Do You Run Out Of Sympathy

@wolfie34 (26820)
United Kingdom
March 3, 2008 2:14pm CST
Firstly I make NO apologies if this makes me sound heartless but I got word today that my ex tried to commit suicide, I felt nothing, no compassion, no sympathy NOTHING, do you know what, it sounds terrible but I am sorry he didn't succeed. It's only because of those beloved animals like Zeus who I loved as you know that is the ONLY reason why I am glad he didn't die, because who would look after them? Apparently he failed and was rushed to hospital, I don't know the full detail, but he was facing the sack from work which comes as no surprise. He has always threatened suicide when I lived with him. Paul our mutual friend told me that today and he also said I was wise to get out when I did otherwise I would have had the fall out of his failed suicide bid. Do you run out of sympathy for certain people, do you lose any compassion when someone keeps on about committing suicide? Do you feel if someone keeps on about killing themselves they never do it? It's been five months since I escaped him, any feelings for him were lost, he has tried to contact me by email a few times but every time I have IGNORED him and moved on
16 people like this
22 responses
@worldwise1 (14888)
• United States
3 Mar 08
Your position is understandable, wolfie, yet it is still sad when anyone that you know personally feels so miserable that they are willing to end it all. It might be a hard thing for you to do but it is time you forgave this person who caused you so much unhappiness. Only then will you truly be able to say you have moved on with your life. Hopefully, his near miss will open his eyes and change him for the better.
3 people like this
7 Apr 08
You certainly have nothing to feel guilty or bad about hun, why should you feel anything at all after all that has happened. You know you were right to get out, and you know that those who threaten usually do it for attention. The fact that you care about the animals shows you do have compassion sweetie.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
7 Apr 08
I don't feel bad now, I just feel pity, mind you he's only got himself to blame, but someone else can deal with him now, not my problem, the only problem I have is getting on with my life without restraints of the past, time to get rid once and for all and move on x
1 person likes this
7 Apr 08
I can only offer you a round of applause hun, you have come out of all this hassle a better and stronger person (hugs)
@MsTickle (24991)
• Australia
9 Mar 08
Darling wolfie...I'm overjoyed to read this. You sound so strong and healthy. The creep would not do it, he is merely seeking attention. He needs help but instead of doing the right thing he tries to pull others down with him. He's tried to lay the ultimate guilt trip on you and you are not falling for it. I'm so proud of you mate. WooHoo!!
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
9 Mar 08
Thank you for your wonderful ongoing support, I really appreciate it, you are such a dear friend to me and I appreciate you. I guess that comment above well unless you've been in an abusive relationship you can't begin to understand xxx
@MrNiceGuy (4148)
• United States
4 Mar 08
I'm sorry but that IS extremely insensitive. If someone was that miserable and was finally giving up enough that he actually did try, then you should be compassionate for him. It doesn't matter that you aren't involved with him anymore, just general compassion for someone that is desperate enough to give up on EVERYTHING then thats pretty cold.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24991)
• Australia
9 Mar 08
This person did everything possible to destroy my very dear friend. Our wolfie was a broken man when he left the said relationship and has done the hard yards on the recovery road. He has come out the other side and is getting healthier every day. It's all about survival. If someone you knew insisted on jumping off a cliff and taking you with them, would you do it? I don't think so.If you'd done everything possible and all that was left was to save yourself, I think I know what I'd be doing.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
4 Mar 08
Yes, I would if I were you too. Sometimes, one just has no more sympathy left, so to speak. We are humans and humans tire...
1 person likes this
@jsharriz (436)
• Ukraine
3 Mar 08
u ignored him and moved on..dats ur decision to make in life and infact u made a wise decision..cos its dangeruous living with sme one who is unstable emotionally... but having sympathy is different i guess..i wud have sympathy n feel bad n rush to see even if it was my enemy.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Apr 08
I think that if you have had to live through his threatening to comitt sucicide over and over that you have reached the end of your rope. He is your ex and evidently ex for a good reason so I do not think I would break down in tears over him either if I were in your shoes. There has to come a time in a situation like this that you just have nothing left to give and you could care less.this seems normal to me.
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
7 Apr 08
Once I felt anger when the pain was raw, now I feel pity but life moves on and he is my past and not my present or future.
@jesbellaine (4157)
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
I would have to say that sometimes when we are very tired of loving or understanding someone and they they something bad, you would be surprised that you don't feel a thing. Not a compassion or even hatred... so i guess it is really normal to sometimes feel that way. It happens to me as well with simple things with other people. My ex cheated on me twice with a girl then after few months then one night, he cried and told me that he was wrong... i just dont feel anything, I mean, i know i should feel something.. but i just don't feel anything at alll.. I am not mad nor sorry for him... I guess, after all that he had done, my heart really froze or got hard when it comes to him.
@munhozmib (3843)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
7 Apr 08
Hello, my friend! For me, you are not heartless. You are wise. You could see the problem, and you managed to get out of it without any scars. Some people are really troublesome, and they only make you feel down and down... Until you lose every kind of feeling for the person. You just don't care if the person is crying or smiling, because that person has proved herself to be worth of no compassion. I don't think you should IGNORE him, though. I believe you should still talk to him, but no hard feelings. Perhaps a friendship, but not a best one. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
• India
7 Apr 08
dear i do feel sorry for you as well as him. yes i am glad he did not succeed in his mission however yes i would have sympathy and may be would have tried to be friends with him. at the same time dont think any one would know better than your self what you really went through in your relationship. I am sure you were really miserable not to have any sympathy left. sorry if i sound a bit brash
@susu22 (25)
• United States
4 Mar 08
you have began a new life,so be happy.you are entitled to feel the way you want toand people who are sucidal need professional help.it is up to them to get it,and is not your problem or yopur responsibility.you have a rigt to enjoy your day,your life and your thougts,and good positive friends.all some people ever want is not to learn from their mistakes but sympathy all the time,don,t you get sick of it?susu22
@Aingealicia (1906)
• United States
4 Mar 08
I feel no sympathy for many. I am heartless unless those that deserve heart catch my attention. Ainge
@livintx49 (245)
• United States
4 Mar 08
I guess I'm heartless also but I don't have compassion for people either. I'm one of those that would tell the person to jump if they were on the roof.If your gonna do it-do it or shut up.I'm also one that if I say something I mean it,I do it. I think it's because alot of people are selfish that I'm this way.
@deedee30 (435)
• Spain
4 Mar 08
I think that the people who say they are going to tend not too, Im not saying this is 100% guaranteed but most people with depression wont allow others to know so they dont share that they are feeling that low. Yes I do think that you get to the point of saying enough is enough once you have given all the support you can the only person who can help people like that is themselves.
@howard96h (11663)
• New York, New York
4 Mar 08
Hey buddy, you have been doing great since you left him and it's obvious he is not. He is getting back what he did to you. This is his way of trying to get attention and maybe try to get you to go back to him. You have to pat yourself on the back because it is not easy leaving someone after all that time and your doing a good job and now your finally putting wolfie first.
@bonbon664 (3470)
• Canada
4 Mar 08
I feel the same way as you do Wolfie. I don't have any sympathy for people you describe. For the most part, I think it's a ploy for the master manipulater. I have known situations where people will threaten the deed if they don't get their own way. There are however people who are really mentally ill, and that's different.
@sheils_7 (12)
• India
4 Mar 08
I do not blame you one bit! Obviously it is just a tad bit frustrating if someone (especially your ex) is constantly using the "Look at me, I'm so sad and so heartbroken, I could kill myself" card. I have met some people like that in my past too and the best thing to do is IGNORE them. Its kind of like treating a little tantrum throwing kid. When you ignore them, they are eventually going to move on and you are doing exactly what you should.
@ellie333 (21029)
4 Mar 08
Oh Wolfie in my experience the ones who are always threatening to and don't manage to succeed if they do try are just attention seekers, the ones who really feel that way just do it and especially in men it is the ones like jumping off a bridge, hanging, etc that there is no coming back from, the attention seeking (or sometimes cry for help ones) tend to do the overdoses and maybe not quite deep enough cutting and yes I get pis*sed at them too. Its natural to feel how your feeling as this person hurt you so much and there antics are another way of controlling you with their 'poor me' scenario. You are not heartless, just had ENOUGH or that is what I am reading. I am usually a very compassionate understanding person but we all have our limits and when people do this or threaten to too many times I do lose interest. Oh dear now it is me that sounds cruel and heartless. Stay strong and keep ingnoring is my advice but I am only an outsider looking in, I do not know the complexities involved. Be easy. Ellie :D
• United States
4 Mar 08
A person can take all that one gives and trample on that giving only so much before all sense of even the slightest compassion wears thin. Judging by the many discussions that revolve around this brute and his manipulative ways, I believe this is what you are experiencing, my dear Wolfie. Don't beat yourself up over it. He drained you, you have no sympathy left. xxoo
@TerryZ (22085)
• United States
3 Mar 08
No my friend I dont think your heartless at all. Im so glad you got away from him. You seem so much happier now. But thats what happens when someone doesnt appreciate us we loose sympathy and compassion for them. Im glad your okay. xxx