Will you sometimes feel that yourself is a total failure?

China
June 25, 2008 7:57pm CST
I think she is a very good person, hard working and kind-hearted and I admire her for everything she did. Yesterday, some one told me some secrets about her, yeah, I know nobody is perfect, but I still can't accept the facts. Sometimes people are just not what we judge from the experience. Things always happen to me like this, those I like turned to be not that good, while those I dislike may have some characters that will change my attitude toward them. I probably lack of the ability to get along with people?
2 people like this
16 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
26 Jun 08
You are not a failure if your choice in friendships fail. People like to act in a way that blinds you from their true nature. Some people hold up a shield that causes them to seem like a bad person when in truth they are only shy. I feel that these are the people you encounter. Have a Great day.
• China
27 Jun 08
Thanks, SomeCowgirl. Will you break up with those who wear a fake mask?
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
27 Jun 08
I actually have broken away from those who wear a fake mask, they are not good for your own growth. Have a Great day.
• China
27 Jun 08
Hey, thanks.
• India
26 Jun 08
You are telling that you got to know some secrets about your friend from someone else. Well, so at the first place, you should hate that third person himself/herself, who divulged your friend's secrets who had perhaps confided in that person with total faith. Moreover, do you have any proof that whatever this third person is telling you is correct? If the facts are really nagging you, then I suggest you to ask your friend directly whether they are true. At that moment, the character of this third party will also be revealed to your friend. You mustn't get away with a wrong impression on your friends, especially from the facts provided by any third party. After all, she is your friend, and from your judgement, she is a very nice person. You should stick to your judgement, no matter what others' viewpoints may be.
• China
26 Jun 08
Hey, abhi. Thanks, you really have a point there, you're a good friend. One is lucky if they have a friend like you. Yeah, I'm really glad to know you. Lynette
• India
26 Jun 08
Thanks, Lynette, that really touched me. I'm glad to know that you considered me as a worthy friend. I'm also here to make friends with all such nice people as you are.
• China
26 Jun 08
Wow, abhi, i don't think myself deserve that, but anyway, thanks, indeed. Lynette
@anawar (2406)
• United States
26 Jun 08
I had a friend who I admired in every aspect of her life. One day, she spoke to me in a way that hurt my feelings. She judged me. It took me a long time to figure out how someone I liked so much could treat me like a horrible person. I concluded that I had this person up on a platform so high I wasn't being fair to her. Everyone has their faults and I ended up forgiving myself for not forgiving her, just so I could get it straight in my head that no one was wrong. I doubt you lack the ability to get along with people. I have similar problems and often think the same thing you do! I don't know, maybe I need more practice which comes from meeting new people. I have heard that some people end up loving a person they didn't like at all when they first met them! It's all too confusing for me too.
• China
26 Jun 08
Hello, anawar, yeah, i've met the same circumstances, someone i didn't like at all at the frist met becomes my best friend. Life's interesting Lynette
@anawar (2406)
• United States
26 Jun 08
Interesting? Right now I'm thinking more like frustrating and I'm the only one who doesn't get it. GRRR.
• China
26 Jun 08
Absolutely not interesting, but i've no other methods. We have to admit it no matter we want it or not. My classmates like use this word-interesting to say things that frustrated or puzzled us. We don't know how to explain it, we use interesting, or funny or amusing. Lynette
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
We shouldnt consider our self a total failure beacues of our failures or whatever problem we are facing now. The point is no matter how hard or bad we fall from our mistakes, it doesnt mean it's the end of the world, the point is on how we manage to stand up after our great fall. That's the indication of a good manager in life!
• China
27 Jun 08
Thanks, jovenmuana, yeah, stand up bravely after the fall
@patzel88 (3311)
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
time will change, dont think too much that you cant make it but instead have courage to yourself.
• China
27 Jun 08
Thanks for your encouragement, patzel Lynette
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
26 Jun 08
I can never feel myself a total failure because I know too many others who are. Everywhere I go I see failures. Its not that we live in a world of almost everyday success. So when I try something and fail or someone puts me down I'm just one of the millions who got crapped on and then what ? We have to be philosophical about these things. Success in life is not mandatory, for heaven's sake ! Most of life is a failure anyway !
• China
27 Jun 08
Different viewpoints from others, Bluepatch, but right. Thanks for sharing
@kiara83 (21)
• Italy
26 Jun 08
I'm not able to judge others, too but this isn't a problem because i think life is so strange that our ability of judge has a relative role.As regard your question, i feel quite a total failure because i'm not able to prove my love to a man i love more than my life, a man who never has mistaked with me,on the contary all that i've done proves the contrary to him.Than i'm not able to demonstrate to others what i really am. People judge others without know the truth only for their visible action and it is necessary always to act thinking that the opinion of others can kill you.
• China
27 Jun 08
Yeah, i think people who told me the secret don't know the person well enough, they may overheard from others. But i always failed to know a person well, that's the problem Lynette
@monaliu (344)
26 Jun 08
everyone has his faults! take everything easy! you can accept everything if you think the person is very good. you would dislike everything he did if you thought the person is very bad. don't judge one person just by one thing! take care baby!
• China
27 Jun 08
Hey, monaliu,yeah, right, we shouldn't judge one by only one thing. Have fun Lynette
@subha12 (18453)
• India
26 Jun 08
I do not feel myself a failure for the reason I am not able to understand a person fully. rather i will think myself a failure, when i do a mistake. when life seems such a havoc task to pass each day.
• China
26 Jun 08
Thanks, subha12, you must be very confident and clever Lynette
@Etharon (217)
• Malaysia
26 Jun 08
Yup, felt like that a couple of times in my life when I thought that my life was a complete mess. But I've never given up and have kept on trying and trying, by picking up the pieces and learning from past failures and not repeating the same thing over again. I think that we can only succeed if we first fail.
• China
26 Jun 08
Hey, Etharon, thanks for responding. Yeah, keep trying, although there's still failure sometimes Lynette
• China
26 Jun 08
i quarreled with one of my best friends in university.We are roommates,she treats everyone warmly,give us pieces of advice when we are facing trouble,comfor us when we are sad.I also admire her,think she is my elder sister.after graduating,we worked in different cities,kept touch with each other,even though lived far away.But just before several days,we quarreled with each other for little things,she cursed me,she never did that before,I felt hurt.after that,i forgave her and asked for her forgiving,i called her and left messages on net,but she didn't reply.I never thought she is that person,but that's the reality.so i think we should try to be independent at the society,protect ourselves from being harming,and accepet whatever happens around us.hope you well!
• China
26 Jun 08
Hello, summerrain, I have to say sorry for you first. I know that you suffered when responding this discussion, you experienced the pain once again, sorry. Better check that your friend's not on a business trip, or had a net connection problem or something else stops her from getting in touch with you. And if nothing in the way, she doesn't deserve your pain, and she's not a good friend. What you did is right, contact her, call her and say you're sorry, she should forgive you, true friends will. Good luck Lynette
@raclie (1732)
• Singapore
26 Jun 08
well... the things someone told you can be wrong, maybe you can clrefy with your friend? because the person who told you the bad things may just be jealous and just lie about her past.
• China
26 Jun 08
Hi, raclie, they're also good friends of me, and i don't think they tell me this out of jealousy. But I will check Thanks Lynette
26 Jun 08
Their has been times in my life, I've felt like a complete failure with eduation, my children my family, choices i've made and not made. But life goes on. If you dwell you will only make yourself sad, that you have not addressed the problem. I look at it this way certain things happen for a reason, you get good and bad people in life, but thats life. You just have to find a balance. Sometimes when something is kept from you there is reasonings as to why. Until you address your anwsers with the person in question, you will never know why. Everyone deserves a second chance or a chance to tell. Thanks B
• China
26 Jun 08
Hey, thanks Brown, you're right, I was told by others, she may has an explanation. Well, things may not like that:) I will feel depressed at my education, family as well sometimes. Lynette
@ifglan (1152)
• China
26 Jun 08
My friend,don't doubt about your ability to judge others,i think you are a faithful person. As you said no one is perfect,it really is,even the VIP, the president could make mistakes. You are a little sad about the perfect girl that you love,don't be like that.If the girl has shortages that can reflect her bad minners or character,you should consider your feeling,but if things are common or can be understand reasonably,just keep on loving her,then she may be your angel.
• China
26 Jun 08
Hello, ifglan. Thanks, the secrets made me think that she's a person who doesn't deserve my admiration. But except that, she did well Lynette
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
i may consider myself a total failure...i've been striving hard for success but none of what i wish are happening..its always the other way around..somehow i know sometimes people does something that can give them bad impressions..like you said nobody is perfect..we just have to bend some rules sometimes but not to the point of crashing another person...i did a lot of mistakes in my life that i didn't chose to do..just that i need to do it for the sake of many...
@alouconui (120)
• Philippines
27 Jun 08
I don't think one has to feel that she/he is a failure. All you have to think it as a challege or a guide not to make mistakes again. If ever you fail on some task you did to your life. Never aver loose hope coz maybe it not really meant for you and theres must be a better things which is really best. Always looked at the positive way of life. Never ever put yourself down. In that case you will be able to achieve and gain yiur self esteem.