Disciplining kids

@neelygal (1022)
Bahamas
January 28, 2008 9:14am CST
How do you dicipline your kids?Does it work?I am hving trouble with my ten year old now because he id a little old for spanking and Im not sure it would work either.I have punished him but then hes mad at me for days.I just dont know what to do.Since my mom died hes been acting out,and back talking us what he never did before.
2 people like this
7 responses
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
28 Jan 08
My ten year old daughter has a very smart mouth and does alot of back talking as well. What I do for her is take away her favorite stuff and make her sit on her bed all day. The only time she can get up is to eat or use the bathroom. When she doesnt have her DS or use my computer or even going outside to play then she straightens up real quick. She realizes that sitting on her bed all day is so boring that she has cleaned up her act. I did it three times and after the third time she took me seriously and now I dont have to put up with the back talking and rude behavior. It also works with my toddlers when they throw temper tantrums.
@neelygal (1022)
• Bahamas
29 Jan 08
this sounds like a good idea,I think I am going to give this a try.He gets boredvery easily so he wont like doing this at all.Maybe it will work out too.Thank for the advice and wish me luck.
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
29 Jan 08
Good luck and I really hopes it works.
@lightningd (1041)
• United States
28 Jan 08
Start taking stuff away. favorite toys, gadgets, tv time, computer time, ect. 10 is a tough age to discipline, but they still have to be made to follow rules. Time outs don't really work at that age. Taking stuff away from them usually does. No friends over, no phone use, stuff like that gets to them faster than anything.
@neelygal (1022)
• Bahamas
28 Jan 08
I think that is a good idea and I have tried it a few times.The problem with the tv is that he shares a room with his brother so that would mean no tv for him either.I have found taking away his DS most effective.
• Canada
28 Jan 08
My son is only 3 but he's becoming quite the back talker when he dont get his own way. I usually start by putting him in time out for 3 minutes. One minute for each year he's been alive. Then if that dont work he starts losing favorite toys. It usually works for the most part, although sometimes it takes awhile to get him to smarten up. Good luck :)
@neelygal (1022)
• Bahamas
28 Jan 08
Thank you for your response but I dont think time out will work for me.My son is ten so time out will not work,he is too old for that punishment.
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
29 Jan 08
Was your son close with your mom? I hate to suggest this but it can help. You might try taking him to see a counselor. Maybe a school counselor can help. He might be grieving in his own way and doesn't know how to vent/talk about how he feels. We have three grown daughters. At the age of 10 I took priviledges away when they really misbehaved. No phone, no social life until they understood what they did wrong. It's a slow process but did work.
• India
29 Jan 08
Well, he at least has an excuse in that recently he’s lost his granny. I am in a similar position with my 8yr old and just don’t know what to do. Most of the time he is OK like normal kids but recently I have noticed that whenever I am trying to bend him to my ways, he is becoming rebellious. He is still scared of what momma will say, though he confides a lot in me too. I am still the center of his universe, but I don’t know for how long. As it is he is answering back a lot and its sounding very very rude. Explaining things to him is not working as he always has his own answers ready. Enforcement seems to be the only way and that is what I want to avoid. Spanking him is also becoming too much as he is becoming quite robust and any day now, he would definitely hit back. Sorry I could not be of any help, but just wanted to connect with you on similar problems.
29 Jan 08
I send my children to their room as shouting only stresses me out even more. I do not smack my children as in my opinion violence breeds violence and does not work anyway. I stop my children from playing with their favourite toys. This really works in our home.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
28 Jan 08
I think you need to sit down and ask him what is his problem. instead of guessing, I would say that I see you are behaving in a way that I do not understand and I want to know why. and if it is because he has just discovered that he is mortal, then you have to assure him that we are all mortal and that people do die but most of us do not plan on it , rather it happens. as well we never know when we are going to die, so that if we live each and every day like it is our last some day we will be right, Also tell him how his attitude is hurting you, and what does he think what can be done to make this better, but he is the one that must make the connection as to changing his ways you telling him is only adding more to his already growing anger