I'M the bad mom because i DONT feed my BABY fried food and chocolate?
By potatobutt87
@potatobutt87 (348)
United States
February 21, 2008 10:29am CST
ever since my daughter was born me and my bf vowed NOT to feed her food that wasn't good for her, and to TEACH her healthy eating. i made my own baby food, i cook for her regularly. shes 14 months old, she doesn't need much for food anyways.
well i have a friend she is a mother of 3, and has a son that about 2 months older then my daughter. at 11 month old she was feeding her son chocolate soy milk and vanilla soy milk. WTH?! i cant say anything because im 21 years old and only have one daughter, i DONT know how to raise kids... so she feeds him EVERYTHING they eat, fast food, chocolate, pudding, just EVERYTHING.
so the other day i was at her house and she was talking to me about how i was picky on what she eats blah blah blah. i told her well she doesnt NEED fried foods at all, and she proceeds to tell me she does. she told me she gave her son a chocolate heart for valentines day.. the first and only time my daughter ever had cake was at her first birthday, soo many people tried getting me to feed her some at every birthday party we went to. people would feed her stuff behind my back.
at Christmas i was getting teased because i didn't want to give my daughter chocolate pie.. my aunt and mom were both trying to give some to her, and i sad SHE DOESNT NEED TO EAT IT, give her something else. well they went behind my back, i saw them do it, but once again they have grown kids they know how to parent i dont. i respected them, but they both went behind my back, and guess what my daughter did 10 mins later, SPIT IT ALLLL UP... you think her MOTHER doesnt have other reasons on not to give it to her. hmm
she had 2 birthday partys one at my house, and one at my BF's moms, because they live so far away. well at my BF's moms house, she freaken orders fried chicken fingers, french fries, onion rings on and on and on, the only thing she goes was mashed potatoes. ITS A ONE YEAR OLDS BIRTHDAY WHY THE HWLL WOULD YOU GET THIS KIND OF FOOD?!?! so my bfs cousin asked me why i was only feeding her potatoes, and i told her, because when i was a kid i want taught how to eat right, or porportions. and all my life i have had weight issused, that i cant get over. i dont want her to have to deal with that because i didnt teach her how to eat right. overweight genes run in both our family, i want to help herout in any way possible so she doesnt have to deal with the issues i did as an adult. she may hate me as a kid for not allowing her to eat certain foods, but i know she will thank me as an adult.
she understood and agreed with me, told me i was awesome for doing the things i have done for her. she said as a kid she would go over to their grandmothers, and she would have a cubbard FULL of sweet cakes, all junk food, and thats all they would eat. same with my BF's moms house, thats ALLL there is.
i just dont understand why IM the bad mom because i DONT want to give HORRIBLE stuff to her.
i told my friend, when shes old i will HAVE to give it to her, because i dont want her to later on in life indulge on all the foods i didnt give her. but it will be limited.
8 people like this
26 responses
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
22 Feb 08
I can see where you're coming from but a little something that isn't 100% healthy every so often wont hurt your child. If she has good eating habits then they'll stick with her.
My daughter will always eat her veggies off the plate before anything else - especially brocoli :) She'll then go for the potatoes or mashed potato & she'll leave her meat until last! Every 2 or 3 weeks, we go shopping with my Mum & only then, will my daughter get something that's a little less healthy - the 2 of us will share a KFC snack box, a couple chips & a couple pieces of popcorn chicken aren't going to make her blow up & become instantly obese.
Did your 1 year old have a cake for her birthday?
Well, i think it's only right that you decide how & what your daughter eats but honestly, a little something every so often wont hurt her.
Remember, it's only BAD for you if you choose not to eat it in moderation - once every so often wont hurt as long as she knows it's an every so often food & not something she can have all the time!
Good luck!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
22 Feb 08
It sounds to me that you have the right idea. Don't let those others get to you and do not ignore it when they go behind your back!! Your are the mother and whether they agree with you or not, they should be respecting your wishes when it comes to your daughter!! I have raised 4 girls...all healthy and with beautiful figures. I, too, made their baby foods myself for the most part. As they grew older, I also did not give them lots of sweets or fast foods. It was a real treat if I pulled into McDonalds or bought a box of sweetened cereal. Soda was also something that was a real rarity in our refrigerator. As they grew more and more on their own, they only occassionally would choose junk food over healthier foods. In fact by the time they got to be teens, I could leave a bowl of candy on the table and it would last for the longest time. On their birthdays, they were always allowed to choose anything at all for a meal...including fast foods. Most of the time they chose for me to cook a meal for them....occassionally we'd order pizza. Keep up the good work. Sounds to me as if you know more at 21 with one child than many that should be more experienced know.
@rinaaus (1201)
• Australia
22 Feb 08
I think you are really perfect mom. Same to you, I cook for my son every meal, I tried to give him all fresh food as I can. I and my husband agreed that no fast food; no chocolate; no soft drink; no chips; no can foods; no sweat for my son. he will eat what we eat as well. I think it is very good habit to eat healthy and live healthy. One more thing is the more the kids eat fresh food the more IQ they will get (it proved on Discovery Channel)
@Myrrdin (3599)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
you are not a bad mother for doing this. In fact by doing this you are reducing the risk that your child will have various food allergies. Food allergies runs in my family so when my daughter was born my doctor told us that we should avoid high allergy foods like nuts chocolate and eggs until my daughter was three, and avoid seafood until she was seven. Recent research has shown that avoiding high allergy risk foods like that seriously reduces the risk of food allergies in children. So on top of the general health benefits your child is receiving from the healthy diet you are also hopefully ensuring that your child will not have food allergies, trust me (as a man who didn't try ice cream, pizza or chocolate until he was a teenager) you don't want your child to grow up with food allergies. My daughter is five, and we did break the no seafood until seven rule, but only because my mother didn't realize that one and fed her some shrimp when she was three. Since there was no reaction she is ok. Luckily my daughter has no food allergies that I have found, and she has tried pretty much everything.
2 people like this
@potatobutt87 (348)
• United States
21 Feb 08
thats awesome!!! i actually got into 2 tiffs with my mom and my friend about peanuts, cause i was told NOT to give till they are 2 now, not 1. and they both didn't believe me.. i was like OK you can give your child it, but im not risking MINE with it. i don't need my child to die because i gave her something she shouldn't have (yeah im over exaggerating, but it can happen)
2 people like this
@potatobutt87 (348)
• United States
22 Feb 08
thats funny, i never REALLY had the normal allergic reaction, but i would get headaches while eating pizza.. so i didn't eat that very often. i couldn't drink soda till after i got pregnant (i wish i never figured that out) same with SOME milk products. some cheeses, and ice creams. i never thought of them as allergies, but i guess they were. but once again after i got pregnant everything went away. :)
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
13 Jun 08
The only things I was very careful of were nuts and honey. I did not let my daughter have nuts till she was over 2 and no honey until she was over 3. We have no family history of any type of food allergy and we don't have other allergies either, so I wasn't worried about things like eggs, wheat, soy, milk, fish, etc. The oldest I had ever heard to wait on anything was 3 or 4, not 7. That is kind of silly considering my whole family loves seafood, I can't see not allowing her to have any, she'd find a way to get it anyway. Her eating habits have always mirrored mine, which is why I strived to eat healthier when she became interested in food. If mommy was having a sandwich and fruit, that's what she wanted, even if there were other people around eating fried chicken and biscuits LOL! She has tried sushi and only likes the rice part but she is generally willing to try anything we eat. She has tried asparagus (and likes it sometimes), squash, mushrooms, loves brussel sprouts, corn, broccoli, carrots etc. We also discovered that she likes chocolate, which is not a stretch, WE love chocolate. =)
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
22 Feb 08
Welcome to motherhood.
I'll share a little bit of wisom having been a mother for a little over 15 years...
There will ALWAYS be SOMEONE that has a problem with how you are raising your child.
Just to the best you can and do what you think is best for your child. Listen to and follow the advice that makes sense to you and ingore the stuff that sounds like nonsense.
Good Luck.
3 people like this
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I don't care how many kids someone has, that doesn't mean they know what is best for Your child. If they go behind your back, you need to speak up. You have your reasons, and they sound like good ones, for doing things the way you do. Let them know that you don't want her to have those foods, period. You should not have to explain yourself or be made to feel like you don't know what you are doing, or that they are 'better' parents. Just do what feels right for you and your family. If other people think you are wrong, well, they have that right. But they Don't have the right to go against your wishes and give your daughter things you don't want her to have. Don't let them intimidate you. Speak up!
1 person likes this
@potatobutt87 (348)
• United States
22 Feb 08
i wish i wouldn't let people intimidate me, but i do, age is usually a factor in that.
i HATE that they went behind my back, and ignored my wishes. i dont really trust any of them anymore. my mom took my daughter over night for the first time 2 weeks ago, and my only concern was that she was going to feed he something i wouldn't approve of. i dont know if she did or didnt, but i think she got the point after that night she spit up.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I would totally go off on people like that! I about bit my MILs head off when I caught her trying to feed my daughter - who was barely 4 months - some type of baby food fruit DESSERT thingy! She was so gaggy as a baby and didn't even tolerate cereal and applesauce well until she was over 7 months, so I had a reason to be concerned about her choking as well as all the sugar and artifical junk in that stuff. I have NEVER cared about someone thinking they have age or experience on me! It's MY child, it's MY say. Shame on anybody else for sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong, with me they are liable to have it cut off! I don't tell other people what I think they should do - unless it concerns something where it might hurt or influence my child negatively, like in the form of someone smacking or spanking their child right in front of mine - or allowing them to climb or jump on furniture when mine has been told this is not appropriate behavior. I always say I don't care what somebody does in their own home or in private but just be careful around other people, in public situations. It's really hard to explain to a scared toddler why another mommy hit her baby, or to a rowdy preschooler who LOVES to run and jump how it's okay that their friend can do it but they can't. Even a 3 year old sees the hypocrisy in that! Sorry to rant, I got off on another topic I can't stand.
@loisse21 (214)
• Philippines
21 Feb 08
I totally agree with you that you have to feed your child nutritious food which would help her grow up healthy.I guess its every parents wish for their children to grow up physically fit. And I, for sure, don't think that you're a bad mom- just a bit overprotective. I say you are concerned for your child's health and its good but every now and then I think it's okay for you to indulge her into sweets. I hope you don't get me wrong, I'm just trying to say that these sweets are part of childhood. Seeing your child covered with melted chocolates is a lovely sight- at least for me. Or your child playing and eating chocolates with other children. Maybe you can limit her intake but depriving a child from chocolate is like depriving her pleasure-on my opinion every child should be given minimal amount of chocolate especially on special occassions and family gatherings. Think of her being a bit outcast when all of the children on her age bracket are enjoying their sweets with each other while there she is eating mashed potatoes.
These are just my opinion. I don't have a child of my own but I took care and disciplined all of my 14 nieces and nephews and every pay day I would bring them bite size chocolates for them to share. And I'm giving my 6 month old cousin choco bars. Thats every other week, I would let them eat chocolates. And its really funny when they approach me and with their choco-filled smile and say their thanks. just sharing an experience :)
1 person likes this
@potatobutt87 (348)
• United States
21 Feb 08
oh yes i do know what you mean. i will be letting her get sweets and chocolates, in little bits, once shes older. during christmas this year (she will be almost 2) i will most likly allow her to have little bits of chocolate. :) me and her dad are VERY overprotective LOL maybe with the next one we wont be so my lol
1 person likes this
@crazylady (470)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Whether you want to feed your kid chicken nuggets and fries or spinach...the important thing is respect. Them not respecting you enough and going behind your back just burns me up!
My MIL got mad at me a couple months ago they were in town and we went out to Golden Corral for lunch. (buffet food) I had gone and gotten my 9.5 month old food. He loves mashed potatoes, green beans, and actually there is not a food my baby won't eat. Well she butters him some bread...no biggy but bread is a filler. If he fills up on the bread he won't eat the green beans and peaches and other stuff that has more nutritional value than bread. Well I told her very nicely that I will give him the bread afterward. She got mad and sulked the rest of the meal. I could go on and on with stories about her, but not now.
Your not giving your daughter the junk food is great. I am sure she will get plenty of it when she is older. She may not like it all from not having it, or she could be like I was- my mom rarely let us have sweets so I went out and gorged. I have to have my sweets now! LOL
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
21 Feb 08
You are very smart watching your childs diet from the beginning. I agree with you for the most part.
I will tell you that once your child is older and in school, she will be given the chocolates and treats, so you may want to give them to her in moderation.
When my son was born I was just like you. I wouldn't give him chocolate or any junk. Then we went on vacation with my inlaws and they asked for my son, 2 yrs old at the time, to ride in their car. They gave him a brownie, pepsi and then stopped and bought ice cream on the way.
When we got to the condo, he was flipping out. He was on such a sugar high that he kept running up and down the hallway nonstop.
After that, I decided to give him chocolate and sweets in moderation so when he had them again, he wouldn't have the same reaction.
@potatobutt87 (348)
• United States
21 Feb 08
hahah OH MY thats crazy! lol
yeah i dont think i need that to happen... haha by the time shes 2 i think i will give her little bits once and a while, but nothing big! lol
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
23 Jun 08
You are a good mom!
And please don't let anyone make you feel
guilty for being a good mom.
Do what you know is best for your baby.
That's what will help her.
It's always best to get them started right
or it'll be harder to make them eat right
later on.
@herrygs (133)
• Indonesia
22 Feb 08
Well, you have do the right thing.
you can protect your daughter by seletive food for her, but we have to concern about the nutrition.
Fast food is Okay for me? for everyday is no way. Try to do a lot of food combination each day, it will help fulfill our child nutrition and they will know much various of food, so we won't get a headache to think what kind of food that our child wants ( much help while we make trip/traveling).
1 person likes this
@maekhamin (87)
• United States
22 Feb 08
im no parent nor i want to be one, but you did the right thing. giving your kid an unhealthy diet is like poisoning your own kid slowly. especially in this era where everything is so out of proportion and unhealthy. teaching kids how to be healthy when they grow up is really important.
1 person likes this
@potatobutt87 (348)
• United States
22 Feb 08
wow, yeah i defiantly am very very aggressive when i tell my parents what i want with her. i think if i were in your situation, then i would soo agree, dont see my child if your going to feed her like that!!!
i used to say "do you want to take care of her when shes up in the night with an upset stomach?? or is spitting up?"
1 person likes this
@sashashimp (115)
• United States
13 Jun 08
You are not a bad mother. You know what your baby needs because you are her mother. I doesnt hurt to treat your baby every once in awhile but some people feed that junk food to there kids everyday some day i do that because my daughter wont eat anything else. But teaching children to eat healthy when they are young will stay with them there whole life.
Keep up the good work and dont let people tell you what to do when it comes to your child you know what best for her.
@luvinu617 (185)
• United States
13 Jun 08
Well I think you are an amazing mother for caring enough about your childs health to give her healthy foods. I also think a little bit of sweets isn't a bad thing. The important thing is teaching your child healthy habits. Not to go over board on sweets, to make sure she has all the other nutrients and and vitamins and protein and fiber, etc... she needs everyday before she has sweets. A small piece of cake at a party isn't going to hurt her. By not letting her eat junk food at all you could do the opposite of what you want to, she could end up sneaking it behind moms back, and instead of her knowing not to go overboard, she's spending her lunch money at the vending machine. You need to find a good balance that your comfortable with. If she does something really good, or if she learns something, give her a little bag of fruit snacks. You can also let her see that even healthy foods can be sweets snacks. Apples are juicy and sweet and good for you. Strawberries are my personal favorite, and I have a two year old niece that LOVES strawberries. You just really need to find a good balance instead of completely deleting junk foods. I really think it will prove negatively in the future if you continue to restrict her diet this much. She is just a baby, and you don't want her to be three years old worrying about what she eats because she's afraid of being fat. Don't associate her experience with food as this makes you fat and this dont.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
14 Jun 08
I agree with this. Balance is key in any area of your life, from food to career, to relationships, to hobbies. My sister once made a comment about the daughter of her boss saying something about 'sugar makes you fat' or 'I can't eat this because I'll get fat' and this little girl was probably FOUR YEARS OLD. Now why would a four year old say something like that if she hadn't heard it from her mother? ICK!
Now I talk about the benefits of being active and I AM active, so leading by example is probably the best way to convince your kids to be healthy.
@youdontsay (3497)
• United States
21 Feb 08
Frankly I admire your resolve. You are doing what is best for your child - and for you if you eat what she does.
No one needs fried foods and processed sugars. We eat them because we like them, but we sure don't need them. And we'd all be better off if we avoided or - at the very least - drastically limited them.
I say, "good for you!"
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
22 Feb 08
I'm sure you've got all responses of people telling you what a good mother you are. So, I'm going to still add one too it. I think its great that you are keeping her from junk food. Especially at that age. Once she's older, it might be ok to let her have that stuff occassionally though. I don't know how likely she would be to indulge when she is older. She probably would, but I don't know how bad. My house usually didn't have much sweet stuff or junk food, although we did get that stuff a little bit. But then I would go to a friends house. Her and her parents were overweight. Their house was loaded with junk food. When I'd spend the night there we'd pig out all night. But one night of that didn't affect my weight. Most people look at me and assume that my weight means i must eat a lot of junk food. I only really eat junk food at birthday parties and stuff like that. My problem is that I went through a few months of not being active at all. The pounds came on and then 3 kids later, I'm 50 lbs overweight and I can't seem to get it off. So, in addition to teaching your daughter healthy eating, teach her to be active.
@shymurl (2765)
• United States
21 Feb 08
You are NOT a bad mother. You do what you feel is right. I don't like it when other people do the same to my kids. I try to teach them good habits as well, but no matter what, there is always going to be somebody that thinks their always right. You need to stay strong and keep doing what you think is right. As she grows you just explain to her why you do the things you do and she will respect you for that. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
21 Feb 08
It sounds to me like at 21 you have your head screwed on with regards to your daughters well being and I think it sounds like you are doing a great job and teaching your girl the right way to enjoy her food with just an occasional treat. I had my first child at 18 and no way was I like you, I still give my lot too much junk food but we dont have fried food!!!
1 person likes this
@sturner03 (326)
• United States
13 Jun 08
I don't think that you are a bad parent for this at all. I started this also with my daugther instead of eating cookies and cake and chocalate for snacks she eats fruits and vegtables. Her favorite food for the longest time was green beans. It's not good at a young age to have children eating all kinds of food thats bad for there body and will rot there teeth. Stay strong and stick to what you believe its YOUR child.
@jazzd4me2b (13)
•
26 Jun 08
I absolutely applaud you for being so diligent and aware of what is healthy for your child. My husband (on the advice of his mother) gave our first child diluted apple juice when she was about 2 or 3 months old and she was miserable and seemed colicky for about 2 weeks! This was after our pediatrician had advised formula only for 4-6 months and then small amounts of cereal.
It's just crazy when people who should have your child's best interest at heart would go behind your back to give her totally unhealthy foods. Not to mention the lack of respect that they are giving you as her mother! I don't care if you are only 21, if the way that you do things is not detrimental to her health, then it is not anyone else's business.
