how you'd allow him to work around the house..

I'm sorry that your half sister is making things hard on your family. I think your dad needs a reality check of her. But that is another story, I'm proud of you to take in your step brother. Though he may not be blood he is still family and you obviously feel that way. Especially if you are willing to let him come in. Also you having to deal with your sister gives you the ability to be sympathetic to his plight. I would just give him the basic rules of the house and make sure he understands it. Also remember he's young once he gets working and makes friends that he's going to want to go out you might have to make guidelines on how late is ok to be out so that it doesn't disturb your family because you do have kids that get up and go to school plus you have a baby. I would also divide the chores a little heavey on his side while he doesn't have a job since he will be in the home mostly and then once he gets a job then lighten the house hold chores. Maybe what you might want to do is hold a family meeting with him, your other half, and your oldest that way you can work on what ever is bothering you or if there need to be changes on how things are done. Make sure that everyone has a chance to voice their opinion. that way you can try and keep the stress level in your house down. I think if I was in your position I would do it also, Heck I have had friends that weren't family stay at my house.

Rule No.1 - Don't talk about fight club. Oh, sorry...wrong discussion.....please ignore that. Sweetie, you know as well as I do that you aren't looking for anyone to tell you how you should handle this situation. If you really thought you needed some "help" you wouldn't have been so carefree about offering a place to stay way back in December.....or now when the situation arose. Who did you seek advice from then? Right...no one. You made the decision and the offer. I'm sure you can deal with it now.