Who gets the spoils?

@winterose (39917)
Canada
February 20, 2008 12:04pm CST
This was a woman in my neighbourhood who was always dressed to the hilt while her kids looked like rag pickers. She always bought for herself first and there was never money left over for her kids needs or though she said. This woman went to the extreme, all for her and nothing for her kids, How do you decide who gets what when you have some extra money to spend?
3 people like this
12 responses
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I have searched around for thrift stores, where you can buy clothing for a few dollars! I have done this in California, and a little in Philadelphia. I do not know how it is in Canada. Here some thrift stores are very cheap and have a good supply of nice clothes, while other stores price everything higher and do not have a good selection. I have seen good children's clothes for fifty cents! Is there a Toys R Us anywhere? Maybe she needs donations? My kids were always heavy on the clothes wear, like wearing holes in their shoes in an incredibly short time. freecycle.org has given many people the opportunity to save money and gift items that have been gently used to others!
@winterose (39917)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
she doesn't need donations, she spends all her money on herself and nothing on her kids, she can afford to buy her self designer cloths but her kids where clothes with holds in them, she has at least 30 pairs of shoes, her kids don't have one good pair between them, she bought herself a fur coat when they were in fashion, she gets her hair done every two weeks at 75.00 a shot, her nails are done once a month at 40.00 a shot, she buys nothing for her kids.
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I will guess that the kids hate her! If that is the case, where is the father? Maybe the laws are different in Canada.
@winterose (39917)
• Canada
23 Feb 08
the laws are no different in the usa, she wears good cloths the kids where second hand, the eat and go to school, but her problem is all the money she gets she puts on herself first and there is nothing left over for the children, I saw a situation on oprah just like this one not long ago
• United States
20 Feb 08
I know people who put them first and do it well. I would find it hard to believe the kids looked like rags. The school would have reported her. For that matter a concerned citizen would as well. If I saw a woman doing that to her kids. There is not a chance I would not say anything to her. I would most likely use her phone to call child services. I buy my daughter before me because It's a bad habit. I can't help it. I have done it far too long. It's even worse because my daughter has no concerns about not taking it. She will spend till my pockets are dusty. leaving me nothing to spend on myself. But after my surgery she will have to curve that.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39917)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
the schools here do not report kids for having rags for clothes especially if you live in the ghetto, but the mother always looked like a rich woman, then kids, like rag pickers, she never went without, they always did
@crazynurse (7489)
• United States
20 Feb 08
I really take issue with people such as the lady that you described. But, I guess as long as she was 'providing for their welfare' and the kids were not 'starving', then it was legal. When we have extra money, who gets benefit of the money is decided by various things such as who got something special the last time, is there someone in the fmaily that needs something that we haven't been able to get, or is there something that we can do with the money that will benefit the entire family? It certainly doesn't always go to me or my hubby! In fact 99% of the time it goes to one of the children!
1 person likes this
@winterose (39917)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
she was not providing for the welfare, she bought herself all nice things and the kids wore shoes with holes in them
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
This is a issue that really bother me as well. We see it all to often! Parents not going without anything but their children are the ones who are suffering. This would never be my case. My main job in this world (and have thought that even at 18yrs old when I had my daughter) is to provide for my children first!!! They get everything they need, not to mention stuff they really dont. If any money left after that...and the children dont need a thing....then my hubby and I may splurge and get something for ourselves. But not until the kids are taken care of. I always thought that this was just a regular job when you were a mother....but apparently some people have other ideas...unfortunatley!
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I am the opposite. I dress in thrift shop buys and hand-me-downs. I very rarely splurge on my own needs which really aren't "needs" i guess as I never feel as if I am going without. My girls have always been dressed fine and in fashion and good taste. that is important to me and actually what my life has been about...raising them to be fine young ladies. I did have a friend tho that dressed unbelieveable extravagant. She was also a single mom and I used to question her on this. She justified it by saying that she had to "look rich" to attract "rich". she claimed she was doing it for her kids. She wanted a guy with money which would make their lives easier. I must say it worked. She did end up marrying a wealthy and much older man. Happy?? who knows. Personally i don;t feel that money can buy happiness but then ...that's just me.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
21 Feb 08
its like the story madame Bovary. I have also seen few people who indulge in too much expensive things for themselves. they never had money for children. its a pity i guess.Yesterday while going back home i watched a similar lady. she was dressed in nice clothes. it was cold. her son, barely 2 yr old had no warm clothes.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13736)
• Philippines
21 Feb 08
Eversince i found out i was pregnant and when my baby was born... 90% of everything is for her... the money left after paying off the bills and rent were use to buy all her needs... and the little extra... if there are... i use for my luxury...like internet and movies... Some women dedicate their whole lives to their children... but some refuse to live that kind of life... but as long as their children are healthy and they have education... i have nothing against them...
21 Feb 08
I'm one of those moms, who puts my son first 4 everything, I dont eat unless he has eaten first.. i dot get my hair or nails done any more so i can get my baby stuff..as for that mom u metioned above shame on her!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3804)
• United States
21 Feb 08
My kids come first. Being a parent means that your kids are taken care of first before yourself. It doesn't mean that my kids needs to walk around in 50 dollar jeans and 20 dollar blouses. They can look good in clothes at a lot cheaper price. I like Old Navy, because I can get really good clothes on the sales rack. This lady in your neighborhood, isn't a good mother in my opinion because she just thinks of herself. I feel bad for those kids of her's. Maybe people in the neighborhood needs to give her kids some good clothes, maybe then she will see what she's doing is wrong.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I do the best I can with the money we have. We make sure the bills are paid first and food is on the table. I always make sure my husband and my daughter have things. I never put myself first ever. complain sometimes because I would like to have things also but I just do unto others and just hope some day it will come back to me.
1 person likes this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
20 Feb 08
I have always been and I guess always will be the type of person who makes sure that others have things before me. I always made sure my kids had the necessary things whether or not we could afford it at the time. My kids are grown now and I have grandchildren and I am the same way with them too. To this day I don't like to buy things for myself but I will go out of my way to buy for my husband, children, grandchildren and others. When I do buy some new clothes or something like that I feel guilty, I guess I will never change my ways.
1 person likes this
@Ldyjarhead (10157)
• United States
20 Feb 08
Like most women, I usually put myself last. Of course there are lots of variables to consider, but if it was a basic need rather than a want, others always come first. I would never have let my kids look dirty or ragged. You can still be neat and clean without a lot of money. (Of course when my boys were old enough to do their own thing and wore their pants halfway down their butt that was another story, LOL)
1 person likes this