Arranged Marriage / Love marriage

@tops76 (289)
India
April 13, 2008 10:49am CST
Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage, which one is best? Why?
11 responses
• Philippines
13 Apr 08
If both the persons involved are really stubborn, proud and selfish, neither will work. I think anything will work as long as the spouses are willing to accept each others mistakes, let each other grow and change for the better. I remember a lesson I had once. "People get married not because they can't live without each other but because they choose to live together". Interesting isn't it?
@tops76 (289)
• India
14 Apr 08
Yes, it is acceptance and ignorance of other's mistakes which is important.
@tops76 (289)
• India
17 Apr 08
New idea! I agree with it.
• Philippines
17 Apr 08
Thanks. :D Actually, I learned all about this in college. We had a course on marriage and sexuality. I was an advocate of single blessedness before but after taking that course, I though it would be nice to get married and really love someone. According to our teacher, love is a cycle. You give without expecting anything and it comes back to you in the most fulfilling way possible. Hope everyone here has/will have a fruitful marriage. :D
@andrejuly84 (1047)
• Romania
13 Apr 08
love marriage cause you will live with that person all your life and you must love him in order to accept him with good and wrong parts. only love can make you really happy so if you want o be happy, get marry with the one you are in love not with someone which your family choose just because he has money or because they like him more. maybe arranged marriages work but the partners aren't totally happy and satisfied.just my opinion,maybe other people think different, but for me love is the most important, more than money or my family's opinion in this.
1 person likes this
@tops76 (289)
• India
14 Apr 08
Yes, Love is more important than that of Money. Relations based on Love lasts longer.
@mommyboo (13262)
• United States
17 Apr 08
I absolutely agree with this!! When you marry, that is now your family. You are a couple and the most important thing is your bond with each other and how you treat each other, etc. Money, your extended families, friends, and everybody else's opinions mean nearly nothing compared =)
@tops76 (289)
• India
17 Apr 08
yes! and thanks! Its really nice to know that you think the same like me.
@kezabelle (2986)
13 Apr 08
I think both are able to work and be the best as long as both husband and wife want it to work. Marriage doesnt just happen it needs to be worked at if both parties want to it can work and be wonderful
@aowaow (1521)
• Indonesia
14 Apr 08
No best answer than this one. In my opinion.
@tops76 (289)
• India
14 Apr 08
yes, both are able to work, needs to be worked at to bring wonderful result. Nicely commented.
@mommyboo (13262)
• United States
17 Apr 08
Love. I don't believe in arranged marriages. Here is why. When you are with a person, you should choose to be with that person, not be forced into it. Nobody wants somebody else to pick their friends for them. An arranged marriage is in essence, somebody else picking your friend. What's worse though is that this is your life partner! I cannot imagine anybody except me making a choice of this magnitude without a huge margin for error. This is not to say that everybody chooses well for themselves, many people don't - REPEATEDLY. I just feel very strongly that it is a choice that is for each person to make wholly themselves, and not something that should be influenced or chosen by anybody else. The one exception might be if somebody WANTS their marriage arranged. It just seems an old and outdated tradition which is more often seen in other countries/cultures. It isn't really an acceptable American thing.
@tops76 (289)
• India
20 Apr 08
Love marriage has its own importance and so is the case with Arranged marriage. It largely depends to which country and tradition we belong to. As in my case I am not an American. In our country Arranged marriage is most favored one. But again both Love and Arranged marriages have their own importance and both are doing well as far as the life after marriage is concerned.
@jstaubin (423)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I think that they both can work but love marriage is the best. You can go in to a love marriage knowing a bit more about the person then you do if it arranged.
@tops76 (289)
• India
14 Apr 08
Yes, Love Marriage has an advantage of knowing each other a little bit more before marriage. Mind this only little bit more, same don't you think it can be done (know each other) after marriage. Anyway, I think that it depends on partners, their chemistry..... Arranged marriages are equally successful. Nice response! Keep it up.
@subha12 (18472)
• India
14 Apr 08
it depends on the way you want it to work. if the both partner wants it to keep going,. this can go long way,. still my personal opinion is, in love marriage you actually want to live life witgh the person you like. there is not taht force to get married to the person chosen by others.
@tops76 (289)
• India
14 Apr 08
Yes, I agree with you, actually marriage has to be set to work, after all no one is perfect and there is always a room for little bit improvements in whole areas of life, whether it is personal life, social life, ............... Thanks for responding!
@aowaow (1521)
• Indonesia
14 Apr 08
No matter which path you go, as long as you got the security from it, both may works. If it doesn't, even in marriage based on self-pick (love) will has the same chance of ending up in a divorce. This depends on how people treat oneself, the spouse, and the relationship. I had many samples around me, those who successfully run for the arranged marriage. Yet, in other side, I found many failed marriage based on love marriage too. So, what we think at first time, but just not be always happened in the future. The same with these, we think arranged marriage are not based on love will end up soon into broken one, but the fact it shows a better result of love feedback rather than love marriage. The reason is too long to write in here. If both are equally run, I will on the arranged marriage side. The lasting of a marriage relationship is much better in this one. Wait for more 10 years later, then I can conclude which result of these two conditions might suit the best.
@tops76 (289)
• India
14 Apr 08
Yes, both has their own pros and cons, it depends on the either parties how they manage it. And Yes, I think what may be the situation today, it will by and large remain the same after 10 years. Nicely commented. Best of luck!
@jesbellaine (4157)
• Philippines
17 Apr 08
As much as possible, I would choose "love marriage" since the reason for marrying is "LOVE" not of all other reasons. I find myself hard to stay in a relationship when I don't love a person. So I choose "love marriage".
@sharay (2778)
• India
17 Apr 08
I feel both can be good and cannot be too...depends on one fundamental thing called "LOVE" People think that in love marriages, since both of them get a chance to understand themselves, there wont be any problems in future, but i think the fact is that when u r in love, most of the times, u go blind, our eyes and heart tend to see only the goodness of the person and the mind does not even want to recognise the other side of the person even if it shown in some way...its only after they get into the married life, problem starts after coming to know each and every quality and character of the other person and not able to stand it
17 Apr 08
for me,it would be love marriage..nothing compares to marrying the person you love so much because it would then be very easy for you to accept the good and bad sides of that person..you'll be able to give your trust and utmost honesty to the person..you won't feel strange and you will both work together on any problems that will come your way because you both love each other and you don't want to ruin that love you have..how i wish i could also find that true love too for my future marriage..
@gcrew931 (230)
• Philippines
17 Apr 08
I think since arranged marriage is cultural we can't say anything negative to it. We can't really judge other cultures based on our own culture. I mean, what makes our culture right in the first place? I guess if arranged marriages don't work for us then fine but if other culture thins it is proper then who are we to say that it is wrong. So for me both forms of marriages are acceptable. I think it is just a matter of culture dictating which is more appropriate for you. We just have to let it be. Oh well, that's my two cents worth. Anyway, I really like to talk about arranged marriages. It is a very interesting topic. My question is, Has anyone of you experienced this? Can you tell us all about it? Are there any regrets and also do you believe that loving someone can be developed? Has it done you any good? I'm sorry I have a lot of questions. This is because this one is the topic of my thesis. LOL