Moving back to my own house after a year, Now my kids feel I;m invading,,,,,,
By speedstir
@speedstir (18)
United States
February 23, 2008 6:06am CST
I got married about a year ago, and my new husband and I had a bad start,,,He lost his job,,and few months after I lost my job,,,He end up losing his house...So we both move back to my house...Where I had left my son 24yrs old and my daugther 20yrs old.....I was about 10 miles away...so I will come once in a while and check on them...cook and clean,,,,and my daugther will always call me when she needed money...or things like that...Before I got married,,,I put the house under my sons name...,,It was more due to security reasons,,,,but,,,,He was in charge of the house mortgage and bills......NOW...My son makes me feel like I'm intruding,,and whenever I make a comment, about changing or arranging something in the house,,,My son complains,,,and saids, "Hell No"" your not changing anything on my house, I know he doesn't want us here, He's been,,,getting home late,,,and only comes to sleep.. (avoiding me)....I know My kids,,,and I feel that if I had the money,,,I will rather,,,Rent a place,,,than living with them,,,,I can't even afford to pay my mortgage,,myself..or rent...somewhere else.....don't know how to solve this...I have lost control over my own house and my kids...What should I do?
5 people like this
4 responses
@floramwaters (1595)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I have been in your sons shoes. When I was there I would get so made when the in-laws would more anything because This was my house ( when you put your house in your sons name you gave the house to him) I was paying the rent and all bills. It was my right to say what to do with it. I also started avoiding them as well because I was a fraid that if I started to say something at all to them that it would lead to a big battle that was something that I just did not want to deal with. My in-laws where not working either and I did not fill like they were even tring to get a job which also upsetted me a lot. This maybe how your son is filling.
1 person likes this
@speedstir (18)
• United States
5 Mar 08
Thanks, My Intentions where that If I ever die of something went wrong that my son will be in charge. I'm not trying to justified myself..But also my sons ego went up a mile away.. and yes my husband is working now and I'm collecting unemloyment it's not what I used to make but is more than a regular persons minimum salary..and for now with all this changes and frustations It works for now.
Thanks
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Putting the house in your son's name, and him paying the mortgage, pretty much makes it his house. Not sure, cause you don't really say, did you discuss moving back with your kids before you actually did it? If not, that could be part of the problem, your kids don't feel like they were taken into consideration when you made this decision. As for your questions, you lost control of your house when you signed it over to your son, and your kids are grown, I don't know of anyone that has control over their grown children.
1 person likes this
@speedstir (18)
• United States
5 Mar 08
Well, I didn't left him alone but I was helping him every month with my share of the mortgage...til I lost my job,,Wich was only 4 months and I did discuss with him...that at the begining of the year I was moving back, My room was never empty and everything in the house, Of course I provided, I fix everything that was broken or needed to be repair while not living here. My Son and I did had a conversation, I told him that the house is his, I will keep helping him with the mortgage til I move out, Wich I Hope Is asap.
thanks.
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I am so sorry to hear you are going through such hard times. You sound like so many Americans now adays. The government says that we are not in a recession but it does not feel like it for so many of us.
Good luck with the job finding. I know it is hard to find a job in this time.
Now with your problem it sounds like your son considered that the house was given to him. It sounds like he feels you are intruding on him. When you put the house in his name what where the arrangement? Did you tell him that the house was his? Did you tell him he could do what he wanted to with the house?
Maybe you should try to sit down and have a talk to him. I realize it is hard to move in your children and have to ask for a handout.
I hope you two can work things out. Maybe you and him can work out some kind of arrangement that will make everyone happy.
Good luck to all involved.
God bless.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
24 Feb 08
If you put the house in your son's name and if he is paying the mortgage etc on the house as well as all the bills, that actually makes it HIS house. I'm sorry that you are going through tough times but truthfully, you did move in with your son and he was kind enough to let you. I kind of agree with him that you should not be rearranging things and all. it is after all, HIS place and you are HIS guests. Is your husband working yet? Are you both paying for rent as well as your own way? My advice would be to be saving for a place of your own unless I missed something in your story.
