Can you really move on without finding a new partner?

longing - i look outside and see how time passes me by without healing what i'm feeling inside.
@kharen (1488)
Philippines
June 24, 2008 11:10am CST
How can you say you've alrady moved on in a past relationship? Can you really move on without finding a new partner? What if all I do now is stay at home? Nothing to do but at least I got away from my ex.. I thought i moved on but i still dream of my ex and still feel disturbed when i remember the days we're still together?
10 responses
@katsmeow1213 (29043)
• United States
24 Jun 08
It can be hard. If you were in a longtime relationship you will probably always remember them. I still think about my ex boyfriend from time to time, and I've been married over 5 years. There were times years ago where even after I was dating my husband I wasn't sure I'd gotten over my ex. It can take a really long time. Just keep yourself busy and keep your thoughts off the ex. You don't have to rush into a new relationship. Take time to work on yourself and think about what you need to do differently for your next relationship. Think of what you need in a partner so that you don't have a repeat of the last break up. Think of what you need to do better to avoid a break up, etc etc.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
24 Jun 08
we just had a 2 months on 7 off relationship yet i still can get over my ex..isn't that exaggeration?
• United States
24 Jun 08
Was it your first relationship? If so, that can tend to last awhile. If not, then perhaps you are just lonely and are holding on to something you shouldn't. Like I said, take time for you. Get busy with friends, get out of the house and do things. Find some hobbies and things you enjoy doing, either alone or with friends. The busier you are, the less you will dwell on the relationship you don't have. When the time is right and you are ready, you will find another, better relationship.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
28 Jun 08
i'm not quite sure if it is love.. i'm confused about it being just a deep obsession.. i just can't quite distinguish what it really was..
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
definitely. all you need is time. which may take long depending on how deep your relationship is. if you found a new one and you're not fully healed. i guarantee you that relationship will not last. there will come a time when you will realized that you have just used that person to help you get over with the last relationship you had. when the right time comes, you will break up with the new one because all you wanted is to be simply alone and enjoy the life of being single for a moment. that is the time that you're finally healed.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
28 Jun 08
yes..but there is still a chance that you can fall for the new person.. well, thanks if that's the case but if what you said that you would end up realizing that you've used a person for your benefit..that's definitely unfair yet really does happen more often than not.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
25 Jun 08
it is possible as i guess. you can choose your way. you have moved on does not man that necessarily that at that point you m,ust have another relation. its to get away from ex.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
28 Jun 08
uh-huh..it's a sort of escape mechanism..
@kissie34 (2296)
• Philippines
25 Jun 08
Yes of course, you can move on even there is no new one that comes in your life. The best thing to move on is to be with your friends and enjoy the life being single. Do everything that you want to do that you cannot do when you are with your ex-boyfriend...Just think positive that you can do it. That you can live without him and besides he is just one part of your life but you still have the other part. Just enjoy your life, okay...
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
28 Jun 08
you're right about all of what you said but it still depends on the situation,right? You can definitely live without him but you would surely miss and long for the times you were together having secong thoughts and regrets about the break up.
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
25 Jun 08
Well, it sounds like you haven't exactly moved on because you are still dreaming about your ex. I don't think moving own has to necessarily go hand in hand with finding a new relationship. I just think that most people happen to find a new relationships once they have moved on. Some people get into a new relationship, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they have let go of their previous relationship yet. They might just be in denial.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
28 Jun 08
yup..i know.. they find a new one..sometimes they use the person unconsciously then hurt them unintendedly in the end then you still find yourself unaffected too much because the truth is you still love your ex.. and i'm going through this situation.I can't leave who i have right now but i don't want to hurt her and make her hope that i really have this love. I just can't make a decision..i know i must leave her as early as now but that person just begs me to stay..
• India
24 Jun 08
seems like you love him a lot...you can move on without any partner....but it also depends how u loved your ex....the example is you...you still remember him still coz u loved him truly i suppose.... before that i would like to ask you one thing... do you still love him very much and does he??
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
24 Jun 08
no, my ex does not..my ex didn't even tried to love me i suppose.. just made me believe and hope that we can be together long.
• Philippines
24 Jun 08
I believe that you can always move on without having to find a new partner. There are other people who can help you do this. You have your family. You have your friends. Do not live in the past. Move on my friend and do not forget to pray that God give you the willpower to move on. Take care and God Bless!
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
28 Jun 08
tnx..and what you adviced me really works but it still depends on yourself and on the will of your Heart to forget and what encouragements people give you in order to forget the past,right?..^^
@palonghorn (5485)
• United States
24 Jun 08
Yes, you can move on without immediately finding a new partner. I divorced my ex, moved to another city 2 hours away, and didn't want a relationship. I took time for me, then when I wasn't even looking I met a wonderful man, over a year after I was on my own. I can say I was better off not rushing into another relationship after just leaving one. I had time to sort things out, and time to get my priorities figured out. I have been living with my s/o for 3 years now, and he has become a fantastic part of my life. But, I do know that if something were to happen, I could and have made it on my own before, and could do it again. It would not be easy, I would never forget him or the great times we have had together, and I will always see it as a blessing that I was lucky enough to have him in my life, for however long we are together.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
28 Jun 08
well, that's in my poem..that line.. I moved away but haven't moved on. Regrets flood the whole of me, past thing belong. escape is my only solution. But its still a breaking decision. well, that person i was talking about also came in my life accidentally and i didn't even expect i'd fall that deep with him.
• Philippines
24 Jun 08
you can still move on without a new partner. Its just a matter of time to forget your ex. wounds heal so they say. Though you think you lost a partner, don't forget that somebody up there is waiting for you to get Him as your partner.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Jun 08
hey i suggest that you must go out of your house and find a new partner for yourself ... and if your have some goals in your life concentrate on them instead of your ex, i believe it hard but still you have to get along with your life.