How do you deal with Cowards!?

@kamran12 (5556)
Pakistan
April 13, 2008 12:40am CST
Cowards are special type of people. Because of their low self esteem, they appear friendly to you and may even flatter you often, just because of their fears that they can't face you. But, when an opportunity arises to attack you especially when you are weakest, they would gather their cohorts and will attack you ensemble in the dark, just like hyenas attack as a herd. There was a guy down the street where I lived in my homeland. He would act nice, normally, but whenever his cousins and friends visited him from a nearby village, he used to start acting like he is a hero and would cause problems in the locality. I used to try to avoid them, for it was a disgrace to deal with them. How do you deal with cowards? Do you entertain them with attention or do you try to avoid them? Have you ever had an experience with a coward(s)?
5 people like this
12 responses
@raijin (10383)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
Yep, he's a coward indeed! Normally, I don't deal with them since I know that I would only be wasting my precious time. He feels that way, then so be it. If that's what makes him happy, then I let him live his life that way. As long as that person doesn't attack me or create such offensive move against me, then that's about the time I'd cross the line. If he wants to raise hell, then I'd face him head-on. If he seeks help from his relatives, then so shall I too. Because here in my place, we still practice close family ties and that's where you can count mostly on them..
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
14 Apr 08
Hello raijin!:-) You are right that it's usually a waste of time to deal with them. One can always show them though, that they are better than what they have relegated themselves to. And yes, sometimes it's difficult to not tackle them head on especially when they are creating problems for others. Family ties play an important role in dealing with organized and group offensive in my part of the world too. Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Apr 08
All cowards in the sense you are talking about are bullies. I have found the best way to handle such cowards is to stand up to them. Stand your ground and look them in the eye. And make sure you have something funny to say! LOL Humor is the best tension diffuser there is. On the net, it's harder of course, and often it's better to just stay away from them. But sometimes, they 'follow' you like a dog with a bone and just won't let you be. In this instance, if you must, answer them with logic, truth and yes humor. Cowards and bullies thrive on confrontation and getting under your skin. If you don't allow that, they will move on to easier targets. Then of course there are the manic types on whom logic, reason and humor are unfathomable concepts and truth is a foreign language. Depending on the provocation, I will either play with them or just stay away from them. It depends solely on the nature of their obsession. Whether a coward comes at me singly or in a group, no matter what THEY may believe about their affect on me personally, it's of no account to me. It's when they go after innocents that they will see the side of me that eventually will (and has) defeat them. I'm patient. That's the best tool in my arsenal of defence. That and logic. Drives them right up the wall! And that is always fun to watch. LOL
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
13 Apr 08
Hello spark!:-) Like you, I'll respond by dividing them in off-line and online cowards. With off-line ones, it IS sometimes difficult to avoid and to hold oneself, but there is no charm in beating up a coward, fun and pleasure is in beating equals, where one can at least say that, hey, I haven't beaten someone who doesn't know how to fight! With online ones, you have pretty much well worked out strategies, interesting! Yes, it would depend on how they come, and while it's no pleasure in beating them up either, situation may warrant an action and one should be up to the task in this case. Logic may not be the right tool for everyone, but it irritates me when someone is blind to logic! "no matter what THEY may believe about their affect on me personally, it's of no account to me" Beautifully said, I appreciate! Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
27 Apr 08
Kamran, I just found this response and BR at the same time. Sorry for the delay in getting back to this thread. Thank you for the br by the way.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
27 Apr 08
No problem, my friend, and you are welcome!:-)
@echosu (152)
• Singapore
13 Apr 08
For them in my opinion is practice in their life,and we can help them to try,when they have a successful experience they will feel,may be it is not bad.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
13 Apr 08
Knowing that one can be successful even with practice can be freeing. Did you have such an experience where someone changed by practice?
@echosu (152)
• Singapore
13 Apr 08
For me I always scare to make a speach in stage,but in my university,I have to do it,so I try my best to talk,more practices,after that I feel I am not nervous now and my friends can not believe it.It is a good improve for me.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
13 Apr 08
Oh then, it might be that you just had lack of confidence and you improved with practice. It was same with me echosu, I was very shy child then I have to come out into public and public dealing!:-)
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
I am disdainful of them whenever they come to my attention. I am just indifferent to them most of the time. If there are things, traits or people that I don't like, I just ignore them. I don't dwell on them and cause myself undue strain. I have better use of my time. I also know a neighbor who are like your neighbor and I never exchange more than 10 words with that person in the last 10 years. LOL! I just ignore them. I don't care what they do as long as they don't affect me and my family. I go my own way and they go their own way. I find it to be better that way.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
14 Apr 08
Hello cdparazo!:-) Ignoring them can be the best way to go with them even though it may not always be possible. Yes, it's waste of time to spend on them. It's easier for me to ignore them if they are affecting just me, but when they take it out on weaker, I find it hard not to do something about it. You are certainly wise in your ways with regards to such people! Thanks for sharing!:-)
@Hatley (110331)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Apr 08
I have not known many cowards but I met a bus driver a few years ago who I would say wasa coward. The man in the seat in front of me said something nasty to a bigger man across the aisle. the fight got really bad and the bus driver just kept driving. well the big man pulled the smaller man out of his seat and was trying to punch him. I yelled at the bus driver who did pull over. I said help that guy . hes being really hurt. the driver just stood there. I grabbed my heavy handbad and whomped the bigger guy on the head .It did not stop him and all the men on the bus just sat there. so the woman behind me had a bag full of books and she hit him so hard he stopped and just sat there. this woman and I managed to get the littler man back up onto the bus seat.by this time the police had arrived and I got off the bus. that driver was a real coward and a really big man who could have intervened but did nothing.
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
14 Apr 08
Hello Hatley!:-) The bus driver in your case should have intervened. Though it wasn't nice on the part of man to say something nasty either but it's no pleasure in beating up weaker. I think, you eventually did the right thing. Thanks for sharing!:-)
• United States
14 Apr 08
When I deal with cowards I tent to put pressure on them a lot into making them do what I want them to do. I deal with cowards all the time so I am just used to it I guess.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
14 Apr 08
Hello alangardner! How do you put pressure on them!?
@j12345 (163)
• New Zealand
13 Apr 08
those type of people are emtionally unstable and probably have pyschological issues they need to deal with .... they obviously have a fear of fitting in .... where they would be nice to you to please you and your expectations and then totally run riot when their 'army' comes to fulfil their " army's", expectations, their ability to change personalities isnt healthy and they should never be trusted
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
13 Apr 08
They do seem to have a lot of fears, j12345, and probably psychological problems too. How can they be taught to overcome their fears?
@maxsee212 (800)
• United States
13 Apr 08
since your asking for opinions, i would gladly voice out what i think should be done with cowards. cowardness is the result of fear and fear is the result of mainly not knowing what's ahead. i said mainly because there are a lot of minute things that could cause people to fear something. i would say that this coward of yours needs a friend because apparently he wants to attrack attention. like you said, sometimes the coward would appear nice and then the next the coward is bitting you butt. i would say befriend the coward and let the coward learn from you. i say you because you seem to be the kind of person who knows what he's talking about. so this is your chance to change people from being a coward to become the braves person living in your locality. if you just stand in one spot and don't do anything to change something, nothing is going to change to the betterment of the society. stand up and tell the coward person to stop what he's doing and become a hero. this is my opinions about cowards. i will accept that i have been a coward sometime in my life and i am pretty sure so as everybody else. you might not realize it because it has been a small spec in our lives but we have all experienced being a coward in our lives.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
13 Apr 08
Hello maxsee212!:-) You have shared a lot of interesting points. I do believe that it is 'mainly' because of the fear of unknown. I would say though that there are two types, perhaps...ones who don't know what may be ahead or how dangerous the consequences of their actions could be if they face. In this case, it is easier to make them understand that they can be better. Then, there are those who "choose" to behave like cowards. They know that they won't get happy from 'inside' with this behavior and they can do better, but they still 'choose' to be cowards. It's there the problem of correction gets very tough. One can still offer them advice and tell them that they need to appreciate their inner strength and what they are humanly capable of, without actually befriending them or associating oneself to them. Your opinion and perspective is very much appreciated! Thanks for sharing!:-)
• United States
13 Apr 08
Good Evening Kamran, :))) I have found the cowards I have run across full of hot air. Lots of big puffed up talk, boosting of accomplishments that never have any evidence of having actually happened. I treat them at first with humor, and when I have had enough, all I usually have to do is stand my ground and they run for the hills. I see it in some of the good ole boys around here where I live. Redneck mentality. They don't scare me or faze me a bit
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
13 Apr 08
Good evening Angelwhsipers!:-) "when I have had enough, all I usually have to do is stand my ground and they run for the hills" and one wonders if anything they used to say is even close to reality! I liked your expression!:-) Such people do like to talk about their unachieved achievements, and you have a better way to deal with them...with humor! and then standing up. I guess, I am boring, no humor anywhere in the vicinity! Well, one can learn things everyday! Thanks for sharing!:-)
@julyteen (13256)
• Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
13 Apr 08
i never meet a coward. i don't know what kind of people they are, what their threats, attitude and what inside their mind. maybe if i meet one of them i will not trust them immediately, i wanted to know first their abckground from others.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
13 Apr 08
Hello julyteen!:-) It's always helpful to know someone's background to treat them accordingly. Thanks for sharing!:-)
@voldo29 (103)
• Australia
13 Apr 08
When i was at school this one guy always sucked up to me because a few years before that we had a fight (fist fight) and i smashed him. Now he is really nice to me and it gets really annoying. Because he is a coward alot of people picked on him. My friend who was 6ft 1 at the time was friends with him and told him to stick up for himself. He did and they stopped picking on him, for awhile. They started again and the 6ft 1 guy came into it and they havent bullied him since. So i say... let them know they can actually can do things.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
13 Apr 08
Hello voldo29, It would seem as though even letting him know that he can do things didn't help, as he still needs your 6ft1 guy to net get bullied!?
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I do know people like that. I just treat them politely when I am faced with them and find a way to move on rather quickly. I feel bad that somewhere in their lives something caused such low esteem but i'm not a shrink and i wouldn;t know how to help them and so i don't get very close to them.
@kamran12 (5556)
• Pakistan
14 Apr 08
Hello sid556!:-) Yes, it would appear that they have had some problem somewhere in their lives that made them lower themselves. It's good to be away from them as much as possible, as they may cause you to lower yourself too. Thanks for sharing!:-)