Does age matter? Why is it that I cant find anyone my own age?

United States
February 3, 2008 11:21am CST
Ok so I have to admit before the new years I decided I would try a couple of online dating services to have a date on new years eve. Maybe that was my first mistake. I got alot of hits and was kind of surprised in that fact alone but the thing that bothered me that they were all from women around 25 years of age... I am 41 with kids that are nearly in their twenties (if you count my step daughter I raised since 4 months old). I just dont see this as a good thing. Maybe I am too old fashioned and there are alot of level headed twenty somethings out there and maybe I worry too much about what others think instead of being happy. But I just dont see these kind of relationships going the distance. Most of all I just dont understand why some young lady would want to date a guy in there 40's. In the end the only womanwho talked to me over the age of 30 ended up being married. so I ended up staying at home eating shrimp and bean dip with the kids for new years. So what do you think? Is it just me or is it weird to even consider a may/december romance?
8 people like this
9 responses
• United States
3 Feb 08
I don't think it's just you. I think it's nice that your looking for a lasting relationship. I would not want to date someone around my kids ages either. But as a woman I have to say. I always dated men over ten years older than I. I love mature men who are not still looking for a mother. Your so young and it's noting for a young woman not to find interesting. Just keep a watchful eye out. I also find walking around shopping and stuff. That would be more my dating service. I don't like those online things. People put up the wrong images and all. Once you stop looking for her. I think she will just happen to find you. :)
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 08
Maybe it is just my negative attitude I always tend to look at what can possibly happen thats bad instead of good. Thank you for your input.
4 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 08
I don't think anyone is as bad as me. I a the what if person. Even my phyc says what I think of things is good. Most people should think more like us. They would stay out of the hot water. Good luck :)
3 people like this
@livintx49 (245)
• United States
3 Feb 08
I think (now this is just my opinion) that older woman might be afraid to try it. I would be.I'll let you guess why a younger woman would want an older man. Could be they are more stable and actually hold a job.Now I don't want people to get mad at me for saying that,I have a 28 yr old son and he works all the time. Of course it would be ok to have a short romance, keep you on your toes!! At least you got to share your new years with people that love you and you love
• United States
3 Feb 08
I dont regret who I spent my time with at all this past new years. God willing I will probly be spending it with them again this year in fact...lol.
3 people like this
@ctrymuziklvr (11063)
• United States
3 Feb 08
Don't laugh but I'm 60 and finding the same thing. The problem is 40 year old guys want me to date them! They say age doesn't matter but it does to me since I have a 40 year old daughter and 2 kids under 40!!! I do know a couple of women who married guys much younger than they are and their marriages are working out great but I can't even get myself to go out with a guy that much younger than me never mind marry one.
• United States
3 Feb 08
Well I guess you could always start talking to them than start off "when you were in diapers I did this or that"...just kidding. Thanks for the reply
2 people like this
@elisa126 (166)
• United States
3 Feb 08
ok first of all I think alot of these women are looking for a older man cause there well rounded already,they know what they want in life,(older men) and maybe they think you have alot of money or something, but personally I wouldn't date someone younger then me,and Im 49 next month,I would feel very uncomfortable,cause I have a son who is 28 lol, but for some men they like younger women, I guess its the old saying to each there own... I hope you find someone to share your life with.Good luck! p.s look at hugh hefner lmao, for example lol
• United States
3 Feb 08
Hugh is a really bad example, reguardless of how much money he has he still just looks like a old pediphile and a creep!
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 08
I'm in my 50's and if I were single I would be very reluctant to have a girl friend in her 20's. There's just too much about life one can not explain to someone that age. This would limit the amount you could understand each other's feelings and emotions. Now, as to these 20 somethings responding to you, I'll speculate that at least a few of them are camoflaged 'hookers'. Don't dismiss the notion. I discovered while an independent trucker that some really smart professional women hide their business proclivities very well while still conducting their business.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 08
That must be why I like you so much red, you apeal to my negative side...haha. I thought that very same thing or that they might be looking for a sugar daddy (boy would they be dissappointed when they got to know me). But after two failed marriages where I tried my best to fix things its hard to be possitive.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 08
*cough* some women get tired of playing games with little boys *ahem* stop selling yourself short
2 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 08
does this mean you have considered the older man? Thanks for the reply btw.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 08
I married one. My hubs turns 50 tomorrow. On the day of the big deed, I was 22 and he was 35, and could have been 100 for all I cared. 14 years and counting. Listen to your heart and your head. If they say the same thing, then it's the right thing. If they don't say the same thing, listen to your head because your heart doesn't care about you like your head does.
4 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 08
Good advice, you made it longer than either of my marriages so you got me beat and there was only a years difference in both my marriages.
3 people like this
@jhl930 (3607)
• United States
3 Feb 08
I don't know I have never personally tried a dating website because I don't trust everyone that I meet on the internet, because I have heard more than one person that have tried the dating sites and said that everyone wasn't always what and who they seemed to be...but i have heard of a few websites that you might want to try....I have hard some people say that match.com was a really good match making website if thats what you are looking for or you could try myspace.com putting up a profile because you are constantly hearing of people starting relationships on their and they have everyone from eighteen to sixty five I think.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 08
After all this I think I am gona spend a bit mroe time deciding whats best for me before I jump back into a relationship. I have spent most of my adult life married and maybe I need to learn to be happy alone before I jump back into dating.
2 people like this
• Canada
12 Feb 08
To me it is never about age...but attitude! My hubby is twelve years younger than me and had I held to my previous concerns about dating a younger guy I would have missed sharing the wonderful life with him that I do. Initially I was hung up about the age difference but David assured me that it didn't matter. I guess your concerns about 'going the distance' are valid if the age difference is too great and the gals are not emotionally mature enough to commit to an build an authentic relationship. However, conflicts like that occur with people who are closer to the same age as well...so as I said in the first paragraph...it is not about age...but attitude. Happy searching...keep looking I am sure there is a special someone out there looking for all that you have to offer. Raia
• United States
12 Feb 08
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement Raia, I do have to admit right now I am not really looking and all that. What I am dealing with in my own life has shown me the only relationship I need to work on right now is mine with God till I get myself straightened out. The negative side of me keeps thinking about my past two wives and all the things that happened with them not knowing what they wanted or thought they wanted. Thats why I have big concerns about dating someone younger is because how would they know what they want for sure compared to the other two who didnt know as old as they were. I know its a bad thing to base future reltaionships off of the past and like I said thats one of the things I am dealing with right now. On top of all that and working on myself is dealing with what I believe God wants out of me, so thats why I put the dating thing way on the back burner and stayed at home with the kids and like I said its probly where I will be next new years too.
• United States
11 Feb 08
i don't believe it does. as cliche as it may seem, age is truly simply a number. when you are in love, it doesn't matter what age you are, or what the age is of your significant other.
• United States
11 Feb 08
Thanks for the reply, When the time comes (if it ever does again) I will try to be more open minded and not let age be the deciding factor.