a tough decision

Don't feel bad Molly, $20 a week is nowhere near enough money to support your son. You are doing the right thing for your son. I also applied for child support for my children. It has taken a year to finally receive payments. It is the best option as you don't know what will happen further down the track, some men can be unreliable in payments. This way, child support takes the deductions out each week and you don't have to hassle them for money. Children cost alot of money these days: food, clothing, education, extra room in house, electricity, etc.... I feel maybe you have not quite let your ex go that is why you are concerned about how he might feel about child support. They all get angry at first when they find out about child support. But they soon get used to paying it, plus they are doing the right thing for their child then. Once you have let him go emotionally you know you have made the right decision for your child. Now you can live comfortably.

Why is a making a man taking care of his child a tough decision? He shares 50% in the responsibility of taking care of his child and don't let him get away with anything less!

If he gets upset it might be because you did not tell him about your feelings first. I mean you know now that you have to deal with him for many years to come, so you need to build blocks of trust with him. Look at the long road ahead and always TALK to him first. Yes, unfortunately you are the one who has to build whatever the relationship will be with the dad down the road, for your son's sake. Accept it and move on utilizing it to help relationships for your son later. If you focus on controlling the dad's behavior day to day now (complaints of no communication), instead of how important your relationship will mean to your son later, then you are missing the whole picture. In an email system you can give updates and BE THE GOOD GUY per say by sharing first. There ARE ways to do it to receive positive results that you really want deep inside, but it will be a lifelong journey now that you have a child with him. Everytime you communicate, or don't (such as the filing without telling him first), think about how your son will feel later. It is important for him to love you and his dad equally, no matter what your feelings are for, or against his dad as the years go on, and visa versa.

You did the right thing. He helped you make that baby he should help you support him even if he isn't there to help you raise him. I gave up getting child support for my kids but my situation was WAY different from yours so I say congrats to you, you did what is best for your son. And if he is mad, so what. It is his duty as a father to help support him. You just made sure that now he has to perform that duty instead of just making empty promises about what he is going to do.

Tough if he is upset, it is not cheap to bring a child up, especially if you are doing it on your own, I did it for 7 years with my first son, had no help from anyone, and boy did we struggle. His father has to realise his responsibilities and start putting his son first. And put his hand in his pocket more. It should not just be down to you to contact him about your son, he should be showing an interest in his child, if he doesnt then he will be the one to miss out long term and you will get to see and have all the precious experiences that a child can bring. I think you are doing the right thing.

$20 or 30 a week isn't alot, but its better than nothing at all. if he doesn't choose to call, fine, you can't make him. maybe he didn't think that you'd file. how old is your son now, unfortunetly, sometimes mothers have to be mommy and daddy and daddy's have to be daddy's and mommy. take care of your son, regardless to what his trifflin sperm donor does and do u.

Dont you ever feel guilty about going after that child support. You need to support that child and since he doesn't know to automatically do it because it's his responsibility,sometimes we need to take legal action to remind them of this.

Just explain that it is not an attack on him, you are doing it to ensure your son has a good future. And remind him that it took 2 to play and it takes 2 to pay. I didn't get a single penny from my first born's dad - EVER. He was a clingy "we'll be together forever" guy until I got pregnant. Then he just disappeared. He had 3 more kids with someone else and didn't pay for them either. I hope your son's dad is more of a man and owns up to his responsibility.

Good for you.You made the right decision.You are only looking out for your son.

Good for you.You made the right decision.You are only looking out for your son.

You sound as if you feel guilty about this. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO RECEIVE CHILD SUPPORT FOR YOUR SON!!!! Do not feel guilty. He has a financial, as well as MORAL obligation to support that child. 20-30$ a week is a mere drop in the bucket. As for him being angry? SO WHAT!!! It's his kid too, and it's time he supports his child. He most likely knew that if he just gave you a little money every once in awhile, he could get away with not having to pay what he would be ordered to through the courts. I'm glad you decided to go after support. Most likely, he will be ordered to carry medical and dental insurance on the child as well. That is standard in most cases. If it's not brought up, be sure to bring it up!

Good for you Mollyrose! I raised my son on my own, but I went after his father through the District Attorney's office because he threatened to go back to England. (And since I had his social security number, they could have tracked him down!) Yes, he was mad, but it takes to two to make a baby, and just because you are getting along with your son's father is no reason for him not to give you the money you need to help support that baby. $30 is nothing these days. You did the right thing. Don't feel guilty.

That is the best way. Best thing to do is get it in court, so you two dont have to argue about it. 20-30 a week is nothing. Barely buys a pack of diapers. He should be giving you more than that anyway just out of goodwill.