Do you ever feel like everything you do is just a waste of time?

@stephcjh (32385)
United States
February 25, 2008 2:55am CST
I have felt like that alot in my life. I work myself to death day in and day out to make a better life for me and my family. Sometimes it just seems no matter how hard you try to get ahead, there is always something pulling us backwards. It is discouraging but we never give up. Do you deal with this? Does it make you not try as hard or does it make you try even harder?
11 people like this
45 responses
@dodoguy (1297)
• Australia
26 Feb 08
Hi stephcjh, Strange to say, there might be a very large number of people in this situation. There's a school of thought (ie, mine) which says that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck & talks like a duck, then it probably makes good sense to behave for all intents like it IS a duck (even if it's not). Because even if it's NOT a duck, the end result will still be the same as if it WAS a duck. And then again, with all those things going for it, it most probably IS a duck anyway. What I'm trying to get at, in my roundabout way, is that the world is not "random". The Universe is a living thing, and it does EVERYTHING with deliberate purpose. And it takes great delight in tormenting as many of us as it can, apparently. If you wanted to give the Universe a name, I'd suggest "Murphy" (I don't know why, I never met a Murphy that wasn't either socially dysfunctional or just an outright crook - must be their history of inbreeding or something). Murphy's Law only applies when you don't expect it to, and then it always works in the most effective way to compound one's problems or to stuff things up. There's another school of thought (not an original, but I still like it) that our thoughts attract their corresponding reality. Thus, positive thinking attracts the associated results. Ditto negative thinking. Note that the term "associated" was used, not "desired", because the Universe doesn't care about what you desire, it only hears what you feed it with your habitual thinking behavior, and responds accordingly. That's why all these books and self-improvement courses place such an emphasis on "positive affirmations". By reciting our desired objectives over and over, they eventually become "imprinted" into our habits of thinking, and should thereby attract the corresponding reality. There's other issues which can complicate the picture somewhat - for example, as a herding species, humans are pre-programmed to align their views and patterns of behavior with what they believe that other people are thinking. Just imagine what a warped dynamic THAT introduces to the "as a man thinketh, so is he" equation. All of a sudden, a man's destiny is hopelessly entangled in the disposition of the community that he or she participates in, and is constrained by what he or she thinks that other people are thinking. Additionally, the power to attract a particular reality is magnified enormously by a collection of people all thinking the same thing. The influence that other people have over an individual's thoughts only applies to those people who give a rat's behind about what other people might be thinking or doing. While we're all programmed from before birth to align ourselves with the flock, we can train ourselves out of that way of thinking. Positive affirmations are one way of doing that. Another way is to talk to yourselves - your "me, myself and I", and align your thoughts to the views of that private crowd in preference to everyone else. So you see independent thinkers generally get "ahead" of the crowd, or at least manage to move in the direction that they personally choose for themselves, and don't just get swept along by the collective consensus about how people should think or behave. BUT it can be dangerous. That human herding behavior includes destroying anyone who goes against the grain - that's what people try to do to anyone who they perceive as a maverick, and that means anyone who doesn't conform to the collective consensus (or what any individual THINKS is the collective consensus, which we're all biologically programmed to focus on and align ourselves with). The most common pattern is for other people to try to change your point of view to conform to what they believe, and if you persist in disagreeing they'll inflict all sorts of damage on you in order to pull you into line. This goes on at all levels - emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual. And we can all be honest and admit we've seen this going on all around us since our earliest days. So the independent thinker learns very quickly to keep his or her thoughts to him or her self, while at the same time ignoring the impetus to follow the mainstream as they pursue their own directions. Here's another notion that's a Dodo original (it might not be original, but I told me first) - if you hold a thought, that immediately commences to attract the reality. As long as the thought is held, the attraction remains. As soon as other thoughts displace it, however, your boat gets blown off-course in other directions, and it will take longer to achieve what you were aiming for. SO it's important if you want something, to stay focussed, NO MATTER HOW LONG it takes. If that means forever, so be it - but remember that a ship will only get to its destination if it stays pointed in that direction. And here's another little gem - not a Dodo original, I deduced this one from the obscure rantings of others - there's a whole other structure to our material reality which we can't see, that has linkages that we don't understand by the common way of looking at things. Each thought attracts it's corresponding reality for as long as the thought is held or renewed - and how that happens is really quite mysterious, because it appears to work by "magic" from the purely physical perspective. Seemingly unrelated events and factors fall into place to bring about what people habitually entertain in their thinking. It places into question our common perception of the principles of cause and effect - and it challenges the idea of the future being dependent on the past. But it's true - that's the way it happens. What we think, and how we permit other people to influence our thinking, determines the reality that will be attracted into our living space. Another thought - if we don't like where we are, then we should move to a different space. But to do so requires ACTION (and the act of THINKING is the first element of taking action). Really powerful thinkers can induce the world to conform to their desires just by their thoughts. Most of us have to translate our thoughts in to personal physical action of some form if we want to speed up the process, though. The point is, the thought is the first step, and is the essential step. Know what you want, and don't allow your own thinking to oppose that desire in any way. That last bit leads to another revelation - ACTION presupposes an OUTCOME. If you take action towards a desired result, then that implicitly means that you BELIEVE the result is achievable. To take ACTION affirms that you can see the PORT into which you intend to sail your boat. And if you can SEE the port you're aiming for, then all you have to do is keep pointed in that direction and you are GUARANTEED to get there. So beyond just thinking about something, taking coherent action to achieve it has more power to attract the reality than one might suppose just from the mechanical principles of cause and effect as we commonly understand them. The bottom line - there is no chance or "probability" in this world. It's all just a sophisticated charade paraded before us by Murphy (aka The Universe). The real determinant for what's going on around us in the material world is the maelstrom of collective uncontrolled thoughts churning out of sight in people's minds. So accept that the world is doing its best to frustrate your every attempt to get where you want to be - and that includes everyone else who you permit to divert your thoughts from where you want to be. Knowing this is necessary in order to be able to slug your way through all the resistance to where you want to be. A little reflection will show this to be true at every level, from the most insignificant matter like making breakfast, to the most lofty ambition like getting to Mars (or beyond). Without this realization, we are each like a little sailing boat on a very big ocean, being blown this way and that, and never reaching our intended port because we're not headed in any one direction long enough to get to any particular destination. Anyway, yes I agree, sometimes it seems like everything is against us and the world is conspiring to defeat our every effort to achieve something. It seems that way, because that's exactly what's happening. You can beat the mongrels, but you have to recognize what's going on first, and then plan your campaign to first win each battle, and eventually to win the entire war and establish your own Empire over you particular reality. And it helps (a lot) to recruit a few allies to help you - people who not only think in the same way as you, but also give you their unconditional support for your intentions and actions. The corollary to that last bit is that if you have someone close to you who undermines your intentions, then you really need to disengage that influence from your thinking habits. You don't necessarily need to turf them out into the street, but you do need to develop your own personal strategies to defeat any such negative influence. Be strong, young Jedi, and use the Force.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Torment is absolutely right. Every day, there is some kind of torment in it. amen to Murphy. I know them very well. "What ever can happen, does and will"! I do try to think positive about things but the negatives keep poking their head in at me at all times trying to make me feel like everything I am doing is going to go nowhere. I try to nudge those away and move past them. I associate myslef with my husband and I have finally got him on the same thinking level as I am. Maybe we can advance and get somewhere faster now. Even when the negatives arrive, at least one can keep advancing while the other deals with that part. Before I did all of it by myself. It is very tiresome like that. I am a loner. I have been all of my life. I have never done things that others were doing just because I wanted to fit in. I always do what is best for me and my family. I know alot of people want you to do and be like they are but I just never do it because I don't have time to waste with the things they do that are going to get them nowhere fast. Alot of people I have met in my life, even some of my family members try to drag me out of my norm and I couldn't handle it anymore. I have to do what is best for me. No one is going to make our lives any better if we do not step up and make a difference for ourselves. I am one of those people who does stay to myself, however, some people do not agree with it. It works for me and I have a better chance of getting somewhere in my life because of it. I mean no harm but there is just no time to waste these days. Our lives are so short and I do want to be able to enjoy it someday but right now it is time to work for the goal and get that out of the way first. Amen to the boat going in the right direction if I stay focussed. I know this to be a fact. I know I work very hard every day and it does make me so tired and wears me out especially when curve balls get thrown and makes me upset and frustrated and fall backward, but I know if I do not deal with each one as they are thrown at me, then I will never get anywhere. I would never reach my goal becuase of all of the balls that built up would be in my way. I have never given up yet, but I wish I could just get a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel to know I am close to reaching the goaol. I just want to be able to know it is going to happen if I keep trying. I used to let others get under my skin about how I feel about myself because I was always judged by others. I am still not totally comfortable with not worrying about it but I have come a long ways from totally giving a "crap" LOL. I feel and know that they are no better than I am and they do not work and try as hard as I do. I see what you mean by moving to a different space. that is what I chose to do a little while back. I have to have my space to be able to think and do the things that need to be done to advance. I always take action and I do what to see that light at the end of the tunnel but it seems every time I get close to seeing the light something happens to pull me away from it. You are absolutely right when it comes to the mainstream of people and the material things they possess. I have never tried to keep up with the "Jones" but do try to get the things in my life that makes me the most happy and my family. Amen to the destination. that is my whole point. I feel like I do it all for nothing because I am not even sure if my life will be happy when I do reach my destination, if ever. As far as me staying on the right path and away from those who bring me down, that is what I have chosen to do within the last few years. They caused me to get behind on my goals because they were persuasive in getting me to do what they do which is not good for the way I want my life to be. Thank you for an amazing trip into my reality of the way life truly is and thank you for understanding the way I feel and seeing through the things I am going through and painting me a clear picture of how I already had seen life as it is. I am glad that my thoughts were not just in my head but a pure reality.
@ESKARENA1 (18304)
25 Feb 08
Well I have struggled with delay and resistence all my life. Conservatism (or retardation as i prefer to think of it ) has been the blight of my life. I just work harder to overcome the clawing hands of those who would drag us back blessed be
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
25 Feb 08
I have struggled too all my life. I take one step forward and three back every time it seems, but my willpower keeps me strong and my determination keeps me from giving up.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 08
OH YES! Sometimes I wonder why I bother to try to work 40 hours, keep the house clean, keep our yard up, pick up clothes, toys etc., take care of our pets...I could go on. I often feel like I'm the only one who cares! What has helped me is to allow myself not to care sometimes. If the kitchen is to messy to cook a meal - we go out. If my husband grumbles that we can't afford it, I tell him that since keeping the kitchen was a lower priority for him that cooking was a lower priority for me. ...our agreement is that he keeps the kitchen clean and I do the rest of the house (!). At least its something right? Everything used to have to be perfect...not anymore! I was making myself crazy and my6 family unhappy with my crankiness. Now, I just let some things go. As long as we're healthy and not in physical danger...
• United States
26 Feb 08
How many kids do you have? And what age are they? Sounds to me like it might be time for them to tackle some chores that were age approriate. Nothing too hard of course....just things like making their beds, picking up their dirty clothes and putting them in the hamper, ect. That should help take at least some of the workload off of you. =)
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
isabeliever Amen to that. I am always asking myself why do I do what I do also. It just seems at times no matter how hard we try to make our life better or go smoother, it is always the same thing. I always feel like I am the only one in my house that cares also until here recently, I think i finally got through to my husband about it all. WE finally have a plan to keep up with all of it together also. Everything here used to have to be perfect also, but it is still close, but I do not worry about alot of it like I used to either, but I can only let so much go. I can't help that. That is just me. I'm not really cranky, I just worry about all of it on my own until here recently. the bills, the house, my husbands retirement, no health insurance, the yard work and you name it. It is too much for one person to handle and it all has to be redone again every time you trun around.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
lancingboy I agree. I think they could defintely use the help. No one in a family household should have to do it all by themselves. There is something that everyone can do no matter how small or big. I finally got it through my husband and my daughters head that I am not the only one who lives here.
@balasri (26577)
• India
26 Feb 08
Geethobodesam - You only have responsibility over your actions and not the fruits of your actions.
I consider this is a very good discussion. I got everything in my life after a struggle only .Even if I get a check for a million dollars it won't be honored in the bank for a careless mistake and I have to struggle to rectify to get my money always. The very simple things happening to others happen to me the hard way. I used to get dejected At first. As time passed by I got use to it and am happy that at least something is happening with some delay instead of not happening at all. I don't care anymore now. I do my duty to the maximum possible perfection without worrying for the results. Some body up there got tired of the game and started making things right for me nowadays. And I found myself following the great Karma propagated by BagavaD Gita without my knowledge. There is a famous phrase in the Bhagavad Gita that encompasses such a meaning. "Karmaneva Adikarasthe Mapaleshu Kadachana," which means that you only have responsibility over your actions and not the fruits of your actions. In simpler terms, it means, do your duty and don't worry about the consequences. It is interesting to note that the Gita was a lecture that Lord Krishna gave to Arjuna, a warrior and prince, on the battlefield because Arjuna was in an emotional knot about fighting and possibly killing his own cousins, uncles, and gurus. To Arjuna's emotional angst, Krishna had one response: do your duty, even if it means killing your cousins. Leave the rest to God. There must be a meaning to everything. Let us cheer up for the sake of our dear ones to whose wyes we are the heroes always.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
I know what you mean. everything we have got we had to struggle for also and we still struggle to keep it. Everything happens for my family the hard way too. I just don't understand it. I try not to worry too much about it either because someone is definitely watching over us also. I know God is the one who sees we make it through no matter what is thrown at us and how bad it hurts us when it hits. I have faith in the lord that he will help us get through things, but it is so stressful and tiresome.
@balasri (26577)
• India
27 Feb 08
Life is a cycle of good and bad.Our turn of the good will definitely come.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Yes. I have to have faith for that. I wish we could be able to reap the rewards earlier though while we still have some time and our health.
@lancingboy (1393)
• United States
26 Feb 08
I feel this way every single day 24/7. It's so bad that I have trouble sleeping because I'm worrying about everything. I've been trying to figure out a way to have my own life and not let others (my mom's husband) control my life. Everytime I think I find a way out, something ALWAYS go wrong. This is why I look for jobs online, so I can make at least a little money for myself. I haven't left my house in years (except the occasional weekend at my cousin's place) so it is difficult to do anything for myself. That is the reason I cannot take care of myself, but I want to learn how. Problem is, I'm not allowed to.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 08
Yes I still live with my parents. There wouldn't be anything wrong with that if I had a job and was saving up money to move into my own place (many people my age have to move back in with their parents because the cost of living is so high, at least that's what I've seen on the news.) About the not allowed to take care of myself part is, I'll try to explain... 1) Everytime I get a good idea about how I could get to work, I am told to forget about it. 2) When I think I have a good idea of any kind that would benefit me, I am told no. This man is VERY controlling and wants all of his kids to work with him (he's a welder. My skills would be better used in an office where I can actually do things to help out) and he wants everyone to keep living under his roof even though they are too old. I am almost 30 and it's like I'm still a teenager. I have no transportation at all, I've asked all my other family members to help in many different ways but they are occupied with living their own lives, and I haven't been out of this house in months! I cannot ask any of my friends from school over because nobody is allowed over. It's just so stressful. Everytime I say anything about it to anyone I am never taken seriously.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 08
That's nice that you managed to get out of that situation. At least you had phone time. I never talk on the phone. Of course that has to do with not having anyone to call, plus the other members of my household is on the Internet from the time they wake up to the time they go to bed. At least I get the 11PM-4AM slot lol.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
1 Mar 08
I'm glad that you do get some time on the internet. I'm sorry you have it so rough. Alot of homes are like that. I was raised in a strict home and coudn't do much either. I am glad you do get some time online though.
@sedel1027 (17868)
• United States
25 Feb 08
I don't have this issue but my husband does. He feels like the world is out to get him, even when things are going good. For example, he got a great job and we just bought him a brand new car. He is getting a raise on March 4th, and will be moving into a new department soon that has a substantial increase in pay. All he can focus on is wanting to go to school full time and trying to break into a industry where he is going to make much less than he does now. He mulls around about how his job is "okay" (this is the first place in the 5 years we have been together where he actually likes his boss and they love him, and he is busy all the time) and how every day seems like a waste to him all because he is not programming video games. To him that means he is not going anywhere and becoming stagnant. To me, he should be happy with what he has, keep his dreams in sight but appreciate what he does have. Most people can not afford to go out to eat buy what they want when they want or drive whatever car they choose. We are lucky enough to have that.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Oh really? I agree with you on this one. My husband lost a good paying job last year and he took on a much lesser paying job and we are struggling but we are making it work even though we both are working 7 days a week. We can still make our dreams come true if we just keep trying. It gets very discouraging at times because we try so hard and always fall back to square one and have to start all over again. Your husband should be very thankful and hold his head up high and still search for his dreams. My husband and I used to lease vehicles and my husband was never happy or satisfied with what he got even though I kept telling him to make sure to get what he wants that we can afford. We kept leasing and trading vehicles back in for him because he wanted to keep upgrading. We kept paying payments. I finally got him to realise that we are never going to get out of debt if we keep doing that, so we kept a car and a truck for hauling stuff like lumber because we are always doing projects around the house and we finally have both paid off. We are so very lucky to have both of them also. Alot of people have no kind of transportation. I am very happy that we are still able to pay the bills but it is always a struggle and alot of hard work to do so.
@sedel1027 (17868)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Good job with getting him to see the light. The only reason DH got this car is because he was without one for 4 years (we shared a car) and I am hoping that it motivates him to keep his job - at least until the car is paid off. I know that is wrong, but he always talks about how he likes our quality of life and you can't get that on a game developers salary. As much as he bugs me about working, somewhere deep inside, I really don't think he wants me to work at all (now if only he would say that LOL).
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Thank you. Is DH your husbands initials? If so, that is my husbands initials as well. I'm glad the car may motivate your husband. We have to do what we have to do and I know you know what I mean by that. Why would he not want you to work? I think everyone who has some motivation to do something should be able to do so. He should be very greatful for it.
• United States
25 Feb 08
Steph I know exactly what you mean!!! I was thinking about this same thing this morning while paying some bills...you think you are taking a step forward, only to find you're three behind.I just keep telling myself this too shall pass.It helps sometimes...and the times it doesn't I usually take a long hot bath and block everything out for a while...if I can't change it, I might as well take a break from it every once in a while.Hope you are doing well, I haven't had a whole lot of time to sign on lately...hope to catch you on soon :)~Heidi
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Don't get me wrong though, I do shower LOL. I have to hurry when I do that also because there is never enough time in a day now.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 08
I know how you feel.Truly. I hate those little bumps in the road. I hope everything works out for you and your hubby.I think it this way in a lot of homes though,so don't think you've been singled out or handed a bum hand...and I knew what you meant about the shower thing,lol
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
28 Feb 08
LOL. Yeah, alot of people are going through this. I just wish it would get better and stay better for longer than what it does. There are too many highs and lows and the lows outweigh the highs alot of times and it gets discouraging at times.
@squaretile (3835)
• Singapore
29 Feb 08
sweetheart, i think you need more purpose and vision in life. personally, I guess my faith brings meaning to all that i do. so i don't feel like everything i do is just a waste of time. everything i do points to a final destination. a final purpose, and journey with a goal in sight. so i feel quite good about life, even when trials beset me cos I know that Jesus Christ is there with me each step of the way and there is an eternal future for me.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
29 Feb 08
I do have alot of goals that I work very hard on every dau but what I mean is, every time I reach a goal, we get set back a step or two and we have to start all over at times. We are working 7 days a week right now and no time to enjoy things we have worked so ahrd for. My husband lost a good paying job and makes less now so we both have to work extra hours to pay our bills and that leaves no time to enjoy the things we worked hard to get, like our home for example or time to work in the yard etc. I know God sees us through all of our problems. It just gets discouraging at times, but I know in the long run we will be okay with his help behind us. Thank you for the nice comment. I appreciate it.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
29 Feb 08
Oh I see... yes it does seem frustrating when you are working 7 days a week and you seem to be paddling crazy hard but seem to remain on the same spot. Take heart, God knows each heartache you are going through. And how I cheer myself through hard times includes reminding myself of this phrase "this (phase) too will pass". take care!
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Yes. It always seems that God does pull us through everything but I constantly worry at all times if at some point and time, his helpfullness to me may run out. I know i shouldn't think like that but I just cannot help it sometimes.
@BYOLA2871 (4376)
• South Africa
26 Feb 08
its a matter of time despair sets in whemn it seem sthat things are not working out but you see that is the best time to push
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Yes. sometimes everything happens all at once and it takes a while to get them all worked out, but when they finally do, it is worth it but very stressful and tiresome to have to deal with setbacks all of the time.
@BYOLA2871 (4376)
• South Africa
29 Feb 08
yes when we go through tough times its as if it will never end but thanks to God they do dissappear as suddenlya s they appear but we need to exercise cxaution and patience when we go through those serious and trying times
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Yes. In my situation, the tough times seem to linger around for days on end and the happy times are just a spare of the moment, so we grasp on a hold on as long as possible to those times.
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
26 Feb 08
I think you and I are soul sisters, I feel like that all the time, all my life whatever I have done has not amounted to a hill of beans
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
That is a very good possibility. I have tried my heart out all of my life and still feel like I am not worthy of a nice handshake. I feel like I am just here to do for others and stressed out and worryful everyday. Something gives me the strength and the power to keep going and keep doing though. It ia almost like a robotic feeling. I feel like I am programmed to do only certain things and never anything for myself. I feel like I am doing wrong if I should ever spend the time relax.
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
26 Feb 08
but one thing I will always hold on to is that I am a good person a worthy person and you need to as well.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Thank you. Yes. You sure are a very good person and I know things are rough for alot of us at times but if we stay strong and keep trying to make it, I think it will happen in time one way or another.
25 Feb 08
I am so glad i found this posting today I am actually struggeling with this problem right now and have felt a lot like just giving up on it all and I see my two youngest and know that that can't happen but it does seem like nothing is going right and no matter what I never get ahead..
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Same here. I have a 16 year old daughter and she is so much stronger with a backbone than I am but I have alot of willpower and determination to never give up. Every time I turn around also it is something. I'm not sure exactly what you are going through but ours is always bills or some kind of problem that we did not create. My husband and I always have to struggle with everything. Nothing comes easy for us ever. We are both working 7 days a week now because he lost a good paying job due to no fault of his own. He works outside of the home and I work online. We do advance but just when it seems it is all going very good, BAM, take a few steps back and try again. I will never give up though because we have come a long way to turn back now. I sure hope the grass is greener when we get to the other side. Good luck to you also. I hope everything works out for you too. Don't give up.
26 Feb 08
It seems as though you and I have extremely similar situations..we should chat sometime! Id like to hear more about your online adventures and maybe we could exchange a few ideas!
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Ok. That would be great. Please bare with me though. I have been sick for a week now and I can't stand that. I always earn online every day and I hate when I miss any of it. I accepted your friendship also.
@Saicows (113)
• Brazil
25 Feb 08
Listen my friend. Nobody take you by the hand and pull. Nobody tell you what to do with a 100% sure of. Our lifes are too short to be wondering about it. Live one day and the other. Focus on your plans and don´t let anything get you down, because happyness is there for everyone, but only you can search for yours.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Thank you. I do agree with you. I know there are some decisions that I need to make in my life as to what is most important to me as I have grown older. There are so many hopes and dreams that we have when we are young and they tend to change as we age and go through life. I am trying to come to grip with what I should do to make my life happier and easier. I am finally getting through to my husband how important it is to be as one and make sure it all happens before it is too late.
@Saicows (113)
• Brazil
26 Feb 08
well i´m happy now that you think like that! Sorry if i look to harsh on you, but its carpe diem... Our lives here on earth are too short and too quick for wasting time on being sad and depress... When you see, you´re already 30 or 40 years old and cursing all that good moments that you lose.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Thank you. I know you mean well and I do agree with you. I am in my 30's and haven't enjoyed any of my life yet and I know how precious, short and sweet is. Thais is why i am trying so hard now to do what I can so that we can be able to sit back and enjoy part of our life later if our health doesn't become the issue. I don't want to be sad or depressed any longer either and I try my best not to let things get to me but sometimes alot of things get thrown at me at once and it is very stressful to deal with. Thank you for your kind words. It is greatly appreciated.
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
25 Feb 08
Yes, I feel like this all the time and often it seems like the harder I try the more I feel it's nothing but a waste of my time and energy. I do keep trying though and just pray that at some point in my life someone will see and appreciate what I have done.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
25 Feb 08
Same here. That is exactly how I feel. I never have enough time in a day and I find myself staying up and working longer on things to try and achieve my goals and get things done around the house and with bills and such. I keep trying too and I just hope and pray that some day I will be rewarded for my struggles and hard work. I alwasy say what you have said too. "I hope some day someone will see and realise what all I have done in my life and respect and appreciate and understand why I worked so hard for all of it.
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
25 Feb 08
Right now I'm so upset, tired, frustrated, annoyed - I just want to cry. My 2 youngest kids are driving me crazy (16 & 22). Their too old (and big) to put over my knee which I would love to do right now. I'm totally against physical punishment but I'm to the point I wish we could take em out back to the shed and have grab a switch on the way :( Not that it would do any good, my daughter's father gives and gives and gives money money money and my son's father pays his child support and that's it - doesn't spend 5 minutes a year with the 'boy'.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
I'm so sorry to hear that. Kids can drive you totally crazy at times. I only have one daughter and she just turned 16. Her real father has never had anything to do with her, much less ever give her the time of day. I would be surprised if he even remembers her full name. My daughters dad pays child support finally if that is what you want to call it. $50.00 a week which is a joke. He also claims her on his taxes every other year but he has never once gave the kid the time of day or ever bought her anything or even called to say hi or happy birthday or anything. She lives with me 24/7 and my husabdn is the main bread winner for us right now. I carried all of the insurance for our family up until a few years ago. Her real father is to carry it on her now but we have not got a policy number or anything from the court system and that had been 3-4 years ago now. My daughter used to not have kind of respect for me whatsoever but now that she has a job, she sees what the true meaning of life, work and money are. She has been so good to me in the last few weeks. I think kids need alot of discipline these days because most of them have no respect for their parents at all.
@rb200406 (1825)
• India
9 Mar 08
This is definitely a talk of a pessimist.be an optimist .Life is full of ups & downs .Don't be discouraged
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
9 Mar 08
I try not to be pessimistic but it is hard not to be that when every time you turn around something goes wrong and you have to start all over again. I am always optomistic or I wouldn't keep trying to make it all better. I try to work past being discouraged but it is also ohard when I try to get ahead and things go wrong nonstop at times.
@Hatley (154637)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Mar 08
I feel for you and I am sure a lot of people are in the same boat. I am now retired and for awhile I felt like I was wasting time and space. not contributing. not in the work force but decided to find hobbies and worthwhile projects and now I do not feel so depressed. but when my husband was alive and our kids small a good many times I felt just as you do. Like no matter what we did we could not seem to get ahead so you have my sympahy. just do the best you can. thats all any of us ultimately can do.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Hi. Thank you. I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I know I am very greatful for my husband and my daughter but as hard as we all work, I just wish our life would get alot simpler somehow. I do not mind work but the stress and the constant barriers is what gets me down. I will never give up trying though. thank you for your kind words. It is greatly appreciated.
@Ohara_1983 (4122)
• Kuwait
26 Feb 08
yup i deal sometimes those feeling, i try & try thousand times but still nobody will appriciate me, but if you did a small mistake oppssssssssss you will hear a lot of voices that everyone say why why why, it look like your a criminal for them. i dont know why maybe that will be part of our life.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Yes. I just get so tired of working so hard to move forward and every time we turn around there is an obstacle thrown at us. I never give up though. There is no time for that. I just feel like it is a waste of time to try sometimes because it seems no matter how w make yofe go smooth or better, something is there to stop it.
@breepeace (3028)
• Canada
26 Feb 08
It sounds like you need to make some changes. A few weeks ago I felt like my life was falling apart and I was sick of just being in the rat race so I made some drastic changes. I don't know if they'll pay off but it's better than just existing.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I know what you mean but I don't know what kind of drastic changes I could actually make to benefit us. AQll of my time is taken up working and when there is a setback, then we have to deal with those as well which takes more time. We are working 7 days a week right now because we have to have it since my hubby lost his good paying job back in September 2007. We are trying so hard to maintain our ground but it is a struggle and there is always something happening to put us behind it seems.
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
26 Feb 08
I don't feel everything I do is a waste, but maybe some things. There are times I feel overwhelmed and need a break from daily routine, if that is what you mean, working and working and feeling like you are not getting anywhere.. If so, then I do take a break and do something different to break the routine and then go back again..
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I know what you mean. It just gets so tiresome when you try so hard to advance forward in life and then have to go back and start from the bginning so many times on more than one thing at a time, is actually what I meant, but I do agree that it does get very tiresome working online daily also and sometimes not seeing much progress it seems.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 08
I think everyone feels like you do at some point but "If it don't kill you, It'll make you stronger" I believe that. At the lowest times in ones life you have to take a step back, not out of choice but because a low blow always makes you think twice and look at the whole situation. Maybe those times are there for people to grow from maybe it is a step to get you where you need to be. Instead of trying to tell your self that the glass is always half empty, maybe try to look at it as half full.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Very true but it gets so old when you try so very hard. I have heard the old saying about the glass and i do agree with you on that. I just can't let myself stop for a minute and give up on anything or we will go nowhere fast.
• China
26 Feb 08
Yes I have this feeling lots of times. I always think life is dull and lost most savor, I am a failer in life.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
26 Feb 08
I really don't think any of us who try very hard to be someone or make our life better is a failure, it is just thast we feel we never get what we deserve out of it. I know I am not a true born failure but it gets so frustrating and discouraging when I try so hard and get nowhere when I know I should have at least got somewhere for my efforts.