An evening stroll that I wished that I had never taken
By p1kef1sh
@p1kef1sh (45681)
April 28, 2008 2:47am CST
Last evening I took my usual stroll around the myLot garden looking for stray discussions that I might have missed. Dead heading a few responses. Smelling again some of those posts that have made me smile and generally enjoying the comradeship and warmth that surrounds us in so many of our communications. The debates and laughter that characterise so much of why we persist in choosing to walk in this particular place. However, turning a corner to see how a good and valued friend is I came across a shocking and horrifying sight. My friend was lying, wounded and bleeding, having been attacked mercilessly by a sniveling, cowardly cur, who made all sorts of negative claims about her integrity, her looks, even the mental capacity of her child. The reason given was that my friend is allegedly not popular at her workplace. She was still fighting as this pathetic creature slunk off to its lair. Presumably to design its next attack. Moving on, I found another coward feasting on a piece of another friend. Again, this pathetic specimen of, I was going to say humankind, but this is sub human, could not resist making an attack on someone simply because she had aired thoughts that this low life did not agree with. The garden is being threatened increasingly by this sort of behaviour. I have referred the more serious of the cases above to the Head Gardener. But may I just ask for some restraint. If this continues we shall no longer be able to take our strolls. In fact it may be preferable just to move house. Please feel free to comment
17 people like this
27 responses
@nannacroc (4049)
•
28 Apr 08
I have already moved house from another site because of this behaviour. Maybe the decent members here should stay and fight to keep this site the happy place it has been. We need to get together and report these people, if enough of us do this maybe it will be the vandals that leave. The bullies win too often nowadays with decent people being the ones to move. Let's try not to let them win here.
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
28 Apr 08
You are right Nanna. But I don't know right now whether I have the energy. Where does the hate come from. Some will say that it is only a few stars etc and that they are nothing to get worked up about. To a degree I am in agreement with that. But I don't see hate mail going to people that raise other "trivial" posts. No one says to the myriad of "What Bux sites are you on" discusions that their children are educationally sub normal, or that their breath smells. I am very disappointed Nanna, in the childish, playground bully responses that are doing the rounds. If I can help stop it, then that's great. Right now I am thinking of starting my own board. Members by invitation only. LOL. You will be on the membership list fear not. You haven't got a spare $200,000 dollars to start it up by any chance.
4 people like this
@nannacroc (4049)
•
28 Apr 08
That's the sort of attitude that lets the bullies win. Why would I have dollars?
If I'd got that much spare I'd start my wool/chip shop.
I'm glad you would include me in your exclusive club.
3 people like this
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
28 Apr 08
My Good Man! Would you be fear-mongering? Evening strolls can be littered with dog droppings, but only if your not watching where you place your feet. Those who are attacked are leaving themselves open! myLot is a Wonderful Place, but only as long as We make it so! A few of us worry over ratings, but have you ever heard of anyone being seriously harmed by a Falling Star? Of course Not! Everything remains intact, even in the ashes of a falling star. myLot is fun, but those who worry needlessly and post about it, are tearing the house down around us. Lets begin Posting and Responding Like Adults, and let those with small minds worry about trolls!
3 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
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30 Apr 08
barehugs the point in this post isn't the falling stars but the abuse that at least 2 members have been subjected to! Mylot is fun but not when you are being viciously attacked when posting a perfectly relevant discussion. Surely if you don't like a discussion about a certain subject you ignore it and move on to something you do like - not attack someone and take pleasure in doing so, that my friend is NOT fun nor is it acceptable! xxx
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
28 Apr 08
I can't help Laughing! It would seem the end is near! Whats so important about a star rating that means nothing anyway? One of our members is trying to get rid of her star completely,(what a waste of time) (but if shes having fun, and it seems she is!) Shes now down to 6. Anyway I'm still hoping to find someone who finds this childish behaviour as comical as I do, so that we can laugh together!
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
28 Apr 08
I think that it depends what you mean by attack Barehugs. Tell me my discussions are immature drivel, or why am I getting my knickers in a twist over ratings and stars, and I'll probably agree with you. Start telling me that my children are sub normal, that my breath smells and that you are going to make trouble for me in my work place; or that I am lying in my posts and I view that as going beyond what is acceptable behaviour in what is supposed to be a discussion site, not a bear pit. I am not the sort of bloke to get too worked up about things normally, but my dander is raised on this one. I agree entirely that we should start behaving as adults. The fact that some are not is what upsets me.
3 people like this
@kbourgerie (8780)
• United States
28 Apr 08
I feel much like you do, if this persists I will let my garden shrivel and die. I don't see any point in watering something that will never bloom. I have always maintained a sunny disposition, or at least, as best as I was able. Sure from time to time, I gave to much of my personal life and opened myself up for controversy. My undoing there, I guess. It just seems that lately the garden of mylot is filled with treachery and deceit, broken flagstones and flowers withering on the vine. Too bad, I used to like coming here, but I am thinking more and more of living in the solitude of the desert.
4 people like this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
28 Apr 08
KB, and Pike, please do not get discouraged. These things come and go in waves here on the lot. I have seen it many times over the 16 18 months I have been here. There was a point that I took a three month hiatus, because I could not stand it. What I have found is that when we give up, the bad guy wins. I pretty much stick to my friends discussions and do not enter the arena of the unknown, when this is going on. It will become quiet again and the dust will settle, we will have a period of joyious communication and debates again for a period of time.
Honestly no matter where you go on any type of forum this thing happens. At some point we have to say enough, this is our home and we will keep the gardens as clean as we can.
2 people like this
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
28 Apr 08
You must not have strolled over to my neck of the garden. I was having a bonfire. But it's ok, no one is feeding off of my carcass. I am always ready to defend my position against those sub human cowards you speak up in this post.
It is bound to happen. It is how we deal with the assailants that defines us.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 08
pikefish this is just so awful that a few cowardly villians
manage totry to spoil it for the rest of us Mylotters just
becausethey do not agree with something one of us has written and hit the minus key and destroy someone's reputation
just for fun. Like slugs they chomp on mylotters just
because they did not agree. I saw one who claimed this mylotters son was a moron in spite of the fact that the lady was unknown to him and that her child had made all a's and b's. The head
gardener has a huge task in front of him and a lot of upset
Mylotters to face. This menace inour mylot garden may just
drive a lot of mylotters out of the garden entirely.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
28 Apr 08
The mylot Garden is a beautiful place. So many different flowers to see and smell. But like all beautiful flowers there are weeds. I think when you talk about the weedds and give them care they become bigger and stronger. When you come a cross a weed a weed, don't give them strength by talking about them, pointing them out, or even giving them second thought. that is how the weed grows to be big and strong. When you come across a weed in a garden like this, the best thing to do is pull them up by reporting them, not be talking about them.
2 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
29 Apr 08
i am glad we got to talk on PM, so now you understand that is not what i meant. I don't know if you are going to read this, but I just want you to know that I and every friend you have here wish that you would come back and join us. You are too much of a friend to all of us here to just leave
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
28 Apr 08
That is my usual tack Momma and I could not agree more with you about not allowing them to flourish. But if no one ever says anything then the weeds will flourish and eventually take over. I don't think that any of us want that. They were of course reported.
3 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
28 Apr 08
I haven't posted this discussion to boost my ego Momma, and I am sad if you think that I have. All that I have tried to do is make the point that a line must be drawn. For me, it is when someone attacks another in a cowardly and underhand way. Sorry if I have disappointed you, that was not my intention.
3 people like this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
28 Apr 08
Ouch, seems I missed some on the lot last night. There is one in almost every discussion. The last 2 I have made have not been of a serious nature at all, yet there has to be someone that does not read correctly or wants to turn your words into something that they are not.
One of the things I love about you Pike is that you speak your mind and stand your ground. That is what it takes to keep the grounds around our lot clean of malicious and vicious folks. Never the thought however to pack up and move our humble abodes. As this is where we live and play we can united and under one umbrella of kinship and friendship preserver.
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
28 Apr 08
As you know Angel I am a 50 year old man with the mind of a 12 year old. I endeavour to never upset anyone intentionally, and if I do so unintentionally I will apologise. I think that healthy debate is just that - healthy. But when it descends to name calling it ceases to be informed but loutish. I don't want to move house especially. I like it here and I have developed some good and close friends. But there is a contract there, unwritten admittedly. If I am your friend then I shall pick you up when you fall. Not always fight your battles, or even join in. But if someone does something as underhand as attack you and damage the integrity of myLot at the same time; then I feel we should all get off the sidelines to protect what is precious. (Am I too late for the Democrat nomination?!)
2 people like this
@suehan1 (4344)
• Australia
28 Apr 08
p1ke i like you love our comradeship.and love our little bantering that goes on.we have fun in our mylot garden.even though i do not know these fellow gardeners that you speak of,it is not nice that they are attacked here.i agree if this sort of behaviour continues we will not be able to stroll around our garden,for fear of these worms.glad you spoke with the head gardener.cheers sue
2 people like this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
28 Apr 08
It always saddens me to see people being attacked online. The attackers tend to be cowards who are hiding behind their computers. It is unlikely that they would say those same things to the person's face. Maybe they would though? Maybe they have no friends, and that's why they make their attacks online too? Maybe they ARE "sub-human" as you suggested? That would explain a LOT, like the trolls. lol. Ah yes... trolls are said to roam beneath the earth's surface... "sub-terra" for the "sub-humans". It all makes perfect sense now!!! 
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
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28 Apr 08
I rarely bother with these sorts of things. But on this occasion I could not believe my eyes. A little rough and tumble we can all deal with. But this was nasty, personally motivated and deliberately antagonistic. But involving a child was beyond the pale. Say what you like about me, but don't attack my child. I am sure that you will understand. Yes, I think that this "person" is beneath contempt and is sub human. She gives trolls a bad name! Thanks for the comments. It's about time for my evening stroll now.
3 people like this
@BYOLA2871 (4371)
• South Africa
28 Apr 08
well,i gues we all need to knwo what we should do and what not we shouldnt ,its just unfair for us to think we can score points by attacking other members inthe mylot garden and besides if you think you are the best at doing that there will always be someone who is better ta it than you are but in my opinion i think we need to rspect ourselves and for God sake have as much fun as we can when we come into the mylot gardedn i particularly love to savour the sweet of my friends" discussion and hear their opinion on various issues,its a graet way to let out stress for me why the will i attack you verbally,for those who are in the habit of doing this please can you just down your weapons?and let us have a good time herethanks
@BYOLA2871 (4371)
• South Africa
28 Apr 08
you are welcome,you raised a very fundamental issue here which i think all of us must address so that we dont make this place become a forum for settling personal discords or a forum for letting out frustrations
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Apr 08
Oh P1Ke - you have found the mylot underbelly and it isn't pretty is it?
I've had my share of tangles with curs like this, and been left bleeding myself, but not and never defeated. Now I stay away from that side of the site. But oh it's hard when friends are involved. Instead, I will pm them my support. This is a community, and like any community, has it's rotten apples. Don't you wish though that we could gut the core of these apples and bake them with brown sugar and just CONSUME them? I do.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Apr 08
Dearest friend, I have just replied to your email.
My heart bleeds for you, it really does.
It also explained another defection here yesterday.
We will be in touch off site - you betcha!
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
29 Apr 08
This discussion has hurt me more than any other discussion I have ever posted. Posting it was a depressing and disappointing step for me Sparky. I couldn't stand on the sidelines and watch someone who has been a true friend to me go down without saying something. I am disappointed with many of the responses here. But it has helped me make a decision that I have been putting off for a long time. Take care Sparky.
2 people like this
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
28 Apr 08
Amen and well put.. If I do not agree or if it is something that I am not interested in then I just go on my way, I keep strolling also.. If it is something that should be admired and smelled, if it is a rose, then I do stop and enjoy a few words also.. I believe that "if you don't have something good to say, then don't say anything at all".. The opinions or thoughts of someone else, (unless aimed at you and you were name specifically), are the reasons for this community.. If we can't stroll around and enjoy the garden, then there is no reason for it.. I am making it a habit of watching for certain posts and rating them with a (+).. My way of saying thank you and great job.. We are not all writers, we wouldn't be on here if we were, we would be at book signings, but we are all humans trying to make a go of it and living our lives and having a forum to chat with others.. I say that if someone doesn't like this Mylot garden, then they should leave it.. No one on here is better than the other.. Please check those roses on your way out, they may need picked and enjoyed, have a great day..
3 people like this
@RedFeather (427)
• United States
28 Apr 08
i feel very bad for you friends - i'm glad that you're there to back them up.
but the real reson i'm responding is because of your beautiful analogies - i love gardening and nature - and i love that you brought them indoors for me to enjoy on this chilly morning...
thanx so much, p1kef1sh, for making me smile!
3 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
29 Apr 08
I know what you mean about the negative feedback on Mylot. We can all have an off day once in a while. But it seems that some people wallow in trying to get a rise out of others on this site and I for one really don't see the point. We can all have fun on this site and enjoy ourselves. But there is always a handful that try to spoil it for the whole bunch.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
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29 Apr 08
You know my darling you have a wonderful way with words! I am sorry to hear of this happening and I know how horrible it can be but i have to be honest and tell you it is not a new thing and does sometimes happen here - in fact it has been happening since I started here well over a year ago now - I think it is part of the human nature to bully others to make yourself feel superior but most people grow out of this when they are young children! I do hope that your friends are healing from their wounds and have no further problem! xxx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
30 Apr 08
Pikey my lovely, dear friend you may see them as kind words but they are my real feelings and very truthful! I DO always try to see the good in people and situations even although it isn't easy but when I see people being abused in unprovoked attacks I will always sand up to the agressor not just here but in real life too - it is just the way I am! I have not had the energy or the concentration to keep up with what is going on around me but I am trying to build up my strength so that I can once again be a true friend and stand by people in this situation! I am distraught at the thought of losing such a gentleman from our garden because of these awful slugs who do such damage.
1 person likes this
@febinsoft (213)
• India
29 Apr 08
Yesterday was the most important day when i completed about 100 discussion in one day. And i got two stars. And i am very much happy with that i respond to top discussions and also discussions in making extra money.
1 person likes this
@Aingealicia (1905)
• United States
2 May 08
P1kef1sh,
I feel terrible you feel this way, you are such a wonderful addition to this garden that is growing and blooming. I know I look at discussions and even some of my own are of what you are talking about. However, it is up to us to weed the garden.
Funny you should mention about the garden and I do have a saying, "Grow where you are planted."
Ainge
1 person likes this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
29 Apr 08
Very ,very nicely and creatively written P1kef1sh. Initially when I stated out here on mylot I was reaaly taken by some of the political, religious and other controversial discussions. I participated in a few and all was well. I gave them a break after a while though as I would only be repeating myself.
One fateful night I saw a discussion and decided to comment. To this day i am a bit bewildered at how cross some people can get on such a site were the words adult, worldwide and discussion should actually form the basis of how we share our views. I am sorry to hear that your friend was nearly torn to bits.
I started a discussion on the topic after my little run in where I tried to highlight the fact that a discussion is a far cry from a verbal attack. I like to get in it sometimes where I have to bring up my hands to ward off blows but below the belters are just illegal in any game.
I enjoy my time here and just find some persons to just be rather miserable in their own skins so they will try to get under another persons skin. I think there are enough of us here who knows what a discussion constitutes and can keep this site/garden from being destroyed. There is reason why gardens must not be left unattended. The weeds will spring up and choke the beautiful flowering plants are vegetables depending on the tpyr of garden.
I dont think mylot is in any danger of going under any time soon. Rather....Time is longer than rope and one soon hangs themself when they stretch and strain and reach the end of their feeding line.
